Screw you Bartleby, I'm posting a new thread.
Clendrix is off to her first festival today. She has told me to look after this place for her. In particular this means that Labia Majora had better watch his step as I'll be keeping a very close eye on him.

Have you ever been to a festival? Did you enjoy it? Any funny stories?
If you haven't been to one, do you intend to go to one or if not why doesn't the idea of spending several nights in a tent surrounded by stupid cunts who break your stuff while you gradually smell worse and worse appeal to you?
(Bazongaloid, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 9:08, 180 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I don't think I've mentioned on here that I went to glastonbury earlier in the year.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 9:10, Reply)

See what I care you twat.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 9:10, Reply)

Love you sweety
mwah

mwah
(Bazongaloid, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 9:14, Reply)

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 9:19, Reply)

It's James!
I love him.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 9:22, Reply)

He's great.
Nobody gets angrier, quicker.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 9:27, Reply)

2000 trees was my warm up for Glasto next year
I don't like big groups people so am psyching myself up.

any tips for festival tossers!
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 9:11, Reply)

Embrace it.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 9:12, Reply)

it rather than them

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 9:50, Reply)

Been to Download
most years except this year and 08.

Bloodstock and Damnation too.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 9:13, Reply)

The Futurama festival at Leeds used to be indoors. That was more civilised. You Twat.

(Cave Duck, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 9:17, Reply)

I ain't never goin no festivals no moar
Unless I have a nearby B&B or winnebago.

Went VIP camping to Reading 1999 (won a competition) and it was nice to have clean facilities and less unruly camping, but it was still camping.

Went pleb to Leeds 2002, the year of the riots when THE FLOOR GOT SET ON FIRE and I really hated it.
Just as the lighting was pulled down and we were plunged into our dark Lord of the Flies nightmare, I lay in my tent, motionless and silent with Oliver Reed's biography in one hand and a fork in the other (my ex got the knife) and I prayed with all my little heart to me dead great-grandma to keep me safe.

Plus, it was camping. ME 'AIR!!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 9:20, Reply)

Aw love, but campin's dead grace innit?

(Bazongaloid, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 9:23, Reply)

It's fer scruffy cunts
Us scousers might be many things but we're fuckin spotless lad.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 9:24, Reply)

This ^
On the other end of the rock 'n roll scale I pitch tents at a beer festival every year and can only sympathise with the winnebago sentiment.

Waking up with a hangover in a tent that mings of my mate's beery farts, knowing I have a quarter mile walk to the solitary lav where the washing facilities consist of wetting bog roll with ice cold water and wiping yourself down usually just after an old giffer has had a big, smelly beer poo five minutes beforehand can get a little tiresome.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 12 Aug 2010, 9:36, Reply)

I am close to tears
Stop this thing before it kills you, PJM!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 9:40, Reply)

The beer is great
I love the beer, I love the relaxed festival vibe and I love catching up with old friends.

However, the sting of eau de Harris in your nostrils at seven in the morning is getting old.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 12 Aug 2010, 9:42, Reply)

"ME 'AIR!!"
Just make out that you're a big fan of your homies, A Flock Of Seagulls.
(Cave Duck, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 9:42, Reply)

I looked like that one year
I refused to sleep on it so I rolled a thing up under my neck and slept like a crab for three nights.
And used dry shampoo, because if I'd washed it, I'd have not had a hairdryer and it would have gone wavy.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 9:54, Reply)

An OBE for tonsorial services surely awaits you.

(Cave Duck, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 9:59, Reply)

I was there that year too
it's a shame because Temple Newsham was a way better site than Brahmam Park.

I was hiding in my tent as the gas cannisters kept going bang, getting closer and closer each time. Then they pulled the lights down and all you could see was little bits of fire all over the place. For all I knew, the apocalypse had landed.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 9:45, Reply)

We went to the cocky's hut (which was actually a toilet block they'd barricaded themselves into) to ask for help because loads of security were scousers, and we thought they'd take pity
and I said "Can you let us in, we're terrified!"
and he said "Fuck yez all." and slammed the door.

