Everything!
Failing that...
1) Naughty people with naughty dogs not on leads
2) Scallies
3) People who don't have spacial awareness or volume control

I called in at my friend's leaving do on Saturday, despite being Not Well. At the bar, some bloke is being all 'jovial' with his mates and is practically doing the back-to-back chimney sweep dance from Mary Poppins with me. I move a little bit, to give him more jocularity space, but this makes him lean further with me/on me. Big lanky curly-headed broken-nosed 'he's a great bloke' CUNT.
Then he bends over and goes "Oh I'm not looking up your skirt, my bank card's under there. He wasn't looking up my skirt, his card wasn't under it, and he was just a pissed knob who has never had one of his friends do him the favour of saying "You take the piss, you invade people's space, your face and voice are annoying, get your sinuses swilled and then commit suicide."

Then a friend of ours comes over and I realise that Marty Feldman Features is actually a Good Friend of my friends and he's a Great Bloke. I say "Really? I was just about to ask you to bar him. He's a tit." and wander off.

What??? I was Not Well!!!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 13:48, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I hate cunts like that
Thankfully I have pulled a friend aside and given him the "Look, you're being a twat tonight, rein it in" talk.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 13:52, Reply)

People need telling MORE

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 13:58, Reply)

Have you seen the Fosters advert about space invaders?
It's actually brilliant.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 13:52, Reply)

ooh no i haven't...

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 13:58, Reply)

Keep an eye out for it, pretty funny
I was shocked

This is it, but you'll need sound
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 13:59, Reply)

Ha!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 14:03, Reply)