Have you worked out your 'patter'?
Why not go all Pat Mustard on her and see if she'll let you put your massive tool in her box?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 17 Aug 2010, 11:11, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

I was thinking of just buying the biggest rocket or firework in there
and make very unsubtle and obvious penis jokes before casually getting my cock out
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 17 Aug 2010, 11:16, Reply)

If she working in B&Q
She'll be concious of the world and health and safety.

Buy the biggest firework they've got, but rather than asking for a bag will you get to the till, whip out a giant Rover biscuit tip - put the firework in there, give her a wink and walk out with a swagger.

She'll be putty in your hands. Absolutely no way you can fail. Trust me. *I'm a natural with the ladies.*

JTDF
*Internet lies.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 17 Aug 2010, 11:20, Reply)

it's the firework shop not B&Q
natural with raper of
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 17 Aug 2010, 11:22, Reply)

What? Firework shops sell grinders?
Catherine Wheels, yes. Sparklers, yes. But a grinder for grinding things?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 17 Aug 2010, 11:25, Reply)

yeah for Marijuana
You know on Gloucester road near the Hobgoblin. Other side of the road bout 50 yards up. Little fire work shop.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 17 Aug 2010, 11:28, Reply)

Tell ya what.
I'm in a benevolent mood today, and I'm heading into Bristol later on so if you want, I'll go to the shop and say.

'My mate, well, I say mate, this bloke I know, well, I don't actually know him, but this character on the Internet says he fancies the ginger girl what works here. If she's interested, here is a link to a thread where he says he likes her'

I'll buy a box of bangers, just to show I'm the real deal, not some weirdo.

When you next go in there, her fuse will be well lit and all you'll need to do is stand back as she explodes into a sparkly, spinning love rocket.

Warning. Should she fail to go off, don't approach her again.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 17 Aug 2010, 11:33, Reply)

and if you could also pop into tesco express just a bit further up
opposite the flyer and tell the blonde/redhead in there she is also on my LIST that would be appreciated.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 17 Aug 2010, 11:38, Reply)