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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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I offered to employ my sister as my business advisor when I become a dragon
to stop me investing in ridiculous businesses that I think are funny.

Her first suggestion was to have a range of supermarkets where no children are allowed, her reasoning is that it makes the shopping experience slightly less hellish and would attract rich posh types. I love this idea, I think I will create a whole range of places without kids and top of the list will be a cinema.

What would you like to see? Nil points for breasts or my mum, or my mum's breasts.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 14:50, 204 replies, latest was 16 years ago)
YAY Kitty Thread FTW
Bobbylamehorse for the slaughterhouse.

Oh man now I'll have to repost my picture.. I'll do it in linky form
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 14:51, Reply)
Aww he's deleted it.
Another thread bites the dust.

Dum, dum, dum, dum

Another thread bites the dust.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 14:51, Reply)

Will you just fuck me and get it over with you stripey bastard.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 14:52, Reply)
stripey bastard?
what an interesting insult.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 14:53, Reply)
Will you two just get a room?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 14:55, Reply)
Me and Kitty?
hell yeah
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 14:56, Reply)
Oooh. Sorry.
I meant you and Bob. But yes, this would probably be far more interesting a story.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 14:56, Reply)
no one wants a threesome!
Boring lezzers
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 14:58, Reply)

boring
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:05, Reply)
Badgers are stripey
tenuous but all I've got.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 14:55, Reply)
I was thinking of The Cat In The Hat

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 14:57, Reply)
Jamiroquai?

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 14:59, Reply)
JAYKAY SAYS DANCE!
Oh crap.. only Lab would get that
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 14:59, Reply)

Have deleted mine, was shit, I'm bored.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 14:51, Reply)
I even f5ed right before posting
I think we did this last week too.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 14:52, Reply)
no worries
We must both lose interest in the other threads at approximately the same time.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 14:53, Reply)
Surely you mean
"I'm shit, was bored"
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 14:53, Reply)
You're just mad cause I deleted your picture
you sensitive mental. Wanna hug it out?
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 14:54, Reply)
No thanks
I imagine hugging you would look like this
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 14:55, Reply)
oh my god that well shit me up!

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 14:58, Reply)
if I knew how to make pictures
into blue underlined words I would play this game but I don't so I can't!
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:03, Reply)

Because you are ...
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:07, Reply)
Damn you and you're cutting animated jibes
If you being mean to me didn't give me such raging horn I would be upset. Just you wait til I get someone to teach me your magic then you will be sorr.e
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:10, Reply)

Supermarkets with no over 70's

Cyclists are allowed by LAW to get into work an hour later than everyone else and still get paid full salary. They get rewarded for being green and we can avoid the lycra clad fucks on the road. Everyone wins.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 14:56, Reply)
They can get full salary
But then have wages deducted because being green is for queers.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:04, Reply)
Imagine driving to work in the morning and not having to slow down for them
or look at there horrible man asses. And on the way home you won't care as much as you won't be rushing.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:06, Reply)
no
they can get to work an hour early and not get paid extra
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:07, Reply)
either suits me but I thought an incentive would sweeten the deal

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:10, Reply)
no-one wants to pay money to a cyclist
for nothing. I reckon most people would find it objectionable
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:15, Reply)
Yeah probably but I just want to not have to deal with them whilst driving really
and thought that was a fair solution. Entirely selfishly on my part. Same with horses but I quite like them so.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:19, Reply)
they have that bike to work scheme
where you get your bike cheaper. People won't cycle if they don't like cycling and if they do, chances are they do it anyway.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:20, Reply)
This is a good idea
They might as well give up anyway, for every green loser there's an idiot like me with every light and television in the house on whilst the washing machine is in use on full power for about twenty hours a day whilst I walk around with a boom box on my shoulder blasting out eighties hip hop before I set off in my 4x4 to drive thirty yards to the newsagent just to wind them up.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:15, Reply)
Hello kitty I was hoping for a new thread.
This one has let me down though.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 14:57, Reply)
I'm sorry PC, I'll try harder next time
Would you like a news story to discuss? Would that make you feel better? *pats on head*
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 14:59, Reply)
There's not much interesting in the News today.
There's an interesting comment piece about Pakistan and what the government should be doing to increase international confidence in their government.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:01, Reply)
what about this one?
www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2010/sep/06/train-quad-bikes-inquest

Would you say it was karma or a tragic accident?

