I ain't never goin no festivals no moar
Unless I have a nearby B&B or winnebago.

Went VIP camping to Reading 1999 (won a competition) and it was nice to have clean facilities and less unruly camping, but it was still camping.

Went pleb to Leeds 2002, the year of the riots when THE FLOOR GOT SET ON FIRE and I really hated it.
Just as the lighting was pulled down and we were plunged into our dark Lord of the Flies nightmare, I lay in my tent, motionless and silent with Oliver Reed's biography in one hand and a fork in the other (my ex got the knife) and I prayed with all my little heart to me dead great-grandma to keep me safe.

Plus, it was camping. ME 'AIR!!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 9:20, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Aw love, but campin's dead grace innit?

(Bazongaloid, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 9:23, Reply)

It's fer scruffy cunts
Us scousers might be many things but we're fuckin spotless lad.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 9:24, Reply)

This ^
On the other end of the rock 'n roll scale I pitch tents at a beer festival every year and can only sympathise with the winnebago sentiment.

Waking up with a hangover in a tent that mings of my mate's beery farts, knowing I have a quarter mile walk to the solitary lav where the washing facilities consist of wetting bog roll with ice cold water and wiping yourself down usually just after an old giffer has had a big, smelly beer poo five minutes beforehand can get a little tiresome.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 12 Aug 2010, 9:36, Reply)

I am close to tears
Stop this thing before it kills you, PJM!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 9:40, Reply)

The beer is great
I love the beer, I love the relaxed festival vibe and I love catching up with old friends.

However, the sting of eau de Harris in your nostrils at seven in the morning is getting old.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 12 Aug 2010, 9:42, Reply)

"ME 'AIR!!"
Just make out that you're a big fan of your homies, A Flock Of Seagulls.
(Cave Duck, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 9:42, Reply)

I looked like that one year
I refused to sleep on it so I rolled a thing up under my neck and slept like a crab for three nights.
And used dry shampoo, because if I'd washed it, I'd have not had a hairdryer and it would have gone wavy.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 9:54, Reply)

An OBE for tonsorial services surely awaits you.

(Cave Duck, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 9:59, Reply)

I was there that year too
it's a shame because Temple Newsham was a way better site than Brahmam Park.

I was hiding in my tent as the gas cannisters kept going bang, getting closer and closer each time. Then they pulled the lights down and all you could see was little bits of fire all over the place. For all I knew, the apocalypse had landed.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 9:45, Reply)

We went to the cocky's hut (which was actually a toilet block they'd barricaded themselves into) to ask for help because loads of security were scousers, and we thought they'd take pity
and I said "Can you let us in, we're terrified!"
and he said "Fuck yez all." and slammed the door.

And some fellas shone a torch at our tent while one went round the other side to see if our shadows were moving and said "Let's rape someone!" but they didn't.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 9:51, Reply)

that all sounds fucking awful
and that is why festivals with a mixture of types of music are never as pleasant as rock and metal festivals. Rockers and metallers are just nicer people.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 9:54, Reply)

A great proportion of these people were rock and metallers
Reason had died.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 9:56, Reply)

soooo this.
that's why I stopped going to Leeds a couple of years ago. Every year there were just more and more douchebags and less and less bands I liked. I got so sick of hearing teenagers wandering around going "oh my god, I've just drunk half a bottle of Jag and went and talked to some strangers, it was so random!"
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 9:57, Reply)

It really is
Sonisphere was so unbelievably chilled out, apart from a bit of havoc on the final night. Reading and Leeds are increasingly becoming full of cunty scenesters who go there so that they can say they've gone and don't give a shit about the music. Inevitably they're Sienna Miller clones or skinny jean wearing wankers. The last time I went to Leeds the queue for the GHD hair straightening trailer was longer than the queue at the bar. That is not the kind of festival I want to go to.
(berk, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 9:59, Reply)

In that case
Next year I'm going to Leeds to rape the shit out of the indie scenester wankers.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:01, Reply)

you should come to Sonisphere

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:02, Reply)

I'll check the lineup next year
If there are 3 or more bands I want to see, then I'll go.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:04, Reply)

good lad
I'm crossing my fingers that Tool have a new album out by then and fancy playing a festival over here
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:08, Reply)

There's chatter that they'll have one out next year
They've played a random small US tour this summer, and the band have been working on the tunes, but Maynard's been working more on his wine stuff.
There were also rumours of another APC album.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:09, Reply)

I'd like another Tool album
but another APC one would be pretty awesome too.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:13, Reply)

I'm going to see if we can afford to go next year

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:21, Reply)

you should
it was awesome to the max
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:24, Reply)

it was the same last year
so relaxed and pleasant, despite some hardcore music.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:02, Reply)

This is why I wished I still liked rock and metal.
I would like a rock and metal crowd at an electronica festival
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:00, Reply)

Fucking hell,
northerners are cunts.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 9:55, Reply)

Don't go there
It was full of brummies and southerners and all
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 9:56, Reply)

I don't think anyone's ever got raped at Leeds
Reading gets the rape, Leeds gets the pillaging.

Apparently a couple of people got raped at Latitude this year which was surprising since it's supposed to be the most polite festival ever.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 9:58, Reply)

it's very early for rape talk!

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:01, Reply)

It's never too early for rape talk when Chompy's around

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:04, Reply)

-
talk
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:23, Reply)

I went one of the years there were riots
2004, I think. My first ever festival. My campsite was quiet as anything so I didn't realise til I got home and my mother was waiting for me on the doorstep clutching a tear stained crumpled copy of the daily mail.
(berk, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 9:53, Reply)

My mum didn't believe me and thought I was exaggerating
So I emailed my dad the pictures of the FLOOR ON FIRE
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 9:55, Reply)

they managed to set fire to the metal toilets
I really don't know how.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 9:59, Reply)