I was told a couple of weeks ago that whoever dyes my hair does a really good job
It's natural...
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 9:07, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

Sweet Jesus, you're not dead!
How's tricks?
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 9:48, Reply)

Not dead
Just slow roasted after spending a fortnight in the Mojave Desert with a bunch of cunts.

Stuff's great - so great in fact that I've almost reached 0.8 Viproses on the smug scale.
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 9:54, Reply)

Damn, so not quite croissant territory yet then,
but maybe a pain au chocoloat?

What wonderful things were you driving in the desert?
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 9:58, Reply)

A Range Rover Evoque prototype
Bumsexual name. Nice car.

*munches pastry*
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 10:02, Reply)

*googles*
Not bad. Did it survive?
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 10:10, Reply)

It did, in a manner of speaking
It passed all the tests, but the cunts I was with did their usual Top Gear-esque trick of putting Boney M and Goombay Dance Band on the stereo at full tilt, then supergluing all the controls.

I had to yank the speaker connectors out in the end.
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 10:20, Reply)

Do you find that this joke becomes more or less funny with repetition?
If less, is there a point at which sufficient repetition will render it funny again?
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 10:25, Reply)

I can't remember a time when it was ever funny
I'm tempted next time to return the joke by filling their car with poisonous scorpions
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 10:34, Reply)

slightly less bumsexual than the Vogue I guess
driven anything else exciting recently?

I was wondering where you had got to just the other day.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 10:25, Reply)

A couple of months ago
I was on a driving course at the Monteblanco circuit in Spain, and I got to drive one of Jacques Villeneuve's Williams FW19 F1 cars from the 1997 season.

I was only for a few laps, but my god it was quick. I've driven some fast road machinery, but this car made a Koenigsegg seem like a toy.
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 10:33, Reply)

they are crazy machines
having to go fast otherwise you can't corner must take some getting used to.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 10:44, Reply)

Hell yes
Understandably, they wouldn't let us loose out in the F1 car until we'd spent the best part of a day proving ourselves to be not completely incompetent in the simulator.
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 10:50, Reply)

how realistic is the simulator?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 10:51, Reply)

Far, far better
than I ever imagined it would be.

It even takes account of things like tyre temperatures, wind etc, and is mounted in a large frame that swings about to mimic the G-forces. I want one for myself, but apparently it cost them about £2m.

The only real difference I noticed between that and the real car is that the real car didn't have a button on the steering wheel marked 'New car'
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 10:54, Reply)

that sounds pretty awesome
I guess it's well worth their while to develop a realistic one before sending people out in the real thing!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 10:57, Reply)

your life makes me sad that my life isn't your life.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 10:45, Reply)

You're not the first person to say that
I've a feeling that TGB has taken a contract out on me. That's why I had to move house.
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 10:52, Reply)