And what about the guy who fell off his balcony in Shagaluf? Darwinism or tragic accident?
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:03, Reply)
I'm more in the tragic accident pile.
I don't think people deserve to die for ripping off a shop.
People that do that sort of thing are usually a bit stupid though so it's more likely.
There was also a case in the news about the police not being allowed to give chase to a guy who stole a motorbike because he wasn't wearing a helmet. Later he hit a lorry and died of head injuries.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:06, Reply)
what I don't quite understand is how 4 people were managing to make off with £40k worth of outdoor jackets
on quad bikes
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:11, Reply)

onemansblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/08/most-tshirts-ever-worn-at-once.jpg
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:13, Reply)
I think people who do that are awesome

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:15, Reply)
it could have been
four very expensive jackets.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:17, Reply)
could have had a trailer?

(PsychoChomp, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:17, Reply)
possibly
I need more information!
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:21, Reply)
It doesn't sound like they did, another version of the article mentioned boulder bags
whatever they are.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:32, Reply)
plus karma doesn't exist.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:35, Reply)
I like to think it does
it makes dealing with day-to-day cuntery more bearable. Obviously I know it's bollocks since I'm practically perfect, yet I stub my toe and bang into things more often than is fair.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 16:01, Reply)
I had one about smells but she made me delete it
she is a right cow gazzing me black mail letters
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 14:59, Reply)
racist.

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:01, Reply)
racism lol

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:02, Reply)
she is a right cow that's for sure.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:03, Reply)
meanie

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:03, Reply)
I'll be glad rennets all over.
I knew I'd get it in somewhere.
(Cave Duck, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:09, Reply)
haha you've been waiting all day for that.

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:15, Reply)
Have you been sitting on that since the dairy puns yesterday?
If so, I applaud your tenacity.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:22, Reply)
I avoid children by going to the supermarket in the morning and the cinema in the evening
it's not a 100% foolproof scheme unfortunately.
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 14:57, Reply)
I have started unavoiding children
8/10 times they go down like a sack of potatoes. Then I kick them in the kidneys and run away
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 14:58, Reply)
A kid was running towards me on the pavement the other day and barging people out of the way
so I just stood still. He bounced off my and richoted into a fence. I laughed and the parents scowled at me.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:00, Reply)
Did you stand up straight with your fists on your hips and your elbows out and shout;
"Ha HA HAA, PUNEY EARTHLING! Your weapons are no match for me!"
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:04, Reply)
oh my god I wish I had
I just smirked and carried on walking. I do like to say "you win again, gravity" when I drop things, but I think I'm the only one who finds this funny.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:06, Reply)
Zap Brannigan quotes are always WIN

(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:07, Reply)
this is why I can't say 'velour' in a normal voice anymore.

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:16, Reply)
heh
I do that too
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:18, Reply)
He bounced off your what?

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:06, Reply)
shins
what are you implying?
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:06, Reply)
you wrote "bounced off my and richoted[sic] into a fence"

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:09, Reply)
HAPPY CANDLE DAY YOU BEARDY CUNTSWALLOP

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:15, Reply)
awww fanks!

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:18, Reply)
whoops
Love the [sic], so smug. I CAN@T TIPE GOOT/
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:15, Reply)
I was pleased with it :-)

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:18, Reply)

what does [sic] actually mean?
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:19, Reply)

lmgtfy.com/?q=%5Bsic%5D
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:20, Reply)
I knew that was coming. Ta though for doing the leg work.

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:29, Reply)
I just like using let me google that for you

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:31, Reply)
I've started doing it at work
some people don't take well to it. What happened to a sense of humour eh?
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:33, Reply)
most people are stupid and thick
edit, that's right stupid AND thick
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:45, Reply)
me too
I ask leading questions so someone will ask me what something is
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:33, Reply)
it means when you're quoting something it's not your mistake, that's how it was written
some people argue it's an acronym, some argue it's Latin. I can't remember what the acronym would be, I don't care enough.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:22, Reply)
it's Latin
there's probably a backronym though
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:24, Reply)
I thought it was 'spelled incorrectly'
but I googled before the other guy asked
(The Cat Hater punch a cow for the planet, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:25, Reply)
the other guy
You know who I am Bert you bollock peddler.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:28, Reply)
alright, this is the last time I'll rise to this
why do you think I am Bert?
(The Cat Hater punch a cow for the planet, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:30, Reply)
Shut up Bert

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:31, Reply)
*applauds*

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:31, Reply)
*facepalms*
no one actually thinks you are Bert. Even he wasn't as dull and dense as you are managing to be.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:31, Reply)
http://b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post853597#post853604

(The Cat Hater punch a cow for the planet, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:33, Reply)
BGB doesn't think you are Bert

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:34, Reply)
wait, that was supposed to be http://b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post853604

(The Cat Hater punch a cow for the planet, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:35, Reply)
Your sig is pitiful, Bert.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:37, Reply)
as pitiful as correcting people's spelling mistakes on the internet?
What a wholesome life you lead, Mr Boyce, I hope to be like you someday.