And some fellas shone a torch at our tent while one went round the other side to see if our shadows were moving and said "Let's rape someone!" but they didn't.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 9:51, Reply)

that all sounds fucking awful
and that is why festivals with a mixture of types of music are never as pleasant as rock and metal festivals. Rockers and metallers are just nicer people.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 9:54, Reply)

A great proportion of these people were rock and metallers
Reason had died.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 9:56, Reply)

soooo this.
that's why I stopped going to Leeds a couple of years ago. Every year there were just more and more douchebags and less and less bands I liked. I got so sick of hearing teenagers wandering around going "oh my god, I've just drunk half a bottle of Jag and went and talked to some strangers, it was so random!"
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 9:57, Reply)

It really is
Sonisphere was so unbelievably chilled out, apart from a bit of havoc on the final night. Reading and Leeds are increasingly becoming full of cunty scenesters who go there so that they can say they've gone and don't give a shit about the music. Inevitably they're Sienna Miller clones or skinny jean wearing wankers. The last time I went to Leeds the queue for the GHD hair straightening trailer was longer than the queue at the bar. That is not the kind of festival I want to go to.
(berk, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 9:59, Reply)

In that case
Next year I'm going to Leeds to rape the shit out of the indie scenester wankers.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:01, Reply)

you should come to Sonisphere

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:02, Reply)

I'll check the lineup next year
If there are 3 or more bands I want to see, then I'll go.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:04, Reply)

good lad
I'm crossing my fingers that Tool have a new album out by then and fancy playing a festival over here
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:08, Reply)

There's chatter that they'll have one out next year
They've played a random small US tour this summer, and the band have been working on the tunes, but Maynard's been working more on his wine stuff.
There were also rumours of another APC album.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:09, Reply)

I'd like another Tool album
but another APC one would be pretty awesome too.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:13, Reply)

I'm going to see if we can afford to go next year

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:21, Reply)

you should
it was awesome to the max
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:24, Reply)

it was the same last year
so relaxed and pleasant, despite some hardcore music.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:02, Reply)

This is why I wished I still liked rock and metal.
I would like a rock and metal crowd at an electronica festival
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:00, Reply)

Fucking hell,
northerners are cunts.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 9:55, Reply)

Don't go there
It was full of brummies and southerners and all
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 9:56, Reply)

I don't think anyone's ever got raped at Leeds
Reading gets the rape, Leeds gets the pillaging.

Apparently a couple of people got raped at Latitude this year which was surprising since it's supposed to be the most polite festival ever.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 9:58, Reply)

it's very early for rape talk!

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:01, Reply)

It's never too early for rape talk when Chompy's around

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:04, Reply)

-
talk
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:23, Reply)

I went one of the years there were riots
2004, I think. My first ever festival. My campsite was quiet as anything so I didn't realise til I got home and my mother was waiting for me on the doorstep clutching a tear stained crumpled copy of the daily mail.
(berk, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 9:53, Reply)

My mum didn't believe me and thought I was exaggerating
So I emailed my dad the pictures of the FLOOR ON FIRE
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 9:55, Reply)

they managed to set fire to the metal toilets
I really don't know how.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 9:59, Reply)

went to Roskilde in Denmark a couple of times (and took MASSIVE DRUGS)
been to Sonisphere for the last couple of years, and have been to numerous small ones. Great fun, but I concluded after Sonisphere this year that I'd much rather listen to rock and metal music than the same shit that tends to get played at all the small festivals, either really average folky shit, or ska, or crappy folky-punky shit.

I've never had anything stolen or broken while at a festival, and I've never ended up that filthy either.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 9:31, Reply)

I would like to inform you
that it entirely your fault that I have eaten two almond croissants this morning.
(berk, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 9:42, Reply)

good aren't they?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 9:45, Reply)

They are the shit.
I haven't had one in ages, and I really can't fathom why.
(berk, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 9:48, Reply)

did you take pictures?

