it's that first smile
looking down at something and knowing that you've made it, and hoping, that if you've done a decent enough job, that they will grow up to exceed all of your own achievements
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 13:46, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

^this
all the firsts that you get to see are brilliant! except the first bath-poo, that wasn't so nice.
( ascorbate, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 13:47, Reply)

Merconium is the best poo ever

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 13:47, Reply)

I let mr vitamin c deal with that
I was too busy drugging myself into a stupor to wipe out the pain of pushing a 9lb baby out of me.
( ascorbate, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 13:48, Reply)

Ouch
Caesareans are the way of the future
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 13:51, Reply)

aesae rustac
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 13:51, Reply)

I'm not so sure about that
a slash across my abdomen doesn't sound a huge amount more fun than a scalpel taken to my labia. I think being male and not having to go through childbirth sounds more fun actually.
( ascorbate, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 13:53, Reply)

Not into watersports, then?
_Sorry...
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 13:53, Reply)

I was jealous back when it happened
I'm not so fussed now. My ex and my sister both had caesareans, it's not as bad as you might think
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 13:59, Reply)

my roommate had surgery which was the equivalent to caesarean, she couldn't walk properly for a week she was in so much pain, off work for 4 weeks and that was going back early
the scar still bothers her, if it's pushed on it aches
I reckon she's the female version of harry potter
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 14:01, Reply)

yeah but American surgeons are shit
I mean, just look at Scrubs, that black guy shouldn't even be allowed IN the hospital
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 14:03, Reply)

Scrubs? Do you think I watch that shit?
No. I don't.
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 14:08, Reply)

you should, it's really funny
I like the Janitor, he's my role model
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 14:17, Reply)

I read about one woman whose scar didn't heal properly
and her intestines effectively fell out a few weeks after the birth. So it can be dreadful. then again, a friend who had one said it was fine, as she was given some impressive drugs to alleviate the pain.
( ascorbate, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 14:04, Reply)

You're talking about your last dump, aren't you?

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 13:47, Reply)

^This

(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 13:51, Reply)

I'm so proud
He starts at playschool on Monday
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 13:59, Reply)

Try not to cry
As you park him in the sandpit.
He'll be happy there.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 14:00, Reply)

Not quite a haiku.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 14:18, Reply)

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 14:19, Reply)

Poor Chickenlady :(

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 14:21, Reply)

She would approve if she were here

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 14:24, Reply)

Oh man
You used the subjunctive.
You went up in my estimation.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 14:24, Reply)

See?
We're meant to be together, Lamps
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 14:25, Reply)

:(
I don't trust you as far as I could throw you. I'm starting to think I should apply this to everyone.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 14:28, Reply)

I'm a cunt
you can always trust me to be a cunt
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 14:29, Reply)

Maybe if we shift the 'as' up to the top line?
I like that, when confronted with the image of Bert taking a steaming turd, possibly wrapped in a nappy and a tiny little t-shirt, and depositing it with the confused staff of a playschool, your first thought was "That almost scans like a haiku."
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 14:21, Reply)

It's the way my minds work,
and the bloody way you phrased it.

Next time, triolet.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 14:22, Reply)

Have you set me this task because it will be a challenge
Or because of the resemblance between 'triolet' and 'toilet'?
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 14:25, Reply)

It was the first form that came into my head
possibly as I read a story recently where one of the characters WAS a triolet.

Get your mind out of the gutter. It wouldn't hurt you to act like a decent member of society for one day, would it? yes, I said member.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 14:27, Reply)

Now that really would be a challenge
Though, to be honest, if you hadn't pointed out that you'd said 'member,' I wouldn't be giggling about it right now.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 14:31, Reply)