*salutes*
(The Cat Hater punch a cow for the planet, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:38, Reply)
referring to me calling you dull etc.?
pot, kettle?
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:37, Reply)
yes, you called me dull but by doing so repeatedly you're showing yourself to be rather dull

(The Cat Hater punch a cow for the planet, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:39, Reply)
the reason I am doing it repeatedly is in the hope that you will either stop being dull or you will go away
whether that makes me seem dull or not is irrelevant.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:41, Reply)
but if instead of doing that you conversed with me on any other level, played along with the joke or just said anything other than that
maybe it wouldn't be so dull?
(The Cat Hater punch a cow for the planet, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:47, Reply)
played along with what joke?
you could do the same, with the Bert thing.

I was totally serious regarding the spelling/grammar thing, it does happen to everyone.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:50, Reply)
My first few posts on all the boards were 'Fuck Off Cats', everywhere else that stirred up the usual cats v dogs debate
and I did play along with the Bert thing, it's just today the same person corrected my spelling, again, then the whole board got upset when I returned the favour.

You lot are bloody daft
(The Cat Hater punch a cow for the planet, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 16:01, Reply)
Daft is the word
can't totally speak for the others, but I'm rarely serious. I'm pretty certain to myself that you aren't Bert, and you haven't done anything particularly offensive to me.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 16:02, Reply)
only because you were wrong
in most cases.

Yeah, yeah I know I spelled it richoted for some unfathomable reason.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 16:02, Reply)
I was deliberately wrong
I parody people, he corrected me and I was trying to show how silly correcting people on the internet is
(The Cat Hater punch a cow for the planet, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 16:05, Reply)
oh ok I missed that, I thought you were serious
that was why it was so infuriating!
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 16:07, Reply)
I'm going to go and cry now
this has been exhausting, and why become furious at things on the internet anyway?

Jeeeeeez
(The Cat Hater punch a cow for the planet, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 16:09, Reply)
I've been nice to you!

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 16:23, Reply)
I know you have, and I appreciate that, it's not the lack of niceness that I've found weird though, this is B3ta after all.
I don't know what it is, but this place seems a bit off.
I've had small arguments on all the other boards, but I always got the impression that it was done very knowingly and deliberately by all involved. Today has been something quite different to that.
(The Cat Hater punch a cow for the planet, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 16:27, Reply)
ooh, like in Watership Down where the warren seems fine but then it turns out there are snares all around it?

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 16:42, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post854815
(PsychoChomp, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:38, Reply)
that was annoying at first
but worth it.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:39, Reply)
haha
nice.
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 8 Sep 2010, 10:10, Reply)
I do.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:36, Reply)
and me
Should it be And I?
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:37, Reply)
technically yes
but it sounds lame.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 16:03, Reply)
seriously?
I'm pretty certain he isn't. Prepared to be proved wrong, but I don't think I am.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:38, Reply)
Then there is more than one person
with Bert's personality disorder out there. Heaven help the world.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:41, Reply)
please explain
because from my point of view, you repeatedly called me Bert, repeatedly called me dull and repeatedly corrected my spelling, then got upset when I rose to it.

In what way is that a personality disorder?
(The Cat Hater punch a cow for the planet, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:42, Reply)
the Bert thing was amusing to start with and everyone got called it for a little while
the spelling correction happens to everyone, but most don't take such umbrage. If you paid more attention you would have noticed that.

You get called dull because you are dull. that is not baiting, it is not internet banter, it is the truth. Please stop being dull, or go away.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:44, Reply)
All this cracker nonsense
is just making me want Roota. Where is she and why is she not here?
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:45, Reply)
I want to know where you get the authority to call anybody else dull
I've been on 3 other boards, and none of them have been as shit and boring as the few people that seem to have a monopoly over this one
(The Cat Hater punch a cow for the planet, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:46, Reply)
since when did anyone need authority to state an opinion?
if it's that bad, then why are you still here?

unless you are in fact Bert
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:49, Reply)
FFS
I thought I was a troll, but seriously, you lot take the biscuit
(The Cat Hater punch a cow for the planet, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:50, Reply)
Do
close the door on your way out, there's a dear.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:54, Reply)
seriously though, I know the word autism's thrown around this place a lot
but I've a feeling /talk had a point, there is something very wrong with some of the people on this board
(The Cat Hater punch a cow for the planet, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:59, Reply)
If you can't stand the mentals get the fuck out of the asylum
Bye bye Bert. Until you get bored again and miss us, we shall be ready for your next *look at me*
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 16:04, Reply)
I think I will stick to links, board and talk from now on
there is something very wrong about this place
(The Cat Hater punch a cow for the planet, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 16:06, Reply)

wrong

SEXEH!!!!!
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 16:07, Reply)
we're not that bad
maybe we should start again.