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 9:45, Reply)

No, nobody needs to see
my bloated, crumb covered carcass.
(berk, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 9:47, Reply)

Oh hush you
Kitty wants to start a meme.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 9:48, Reply)

Do I have to look smug?
*practises*
(berk, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 9:51, Reply)

I didn't manage it
So you don't have to.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 9:51, Reply)

I think we should all recreate the smug croissant guy picture
it would make me happy.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 9:59, Reply)

I plan to when I'm on holiday
If the apartment has a balcony. If not, I'll invade a random balcony for it.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:00, Reply)

I'm watching you

(Bazongaloid, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:02, Reply)

*does the Silence of the Lambs dance*

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:04, Reply)

would you do me?
I'd do me.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:34, Reply)

That's impressive
I've just finished one for breakfast - we've a Caffe Nero two doors up from the office.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 12 Aug 2010, 9:49, Reply)

DID YOU TAKE A GODDAMN PICTURE?!

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 9:59, Reply)

Nope
You can have a pic of the discarded Nero paper bag which is currently residing in the bin under my desk if you wish?
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:01, Reply)

it's not the same
*sulks*
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:04, Reply)

They were quite small
and I was quite hungry. *feels judged*
(berk, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:00, Reply)

Not at all!
The ones I had were very yummy indeed. If I had more, I'd have eaten them by now myself!
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:02, Reply)

Well, I'm on my way to a festival now, so does that answer your question?
Bloodstock, woo!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 9:35, Reply)

If you see Clendrix or Kaol
let them punch you in the face as hard as they can.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 9:39, Reply)

He probably won't know what Kaol looks like
So he ought to just invite everyone to punch him in the face, just to be sure.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 9:58, Reply)

we could all describe the ridiculous outfit that Kaol will be wearing

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:00, Reply)

I'm guessing it'll include
Black leather trenchcoat, black leather fingerless gloves and sunglasses.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:02, Reply)

Good grief
is he Blade?
(berk, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:06, Reply)

He wishes

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:07, Reply)

he'd like to think so

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:07, Reply)

more like Rihanna

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:22, Reply)

Reading'94 when I was 17, I really enjoyed it.
Headliners were Cyprus Hill, Primal Scream and The Red Hot Chillie Peppers.

Did Glastonbury'95 and didn't enjoy it as much. Nice weather but it was one of the last years before they got the security sorted out and it was just too over-crowded.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 9:38, Reply)

I have a 100% success record of jibbing into festivals for nowt
See also: Wembley Stadium.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 9:40, Reply)

I did a few in my misspent yoof
nowadays if I like a band I go and see that band - indoors - and then go home and sleep in my own bed. Like a grownup.

bah grumble kids etc
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 9:41, Reply)

big chill 2008
we got there too late to find a decent site, realised when we got the tent out of the bag that neither of us had ever pitched one before, spent literally about 2 hours erecting the shonkiest tent you've ever seen, parasiting onto other people's tent pegs because my friend's brother's tent was missing half the pegs... realised the following morning that the outer layer was missing because everything was three feet deep in dew...

ate twice the recommended number of brownies, passed out at 6pm, woke up at 9am the following morning having missed the 50,000 strong action that had gone on all night.......

utter utter fiasco. on the plus side, the big chill is really good fun and there were some great people there. 9/10, would go again. but would only eat 1 feckin brownie this time.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 9:43, Reply)

"Brownies" as in...
..."Space cakes"?
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 12 Aug 2010, 9:44, Reply)

No, she's really, really into scat

(Bazongaloid, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 9:48, Reply)

we talked about this, sweetheart
remember you were going to keep your fantasies in your head, not frantically spurted out all over the board?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 9:49, Reply)

Bed Shitter?

(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 12 Aug 2010, 9:50, Reply)

that wasn't me though
and it was as far from turning me on as you could possibly get. even paul daniels in a sparkly thong would be miles hotter.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:00, Reply)

that's true of any situation though

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:34, Reply)

What, Like Cleo Laine?

(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 12 Aug 2010, 9:51, Reply)

I find both forms of scat equally abhorrent.

