Kings of Guano
This has cheered me up somewhat - sorry if it's old hat:
www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/northamerica/usa/7909398/Rock-band-Kings-of-Leon-forced-off-stage-by-pigeon-droppings.html
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 10:39, 2 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Oddly, I have just finished reading this
A bird plopped on my nose once. God it reeked.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 10:41, Reply)

I was opening TGB's car door one day
About to get in, when a bird flew by and shit INTO the car. I am still amazed how it got the angle so perfectly.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 10:43, Reply)

A bird shat into my shoe when I was a kid
I was running up the path, but stopped and leaned to close the gate.
It got its shit into the thin space between my foot and the inside of my trainer.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 10:46, Reply)

That is some serious sniper-like accuracy
BOOM! Headshit!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 10:47, Reply)

Ha!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 10:49, Reply)

did you piss off a crow once?
they have good memories, you know
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 10:48, Reply)

I'd never piss off a crow

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 10:49, Reply)

never love to
off on
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 10:50, Reply)

that's some
specialised porn
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 10:52, Reply)

OI!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 10:52, Reply)

i always assumed bird
poo doesn't smell all that much
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 10:44, Reply)

Me too
but it actually smells of shit
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 10:44, Reply)

I got shat on by a bird in school once,
it flew into the science labs in summer and shat on my shoulder. Rather that than in the mouth though. Fucking nastiness!!!
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 10:44, Reply)

She sounds like a piece of work..

( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 10:50, Reply)

hahaha

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 11:20, Reply)

that could only happen to you
touch wood I've never been shat on by a bird. I'd be so upset if it did happen, I don't know what I'd do.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 10:44, Reply)

it's apparently extremely good luck.
/country sayings blog
(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 10:48, Reply)

people only say that to try and make up for the mortification of being shat on by an animal.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 11:20, Reply)

ha that's fantastic
I shit in the face of pretentious douchebaggery.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 11:02, Reply)