I'm Kitty.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 16:09, Reply)
there have been some serious and full-on trolls on here
to the point where I didn't even recognise you as one
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:55, Reply)
he did a massive psycho flounce just before you arrived
and he has made a couple of posts about how much he hates cats, so we were all suspicious.

We've also had a couple of psychos on here recently coming back with fake accounts.

This is how Bobby started, so stick around through the abuse if you can.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:38, Reply)
haha what do you mean started?

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:40, Reply)
Hey! I was never a fake account
Just a twat. There is a subtle but important difference. And I stuck with my twat tag when I could have just gone away and come back as some twunt.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:43, Reply)
I'm only sticking around for the abuse
I don't think most people realise how obtuse and over-the-top they come across online, so if I'm persisting with annoying somebody, it's usually because they've been rude and I'm trying to show them up for being petty
(The Cat Hater punch a cow for the planet, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:41, Reply)
Fuck off Bert.

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:43, Reply)
Fair enough
but we don't know you so we don't know what you're like, when you're joking, etc.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 16:11, Reply)
same here

(The Cat Hater punch a cow for the planet, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 16:13, Reply)
That's fine one at a time
but the little bastards flock together and their fallen bodies block the aisles
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:01, Reply)
Vue started doing Over 18s showings for films like Casino Royale that had a 12 rating but weren't really for kids
it was brilliant.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 14:59, Reply)
They sure have!
I am yet to take advantage of this fabulous idea though
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:02, Reply)
A Post Office that is not crammed full of loitering pensioners...
...or staffed with surly, sour-faced spinsters.
I want a new sexy Post Office.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 14:57, Reply)
what? where Pat oils his naked chest before swinging his bag over his shoulder?
and the postladies all look like supermodels rather than pale marge simpsons?
(I helped save b3ta! zulu eh?, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:00, Reply)
someone needs to shop this.

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:01, Reply)
agreed

(I helped save b3ta! zulu eh?, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:02, Reply)
*looks around*

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:03, Reply)
AND NO WEE-WEE SMELL.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:02, Reply)
or people in tracksuits

(I helped save b3ta! zulu eh?, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:04, Reply)
I was about to make a comment on genocide
when I realised you just meant ban them from the post office, not kill them all and burn their corpses.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:05, Reply)
...

(I helped save b3ta! zulu eh?, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:08, Reply)
that's what he meant

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:16, Reply)
That 'rn' in 'burn' really does look like an 'm'.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:22, Reply)
I'll start saying incinerate
and anally rape
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:24, Reply)
each to their own

(I helped save b3ta! zulu eh?, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:31, Reply)
That does help with the sexeh.
*unless you dig watersports.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:04, Reply)
Indeed
R. Kelly does not want
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:11, Reply)
ban children from:
pubs, restaurants, aeroplanes, shops, the internet, the theatre, pavements, weddings, funerals, the tube, buses, trains and TV.

Will that do as a starting list?
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:01, Reply)

children plebs
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:03, Reply)
I want to have a no children rule at my wedding but Wiggy says it will make me unpopular
I definitely want a restaurant and pub with no kids, that would be fantastic. The whole 'no kids after 9pm' thing is bollocks, no one throws them out.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:04, Reply)
A young couple got married in my village recently and they had a "no kids" rule
but the bride had a small child from a previous relationship.
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:06, Reply)
harsh
did he have to stay at home by himself? Weddings are proper boring anyway, even for us adults and we have drink to make it better.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:17, Reply)
Dunno
it just seemed a bit rich to me
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:23, Reply)
plus especially at a certain age
it makes it difficult for people to attend. Childcare is difficult to organise, especially if you have to travel to the wedding
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:29, Reply)
yeah it's hypocritical if they have their own little shitty spawn there.

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 16:12, Reply)
and kids running around a pub at any time of the day is annoying

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:07, Reply)
Put on the invite...
..."We will not be responsible for anything Uncle Barry does with children still here after 8pm" - you will need to invite a local paedo just to ensure that the rule is enforced.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:07, Reply)
Somewhere on my last US trip - I'm presuming it was Vegas - had a kids curfew.
You didn't have to kick them anywhere. If they were out anywhere after 10.30 they just got arrested.

