True story, I once took a dump in a garage forecourt.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 13 Aug 2010, 10:16, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

At the time, I had a card that said "Pretty please, let me use your toilet, this is a MEDICAL EMERGANCY" that the doctors gave me.
It's so good, it means I don't have to resort to McDs or KFC toilet, which are grim and horrible. I can go into the posh resturants and a lot of the time they let me use it. I always leave the place as I find it, put a quid or soo in the pot and say to whoever let me in "Let me get you a coffee, thank you so much".

So I was walking home late at night, and The Urge took over me, I couldn't help it, and I wasn't about to go in my pants and have to walk home like a cowboy. I go up to the petrol station's thinggy and explained the situation, and he turned it a right prick, said he won't let me in, I offered him even a fiver, and he said 'no'. I was perfectly polite to him, and he then tells me to fuck off ! I was so taken back, but now The Urge was inimient, it's happening weather he or I like it or not. So I walked off into the middle of it, right by one of the pumps so I wasn't seen from the road, pulled down my trousers and let rip. It was then my luck turned, I noticed those sheets of paper they give you for whipping down the petrol when you spill it, perfect bog roll !
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 13 Aug 2010, 10:23, Reply)

He was shouting at me as I was doing it, but it was over in seconds, I just said 'thanks' and walked off.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 13 Aug 2010, 10:25, Reply)

Haha
I can't believe you were so polite to him after he was rude to you!
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Fri 13 Aug 2010, 10:27, Reply)

Since when is shitting where someone works polite?

(PsychoChomp, Fri 13 Aug 2010, 10:28, Reply)

I was referring to him saying "thanks"
as he walked off.
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Fri 13 Aug 2010, 10:29, Reply)

When they work as a lavatory attendant?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Aug 2010, 10:30, Reply)

pfft!

(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Fri 13 Aug 2010, 10:32, Reply)

...a sound regularly heard in that line of work...

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Aug 2010, 10:40, Reply)

Yes
I thought that as I typed it!
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Fri 13 Aug 2010, 10:44, Reply)

You know you're in a dodgy town when
the toilet in McDonalds only has one of those UV lights in and not a proper light so as to stop people jacking up in there. Gonz, right, if this is too personal a question, by all means tell me where to go, but what is up with your guts?
(berk, Fri 13 Aug 2010, 10:29, Reply)

Heh, true.
I got something called Chrones Desease.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 13 Aug 2010, 10:31, Reply)

Ah, ok
I'm sorry you have such a shit time with it, I'm sure when I studied it at uni I read that it could be managed fairly well :(
(berk, Fri 13 Aug 2010, 10:36, Reply)

I donno the technical details, don't really want to know.
But it effects different people differently, it's quite rare you'll find two people with the same story on it.

I'm on some stuff called Inflixinab at the moment, and I'm currently the best I've ever been.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 13 Aug 2010, 10:42, Reply)

I had a schoolmate
...who suffered from Chron's.

Nasty, nasty conditon, he'd be off school for months on end until he had a section of bowel removed which improved his condition considerably.

After the op, he reputedly asked the doc if he could keep the length of intenstine along with his stitches as a souvenir.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 13 Aug 2010, 10:47, Reply)

O_o
Of all the souvenirs to have...
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 13 Aug 2010, 10:56, Reply)

Oh my, no thanks. I gave my bits away to SCIENCE.
I've had two lots of around 10" taken out.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 13 Aug 2010, 11:22, Reply)

Ow!
I'm really sorry to read that Gonz.

You have my sympathies, my friend had a really rough time with Chron's.

How are you getting by since the ops though?
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 13 Aug 2010, 11:33, Reply)

I have my ups'n'downs, but at the moment I'm the best I've ever been =)
This inflixinab stuff is great, I have it every 2 months, and in the week or two leading up to it, I'm knackered, and the week after I'm also knackered (it wipes out the imume system, and can be quite nasty if it doesn't work right), but three bad weeks a month and having the rest of the time good, is good enough for me =)
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 13 Aug 2010, 11:50, Reply)