(Cave Duck, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 9:57, Reply)

This ^

(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 12 Aug 2010, 9:57, Reply)

Naughty naughty
I have to avoid such things as one day I may be screened for MASSIVE DRUGZ and I don't want to be "Removed from the register" and struck off.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 9:47, Reply)

i don't know what you are all implying
it was just a really big cake baked by a man so it was a real "boy" cake, all burnt, and it just made me sleepy because i can't normally eat that much cake. that is ALL.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 9:49, Reply)

what do you do colonel?

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 9:51, Reply)

He's Dwain Chambers

(Cave Duck, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 9:54, Reply)

Chambers "The Rock" Johnson
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:06, Reply)

-
therockjohnson Dibley
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:24, Reply)

Dwain The Vicar of
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:35, Reply)

you win this round

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:39, Reply)

Aww, I was hoping someone would go for Officer Dibble from Top Cat.

(Cave Duck, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:40, Reply)

touch kids

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 9:57, Reply)

he's a tree surgeon

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:00, Reply)

Drug dealer
Accountant
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:02, Reply)

accountant dealer.

If you need a drug dealer he'll find you one, for a price.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:05, Reply)

Is everyone sorted for e's and whizz and tax advice?
Top one, nice one, GET SORTED!
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:08, Reply)

my friend ordered mcat through vivastreet
he googled 'where can I get drugs' and the dealer had a listing. I was like WTF
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:22, Reply)

Any drug that has a street name of "Meow Meow" can't be too bad, can it?
Perhaps they should name Meth "Fluffy Kitty Snoozems"
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:25, Reply)

haha

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:29, Reply)

To be fair drug dealers are equally worried about their peers discovering that they've been reading accounting books
"I couldn't help it the ammortisation just takes over you"
(Cave Duck, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:09, Reply)

Well ammortisation does lead to a lack of Goodwill
*Laughs at accountancy joke*

*Dies a little inside*
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:17, Reply)

bunch of funny cunts this morning eh!!!
tree surgeon - I need some sort of cipher with you O'Hara you baffle the fuck out of me.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:04, Reply)

I am indeed an enigma
It's my borderline self-diagnosed-because-the-internet-said-I-didn't-have-it ADHD
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:05, Reply)

thanks for the explanation........................................
edit - crazy lady
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:07, Reply)

Yes, several
Leeds and Reading a few times, Latitude in 2008 (so middle class!) and Sonisphere a couple of weeks ago. I've never had anything nicked or broken and I love the whole experience, bar possibly the portaloos. Give me a long drop any day. I'd love to go to Glasto but none of my mates are really in to it and the headliners are frequently dubious.
(berk, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 9:47, Reply)

*feels scrutinised*
I went to Download in 2006, as my gf-at-the-time got us AAA wristbands (her mate is Lacuna Coil's tour manager). She lived in Nottingham, so we didn't camp there, just got a lift each day.

It was brilliant! Bloody hot though, but we could nip into the VIP area to chill out at proper bars, and use the decent loos. Saw a fair few band members there 'n' all, but none of the headliners. Saw Tool headline the Friday night, and they rocked my balls off.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 9:48, Reply)

I'd love to see Tool rock a festival

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 9:51, Reply)

Oh it was awesome
Their huge light and video show was epic to watch in a field with thousands of people.
Next UK fest they play at, you and I are going, capisce?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 9:53, Reply)

I am all over that
the mrs will be up for it too, she loves Tool

IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 9:54, Reply)

*nudges*
*winks*
*says no more*
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 9:56, Reply)

One Reading
I spent about 4 hours wandering around campsites looking for the guy giving out those big tubs of mini hula hoops.

By the time I did find him I was stoned and ate about four tubs in half an hour which is probably why I am a fattylol
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 9:54, Reply)

Aww, but you're not a fattylol!

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 9:57, Reply)

I know you are just trying to suck up to me

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 9:58, Reply)

I, labia majora,
Humbly and unreservedly apologise for any and all criticism of your ladygarden. From this moment forth I promise to never refer to it in anything other than glowing terms.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 9:59, Reply)

Wow, it glows too?