Genius.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:08, Reply)
10.30am I hope.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:10, Reply)
I'm not sure there is a 10.30am in Vegas.

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:13, Reply)
that's brilliant

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:17, Reply)
ha!
Do they send out the Child Catcher with a big net and truckload of sweets?
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:36, Reply)
You and I
are entirely of the same mind.

Children under 10 should not be allowed to mix with the general public, the little shits.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:06, Reply)
not 10. 18.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:07, Reply)
I've had an idea where supermarkets, for an hour a day, everything is 10% more expensive.
Hopefully it'll weed out the chavs, grannies and family types.

I was in ASDA a few days ago for two hours, as I walked in, there was sick on the floor, it was still there when I left. Then my flatmates went when I got back, and it was still there.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:16, Reply)
that's Asda for you

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:19, Reply)
1. Slip in vom
2. Sustain wussy injury
3. Sue for compo
4. Profit
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:19, Reply)

5. Self loathing.
6. Suicide.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:24, Reply)
How much would I get for breaking what?
I want pure figures here.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:31, Reply)
I suppose it depends on your occupation
I think rachelswipe could provide some hard numbers on this.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:33, Reply)
I perform brain surgery in rocketships.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:35, Reply)
general damages and special damages
basically there is a formula for each body part, which gets updated yearly. it is horrifyingly low, an eye is the most valuable at about £60k per eye.

then you get additional damages on top for loss of earnings, pain and suffering etc etc.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:47, Reply)
They're having a deal on puddles of sick
you get extra clubcard points
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:24, Reply)
and double diced carrot

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:27, Reply)
I used to work at Asda on the customer services when I was a teen
If we needed cash for the weekend we would get someone (a mate) to come in spill bleach on their clothes saying the bottle lid was off and how dangerous it was and give them money for their clothing. Only did it three times in a year and worked everytime.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:30, Reply)
would the cinema still show kids' films though?
admittedly i wouldn't want to watch most of them, but come on, you couldn't deprive people of "shrek".
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:31, Reply)
or Toy Story
edit - as you were
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:33, Reply)
1 & 2 maybe
but after that, Shrek can go and boil his head
(The Cat Hater punch a cow for the planet, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:34, Reply)
Everyone should see The Iron Giant
and most things by Ghibli.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:37, Reply)
I thought the Iron Giant
was utter balls. I liked the book as a small boy.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:39, Reply)
Never read the book so can't compare
but you are wrong about the film.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:46, Reply)
I loved the book too
the film was great if you didn't think of it being connected in any way to the book.
(The Cat Hater punch a cow for the planet, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:49, Reply)
Shut up Stalin!

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:51, Reply)
often the case with that sort of thing
I thought the film was good too.

Was the book called The Iron Giant, or was it the Iron Man?

need to be sure I'm thinking of the right thing.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:56, Reply)
Now you say that it may have been the Iron Man
I'll amazon it.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:58, Reply)
Yeah it was the Iron Man, film is based on the book though.

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 16:03, Reply)
The one with the corn was definitely Green Giant.
I hope this helps.
(Cave Duck, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 16:03, Reply)
I hate you for making me laugh at that

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 16:05, Reply)
You should read it it's pretty great.

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:51, Reply)
I would love to see "Princess Mononoke" or "Castle in the sky" in the cinema

(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:41, Reply)
Me too.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:55, Reply)
Really?
you surprise me sir
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 16:00, Reply)
I am a Japanophile, if such a term exists.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 16:13, Reply)
You like slanty-eyed children?

(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 16:19, Reply)
Prince Philip?

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 16:21, Reply)
I wish I'd gone to see Spirited Away
it was in cinemas the year it won an Oscar.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 16:02, Reply)
I have it on DVD
very good, I find the train scene quite poinant poigniant poig...oh fuck it...EMOTIONAL, I FIND IT QUITE FUCKING EMOTIONAL
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 16:05, Reply)
Speaking of which
have you seen Grave of the Fireflies? That one is heart-rending.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 16:11, Reply)
I just watched The Cat Returns last week
it was my first Studio Ghigli (no idea if that's right) and I loved it.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 16:14, Reply)
Yes
a bit too stressful for my liking
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 16:19, Reply)
I fucking could

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:44, Reply)
yeah it would
I've seen all the recent Disney Pixar ones in the cinema so I would definitely show those too. Animated films contain so many adult jokes now that they're obviously not just aimed at kids.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 16:13, Reply)

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