Oh the shame
I think they should have lied to protect her parents.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 12:00, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Like the time when I found my dead grandad with a Henry Hoover in his bed.
I had to lie to my parents that I was just hoovering his cock as it smelt a bit dead and didn't want the ambulance men feeling a bit sick on the way to the morgue.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 12:02, Reply)

You did the right thing

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 12:05, Reply)

Not when I put it onto blow instead of suck and puffed out loads of his nutdruff all over the curtains :S
I breathed in loads of it.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 12:08, Reply)

How do you know it was nutdruff and not cat dander?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 12:11, Reply)

tasted like wurther's orginals and my sofa.

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 12:14, Reply)

We shared a grandfather

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 12:14, Reply)

I know, he had a picture of you in his wallet.
of your left booby.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 12:17, Reply)

That's the biggest one

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 12:35, Reply)

That's because you've got a melons and lemons going on, your right looks like an angry whitehead.

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 12:37, Reply)

It is an angry whitehead

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 12:44, Reply)

cor. I bet your boyfriend is always trying to pop it.

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 12:53, Reply)

he's done that a few times but it always comes back

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 12:58, Reply)

You can't lie in an inquest.
You'd have thought the paper just wouldn't have posted it and stolen the picture from facebook.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 12:05, Reply)

I know you can't
Zzzz
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 12:07, Reply)

+b
(the sound of your vibrator)
(PsychoChomp, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 12:09, Reply)

surely that should be
"Chuff.....CHUFF.....CHUFFACHUFFACHUFFACHUFFACHUFFACHUFFACHUFFA ppssstt KA CHUNK CHUFFACHUFFACHUFFA woowoooooooooo ?
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 12:11, Reply)

True they're still working on steam power in Liverpool.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 12:12, Reply)

When having a dibble with a vibrator they need a man at the foot of the bed to shovel coal into their crotches.

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 12:15, Reply)

That's why Liverpool was so big in the Slave trade.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 12:16, Reply)

At least they have steam power.
We've yet to discover fire in Frodsham.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 12:19, Reply)

Frodsham - Named for the best hobbit.

(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Fri 9 Jul 2010, 12:20, Reply)

Nah, Frodo lives in the next village along.
I should know, I bloody went out with him.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 12:21, Reply)

I like this

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 12:26, Reply)

I read it as Frotsham. Disturbing images came to mind.

( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Fri 9 Jul 2010, 12:22, Reply)

A lot of people say that.
I live in a sexually deviant act.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 12:23, Reply)

I live near Pratt's Bottom.

( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Fri 9 Jul 2010, 12:30, Reply)

What, Norwich?

(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Fri 9 Jul 2010, 12:45, Reply)

Yep
She was wearing an England shirt, but this was witheld from the press to save her next of kin from additional humiliation.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 9 Jul 2010, 12:25, Reply)