(berk, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:01, Reply)

It's got a power station inside it

(Bazongaloid, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:06, Reply)

Hey!
That's NOT cool al!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:08, Reply)

Al's allowed to be a total cunt about my cunt

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:14, Reply)

Power stations usually run hot.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:14, Reply)

She likes to date older men so she can yell "BY THE POWER OF GRAY SKULL" at the moment she finishes off.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:15, Reply)

are you gonna ask that girl out today gonz?
are ya? huh? are ya? no pressure!
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:17, Reply)

Who you asking out Gonzaroono

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:18, Reply)

It's me
I said yes already. I want him to cook for me.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:24, Reply)

Did you see what I made last night? I did flombay for the first time, was well lush.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:27, Reply)

I did not
you can make it for our date.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:30, Reply)

Sound's good !
It was chicken livers flombayed with whisky, done with onions and mushrooms, made into a creamy sauce, on a bed of steamed rice from the chinese across the road; 'cus I can't get rice 'just right'.

I can see why most people wouldn't like chicken livers or would be put off by them, but it would be just as nice using a fillet steak and home made chips instead of rice.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:32, Reply)

sounds pretty delish
I do love food ever so much.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:36, Reply)

Ace !
One day, some point this year, I'll do some sort of b3tan dinner party thing.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:46, Reply)

o c
for
(PsychoChomp, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:28, Reply)

cock isn't a verb!

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:30, Reply)

It can be in that context.
Isn't language fun?
(PsychoChomp, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:31, Reply)

-
cook dance
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:28, Reply)

that too
I'm going to teach him the Safety Dance
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:30, Reply)

The girl who works at a cafe I've been going to recently.
She's one of these girls who is like a billion leagues above me, but seems like the kind of girl who doesn't really care about that sort of thing, I hope. I donno, I just got a bit of a crush on her, I'm quite smitten. Donno if she'll say 'yes', but hopefully she will.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:26, Reply)

Aww good luck gonz

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:30, Reply)

Cheers =)

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:35, Reply)

I hope you ask her
I'd think you were well brave.
I can only do it by text or email.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:34, Reply)

Thanks, it's the first time I'd have done anything like this since... ermm.... since I left school really.
I'm always well dodgy when it comes to asking girls out, but I figure I'm getting on to 27 now, and it won't be to long before that 2 turns into a 3 and I'd still be in the same spot I am today, except no longer in the prime of my life.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:37, Reply)

PLUS.... PLUS..... if I get her number, I'm not going to get into the habit of texting her for general-chatting.
I always do that and then am like "OH NO, SHE WANTS TO SPEAK TO ME, HEAR MY VOICE, AND SHE'LL SEE I'M ALL NERVOUS, AND I'M NOT GOING TO PICK UP THE PHONE", and it all goes down hill from there.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:40, Reply)

Well, when you're just dating someone, texting is a lot easier
But if it becomes a relationship and you love them, it just happens naturally and you're not nervous on the phone any more. Becuase you're talking to your mate as well as 'a bird, eek!' or 'a bloke, eek!'.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:42, Reply)

Yeah', that makes sense, but I'd try and do a few calls to begin with, just so it's not text-only.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:47, Reply)

Yeah that's cool

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:51, Reply)

excited for you now Gonz.
we expect an update after lunch too!
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:46, Reply)

this ^

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:47, Reply)

I bet the update is :
She's not working today
(PsychoChomp, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:49, Reply)

Will do =)

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:51, Reply)

Exackly!
being a barmaid in a nice area (and even in the library) I've had some lovely conversations with some really nice, funny, intelligent lads, and I've really thought "There's something going on here..." But only a handful of those have asked me out, and being a girl, and being on the wrong side of the counter, I'd never have asked them myself.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:40, Reply)

I think I just might !
I donno if the theater might be a bit much for a first date thinggy, I reckon some girls might be a bit "=/" about that.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:23, Reply)

dinner and a movie is a classic
On our first date Wiggy and I were going to go for dinner and a movie but we realised there were no good restaurants and no good films out so we got Pizza Hut and Blockbuster. It was beautiful.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:25, Reply)

