A kid was running towards me on the pavement the other day and barging people out of the way
so I just stood still. He bounced off my and richoted into a fence. I laughed and the parents scowled at me.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:00, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Did you stand up straight with your fists on your hips and your elbows out and shout;
"Ha HA HAA, PUNEY EARTHLING! Your weapons are no match for me!"
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:04, Reply)

oh my god I wish I had
I just smirked and carried on walking. I do like to say "you win again, gravity" when I drop things, but I think I'm the only one who finds this funny.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:06, Reply)

Zap Brannigan quotes are always WIN

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:07, Reply)

this is why I can't say 'velour' in a normal voice anymore.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:16, Reply)

heh
I do that too
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:18, Reply)

He bounced off your what?

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:06, Reply)

shins
what are you implying?
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:06, Reply)

you wrote "bounced off my and richoted[sic] into a fence"

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:09, Reply)

HAPPY CANDLE DAY YOU BEARDY CUNTSWALLOP

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:15, Reply)

awww fanks!

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:18, Reply)

whoops
Love the [sic], so smug. I CAN@T TIPE GOOT/
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:15, Reply)

I was pleased with it :-)

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:18, Reply)

what does [sic] actually mean?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:19, Reply)

lmgtfy.com/?q=%5Bsic%5D
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:20, Reply)

I knew that was coming. Ta though for doing the leg work.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:29, Reply)

I just like using let me google that for you

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:31, Reply)

I've started doing it at work
some people don't take well to it. What happened to a sense of humour eh?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:33, Reply)

most people are stupid and thick
edit, that's right stupid AND thick
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:45, Reply)

me too
I ask leading questions so someone will ask me what something is
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:33, Reply)

it means when you're quoting something it's not your mistake, that's how it was written
some people argue it's an acronym, some argue it's Latin. I can't remember what the acronym would be, I don't care enough.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:22, Reply)

it's Latin
there's probably a backronym though
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:24, Reply)

I thought it was 'spelled incorrectly'
but I googled before the other guy asked
(The Cat Hater punch a cow for the planet, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:25, Reply)

the other guy
You know who I am Bert you bollock peddler.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:28, Reply)

alright, this is the last time I'll rise to this
why do you think I am Bert?
(The Cat Hater punch a cow for the planet, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:30, Reply)

Shut up Bert

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:31, Reply)

*applauds*

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:31, Reply)

*facepalms*
no one actually thinks you are Bert. Even he wasn't as dull and dense as you are managing to be.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:31, Reply)

http://b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post853597#post853604

(The Cat Hater punch a cow for the planet, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:33, Reply)

BGB doesn't think you are Bert

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:34, Reply)

wait, that was supposed to be http://b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post853604

(The Cat Hater punch a cow for the planet, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:35, Reply)

Your sig is pitiful, Bert.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:37, Reply)

as pitiful as correcting people's spelling mistakes on the internet?
What a wholesome life you lead, Mr Boyce, I hope to be like you someday.

*salutes*
(The Cat Hater punch a cow for the planet, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:38, Reply)

referring to me calling you dull etc.?
pot, kettle?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:37, Reply)

yes, you called me dull but by doing so repeatedly you're showing yourself to be rather dull

(The Cat Hater punch a cow for the planet, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:39, Reply)

the reason I am doing it repeatedly is in the hope that you will either stop being dull or you will go away
whether that makes me seem dull or not is irrelevant.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:41, Reply)

but if instead of doing that you conversed with me on any other level, played along with the joke or just said anything other than that
maybe it wouldn't be so dull?
(The Cat Hater punch a cow for the planet, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:47, Reply)

played along with what joke?
you could do the same, with the Bert thing.

I was totally serious regarding the spelling/grammar thing, it does happen to everyone.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:50, Reply)

My first few posts on all the boards were 'Fuck Off Cats', everywhere else that stirred up the usual cats v dogs debate
and I did play along with the Bert thing, it's just today the same person corrected my spelling, again, then the whole board got upset when I returned the favour.

You lot are bloody daft
(The Cat Hater punch a cow for the planet, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 16:01, Reply)

Daft is the word
can't totally speak for the others, but I'm rarely serious. I'm pretty certain to myself that you aren't Bert, and you haven't done anything particularly offensive to me.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 16:02, Reply)

only because you were wrong
in most cases.

