I'm not getting married any time soon
Well, can you blame her?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 15:41, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Very sensible of her to insist on twelve months clear tests.

( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Thu 8 Jul 2010, 15:47, Reply)

a few years after that to give him time to come out

( djtrialprice, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 15:48, Reply)

Have you asked?
I wouldn't wait much, you two want to look lovely in the pictures, and she might find someone else.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 8 Jul 2010, 15:47, Reply)

Yep
soon enough she'll be saying, "You had three good years. Can't be mad at me. If you liked it then you should have put a ring on it. Wuh-uh-oh. Oh-oh-oooooh-oh-oh."
( djtrialprice, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 15:49, Reply)

And he'll become Sauron!

(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 8 Jul 2010, 15:50, Reply)

8 years 4 months and 28 days
ACTUALLY
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 15:54, Reply)

"WUUUH - UH - OH. OH OH OOOOOOOH OH OH"
*throws shapes*
( djtrialprice, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 15:56, Reply)

WOW!
What are you waiting for, you lazy?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 8 Jul 2010, 15:59, Reply)

Mr Right

(PsychoChomp, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 16:02, Reply)

Hahaha
I've got him, so Darth will have to stay with the girl...
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 8 Jul 2010, 16:03, Reply)

So sharp. Clicky.

( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Thu 8 Jul 2010, 16:06, Reply)

It's not a matter of being lazy
I wasn't aware that there was a time limit on a relationship at which point it either evolves into marriage or ends. You haven't met Ms Foxtrot. She, and all of her sisters, are resolutely commitment-phobic and anti-marriage. She regards the institution as outmoded and unnecessary and doesn't see the point in spunking £10K on one day when we could spend it going round the world. And in many respects she's absolutely goddamn right, it's only romantic sentiment that makes me want to get married. I have no problem with the prospect of asking her, but a) we can't afford a wedding right now and b) I don't think she'd say yes.

And again, can you blame her?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 16:06, Reply)

You don't need anything big
You can take her to Vegas, spend the £10K travelling around America, and get married there, for example.

But if she doesn't like it, she doesn't like it.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 8 Jul 2010, 16:08, Reply)

Seriously, Abby
You've seen my Facebook, you know a bit about what I'm like, surely you can understand her point of view?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 16:23, Reply)

No, I can't
But everybody is different, so if you say she's like that, I'll believe you. I'd be happy if you took me to Vegas and marry me on the spot!
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 8 Jul 2010, 16:29, Reply)

She's very right. Even more reason to get in now before she catches wedding fever.
Next time you plan a holiday just add getting married the day before.
When you get back, have a party. Saving about £9500 from your horror budget.
Or you could do it the traditional way - wait until she's preggers and get married in a rush.
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Thu 8 Jul 2010, 16:11, Reply)

Preggers?! Jesus
There's more chance of me getting Aberracion, Kitty, Applebite, Amberl, Lampito, Chickenlady, BGB, Tourette's, Rosalicious, Kristine, Rachelswipe, Berk and PsychoChomp pregnant, all at exactly the same time, right down to the simultaneous second when the sperm enters the egg, without leaving my desk, in the next five seconds, than there is of Ms Foxtrot letting me impregnate her and carrying it to term.

And can you blame her?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 16:19, Reply)

Stop making excuses.
Faint heart ne'er fucked fine lady.
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Thu 8 Jul 2010, 16:22, Reply)

I fail to see how "my girlfriend doesn't want children"
equates to "I'm afraid to shag her"

I'll shag her as soon as I find a stepladder
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 16:24, Reply)

You know the saying is
Faint heart ne'er won fair lady.
So win her Darth. Make her want to get married.

Then turn her down for pissing about so long.
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Thu 8 Jul 2010, 16:27, Reply)

That's great
I think I love you too!
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 8 Jul 2010, 16:33, Reply)

And how is someone like me supposed to WIN someone like her?
I spend almost all of my non-working time trying my arse off to keep her interested in someone like me and making sure she's happy. It means I'm permanently exhausted but enormously content with my lot. I think that to hope for more might require some kind of genie-filled lamp
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 16:57, Reply)

Why am I not on the Duff List!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 16:25, Reply)

Saving the best for last.

( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Thu 8 Jul 2010, 16:28, Reply)

More to the point how did you get hold of my To Do List!?

( djtrialprice, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 16:30, Reply)

Sorry babe
Knew I'd forgotten someone. Missed Poppet too. Shocking stuff
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 16:52, Reply)

Rosalicious is 15
you filthy fucking pervert
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 16:55, Reply)

I hardly think that's the salient issue here
Other problems include the facts that Chompy is apparently a boy, Chickenlady, Roota and Tourettes have partners who have just been made privy to my intention to fill them with manfat and that NONE OF THE ABOVE would let my penis within 3 miles of them without having handy access to a blowtorch
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 16:59, Reply)

I think it is definitely the salient issue here
paedophilia is a far more serious issue than banging a bloke, or trying to incite adultery.

you deviant.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 17:00, Reply)

Tell you what mate, prove Rosalicious is 15 and I'll let you off
without calling you a beardy twat
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 17:04, Reply)

The idea that she might find someone else occurs to me daily
especially since I'm painfully aware that she's far too good for me
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 15:55, Reply)

Well, then, I don't know why you haven't done it yet, eh? Why?

(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 8 Jul 2010, 16:00, Reply)

Grow a pair, lad.

( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Thu 8 Jul 2010, 16:00, Reply)

^
Do it!
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 8 Jul 2010, 16:03, Reply)

In a tutu.

( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Thu 8 Jul 2010, 16:05, Reply)

See above
Although if everyone I've ever met will sponsor me a tenner to propose in a tutu I would, cos then we'd have enough to pay for the wedding
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 16:06, Reply)

Good luck with that. There's still some on here not
put there fivers in here yet
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Thu 8 Jul 2010, 16:14, Reply)

After all your shenanigans yesterday.............
you're not even gay! I would say I'm dissapointed but don't want that to be misconstrued and inherit the bumder crown!
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 16:16, Reply)

He's just a tease Bobby. Don't be too disappointed.

( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Thu 8 Jul 2010, 16:20, Reply)

We can only have one gay in the village
And its Darth at the moment.

If you hang around, I expect your time will come.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 16:20, Reply)

You inadvertantly make a good point
How come there aren't any ACTUAL gay men on OT?

(I'm assuming that, despite my assertions to the contrary, Bobby's not gay)
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 16:23, Reply)

There are. They just don't make a song and dance about it.
Hands up any B3tans who are genuinely homophobic.
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Thu 8 Jul 2010, 16:25, Reply)

There you go - no replies.
No one gives a toss (except, well,-obviously) who's really gay.
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Thu 8 Jul 2010, 16:32, Reply)

I don't know how to answer the question.
I am indifferent to other people's sexuality. I do get annoyed with anyone who goes around shouting look at me, look at me, whatever they are propounding. Eco warriors can fuck off. Camp queens can fuck off. Wheel screaming chavs in the tacky motors can fuck off.

I'm sure there are more, but I hope you get the picture.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 16:35, Reply)

What would you like to shout about, Mr B?

( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Thu 8 Jul 2010, 16:40, Reply)

In real life, I don't shout.
I tend to try and stay calm in all matters.

But, If you're asking.... I'M A FUCKING BRILLIANT ENGINEER, DON'T QUESTION MY DECISIONS.

I feel better now.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 17:06, Reply)

Not quite what I meant
I didn't mean to imply that the hounding scares gay men off or anything, just expressing my surprise that I'm not aware of any actual gay men who frequent Off Topic
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 16:54, Reply)

If you'd paid slightly more attention to the text above my photos instead of cracking one out over them
you'd have realised that
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 16:22, Reply)

I didn't assume you were gay
you assumed I assumed you were gay by my request for you to suck my balls. When merely I had just watched too much Southpark. Nevermind eh. Anyway I am off home now to wrap spandex around my love wand.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 16:29, Reply)

I think you will fit in well here
and by here I don't mean my rectum

or mouth

or any other orifice for that matter
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 16:34, Reply)

That's how presents work
Will you invite us to the wedding?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 8 Jul 2010, 16:36, Reply)

After all this hassle?
EDIT: Also, Ms Foxtrot does not want to hear on her wedding day "You do know he's a bumder, don't you?" a hundred fucking times
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 16:51, Reply)