Cool !
There are a few good resturants 'round me, donno what's on at the pictures though. I like the idea of her coming 'round mine and me cooking and us watching a film, but I'd have to bribe the flatmates to fuck off out of the living room or something like that.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:30, Reply)

toy story 3, inception, karate kid
can reccomend all three! not sure if they are 1st date suitable but you will have a nice time!
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:31, Reply)

toy story 3 probably is
provided she doesn't look down her nose at it because it's a kids film

letting her choose is the best plan
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:34, Reply)

Inception sounds good, ain't seen that and want too, I reckon it could be 'the matrix' of [the current time].
It's got a nice bit of action, good story line, nothing sappy, and good to talk about afterwards.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:34, Reply)

by 'the matrix of the current time'
do you mean: "good at the time, but with awful sequels and really when you watch it again a few years down the line it is painful to watch because the acting and script are so fucking terrible"?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:37, Reply)

pretty much.
Still, was well good at the time.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:38, Reply)

I don't think it's a first date movie
it's a bit long and intense, I think lighthearted movies are always best for a first date unless you already know that she's a movie buff and definitely loves films like that.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:38, Reply)

Hmmm.
I'm still toying with the idea of the theater, and doing a "It's an open-ticket valid 'till the end of the month, my mate sorted them out with me but he can't make it now" thing, something like Wicked, it's fun and light hearted and a bit special... but the 'my mate sorted me out' gets rid of the full-on'ness of it, at least partly. With the theater, it's a bit different, it's not just in a dark room with absolutly no talking.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:44, Reply)

The only downside of having her round to your house is that it's a bit full on
in my opinion anyway. I wouldn't go round to a bloke's house for the first date because I'd immediately be thinking "how am I going to leave politely if it doesn't go well" whereas in a restaurant there are other people and other things going on. Plus you might be a rapist. Or she might be one of them aliens from Mars Attacks and she'll bite your finger off and spit it in the fish tank.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:32, Reply)

I was thinking the same thing
especially the Mars Attacks bit
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:33, Reply)

Yeah', exactly, totally agree.
Plus also she doesn't really know me that well, and visa-versa, and I'm very concous about not pressurising anyone into anything.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:33, Reply)

or a mega hot zombie like in zombieland
can you become a zombie by shagging a zombie or only if bitten?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:34, Reply)

if Braindead is anything to go by
then two zombies shagging will quickly produce a zombie baby

so I can only imagine that a normal man shagging a woman will produce a half-zombie child. I'm assuming that this would have the normal properties of a zombie but retain the intelligence of a person. Not a good thing.

Gonz: don't shag the zombie girl
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:36, Reply)

At least wear a condom.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:39, Reply)

This happens in the remake of Dawn of the Dead I think
she has a half zombie baby. All I'm saying is if there is ever a zombie apocalypse I'm still going to want to hump something.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:41, Reply)

^this
Can't go wrong with the above really. Apart from this poor Wiggy fellow who has ended up with the she devil.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:30, Reply)

I like this

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:32, Reply)

I'm glad I did something to please you oh evil one.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:34, Reply)

I'm going to pretend you said that in a Little Nicky voice

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:57, Reply)

I've done many a festival
I like them.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 9:57, Reply)

Test
test
(PsychoChomp, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:16, Reply)

Fail

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:17, Reply)

Not at all, I just needed a post with a strikethrough that I could edit.
Shut your face.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:19, Reply)

I went to glastomberry once.
It was quite good fun, I volentiered with oxfam and had to do 3 8 hour shift over 5 days. I thought I was supposed to be there on a friday, not the monday before. On thursday I was at work and they were saying how it's all kicking off on the radio, I was like "WTF? It doesn't start 'till tomorow". So I phoned up oxfam and they said "WTF? where are you?". So I phoned up my friend I was going with and we rushed off there that day, and it was all alright.

I think next time I'm going to stay in a custom double-decker bus that I've kitted out with a jacuzzi and comfy bed and kitchen, and park it right in front of whatever stage with an act I wanna see at the time.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:19, Reply)

As some of you noticed, I'm disgusting and still have my wristbands on
I've been to Leeds 4 years in a row, will do my 5th soon enough - volunteering again. Last year I met Applebite for the first time. It was beautiful.

I cannot wait for Arcade Fire. Very very very cannot wait.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:53, Reply)