Yeah, yeah I know I spelled it richoted for some unfathomable reason.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 16:02, Reply)

I was deliberately wrong
I parody people, he corrected me and I was trying to show how silly correcting people on the internet is
(The Cat Hater punch a cow for the planet, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 16:05, Reply)

oh ok I missed that, I thought you were serious
that was why it was so infuriating!
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 16:07, Reply)

I'm going to go and cry now
this has been exhausting, and why become furious at things on the internet anyway?

Jeeeeeez
(The Cat Hater punch a cow for the planet, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 16:09, Reply)

I've been nice to you!

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 16:23, Reply)

I know you have, and I appreciate that, it's not the lack of niceness that I've found weird though, this is B3ta after all.
I don't know what it is, but this place seems a bit off.
I've had small arguments on all the other boards, but I always got the impression that it was done very knowingly and deliberately by all involved. Today has been something quite different to that.
(The Cat Hater punch a cow for the planet, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 16:27, Reply)

ooh, like in Watership Down where the warren seems fine but then it turns out there are snares all around it?

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 16:42, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post854815
(PsychoChomp, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:38, Reply)

that was annoying at first
but worth it.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:39, Reply)

haha
nice.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 8 Sep 2010, 10:10, Reply)

I do.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:36, Reply)

and me
Should it be And I?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:37, Reply)

technically yes
but it sounds lame.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 16:03, Reply)

seriously?
I'm pretty certain he isn't. Prepared to be proved wrong, but I don't think I am.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:38, Reply)

Then there is more than one person
with Bert's personality disorder out there. Heaven help the world.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:41, Reply)

please explain
because from my point of view, you repeatedly called me Bert, repeatedly called me dull and repeatedly corrected my spelling, then got upset when I rose to it.

In what way is that a personality disorder?
(The Cat Hater punch a cow for the planet, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:42, Reply)

the Bert thing was amusing to start with and everyone got called it for a little while
the spelling correction happens to everyone, but most don't take such umbrage. If you paid more attention you would have noticed that.

You get called dull because you are dull. that is not baiting, it is not internet banter, it is the truth. Please stop being dull, or go away.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:44, Reply)

All this cracker nonsense
is just making me want Roota. Where is she and why is she not here?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:45, Reply)

I want to know where you get the authority to call anybody else dull
I've been on 3 other boards, and none of them have been as shit and boring as the few people that seem to have a monopoly over this one
(The Cat Hater punch a cow for the planet, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:46, Reply)

since when did anyone need authority to state an opinion?
if it's that bad, then why are you still here?

unless you are in fact Bert
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:49, Reply)

FFS
I thought I was a troll, but seriously, you lot take the biscuit
(The Cat Hater punch a cow for the planet, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:50, Reply)

Do
close the door on your way out, there's a dear.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:54, Reply)

seriously though, I know the word autism's thrown around this place a lot
but I've a feeling /talk had a point, there is something very wrong with some of the people on this board
(The Cat Hater punch a cow for the planet, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:59, Reply)

If you can't stand the mentals get the fuck out of the asylum
Bye bye Bert. Until you get bored again and miss us, we shall be ready for your next *look at me*
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 16:04, Reply)

I think I will stick to links, board and talk from now on
there is something very wrong about this place
(The Cat Hater punch a cow for the planet, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 16:06, Reply)

wrong

SEXEH!!!!!
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 16:07, Reply)

we're not that bad
maybe we should start again.

I'm Kitty.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 16:09, Reply)

there have been some serious and full-on trolls on here
to the point where I didn't even recognise you as one
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:55, Reply)

he did a massive psycho flounce just before you arrived
and he has made a couple of posts about how much he hates cats, so we were all suspicious.

We've also had a couple of psychos on here recently coming back with fake accounts.

This is how Bobby started, so stick around through the abuse if you can.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:38, Reply)

haha what do you mean started?

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:40, Reply)

Hey! I was never a fake account
Just a twat. There is a subtle but important difference. And I stuck with my twat tag when I could have just gone away and come back as some twunt.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:43, Reply)

I'm only sticking around for the abuse
I don't think most people realise how obtuse and over-the-top they come across online, so if I'm persisting with annoying somebody, it's usually because they've been rude and I'm trying to show them up for being petty
(The Cat Hater punch a cow for the planet, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:41, Reply)

Fuck off Bert.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:43, Reply)

Fair enough
but we don't know you so we don't know what you're like, when you're joking, etc.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 16:11, Reply)

same here

(The Cat Hater punch a cow for the planet, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 16:13, Reply)