I think it would be the most erotic thing
since a nice firm bit of sliced bread
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 15:21, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

If we sell it as an audiobook,
I'll find a way to say "sliced bread" that will have gentlemen spaffing spontaneously in their pants and ladies paddling their pink canoe as though they had unexpectedly drifted into white-water rapids.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 15:23, Reply)

Excellent work
do you want to read the audio book all by yourself?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 15:24, Reply)

If you feel you can do it justice, then by all means come into the booth with me
I will not be held responsible for any side effects you may experience in the process.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 15:25, Reply)

It's going to be a bestseller in the world of audio books
though Stephen Fry might be annoyed that his venerable talents have not been put to use
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 15:29, Reply)

I use to read for a charity called newspapers for the blind.
We would hightlight interesting bits of news in the papers and then go into a sound booth to read them and copy onto a load of cassettes.

Then we would go for dinner and get stoned.
( girlinthehole, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 15:29, Reply)

since I'm sure there'll be
an innocent Lancashire lass somewhere in the book, and you have prior experience, do join in
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 15:32, Reply)

I like where this is going.

(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 15:32, Reply)

Seduced by the under-secretary
in a suprise reversal of Lady Chatterly's Lover. Swept off his feet by her powerful arms
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 15:33, Reply)

"Oh, yes," he stammered
as he realised what a superb view of her shapely buttocks he had from the secure position of her fireman's lift.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 15:36, Reply)

This made me laugh far too hard

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 15:38, Reply)

Laugh? Laugh?!?
This is supposed to be EROTIC, woman!
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 15:39, Reply)

Oops I'll remedy that
'Alreet soir," she said huskily. "It woon't be a cup of tea you'll want arfter this." And with that she tossed him down on the grassy meadow and promptly got to work."
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 15:41, Reply)

And get to work she did,
as she fell upon him, caressing and fondling his pasty, delicate frame. Pinned to the ground, he felt his temperature rise, his blood surge.

He wriggled free and, leaping upon her with passionate fervour, yelled "En Garde!" and slapped her back and forth across the face with his engorged tadger. As she moaned in a vaguely sensual way, he murmured
"Oh, you love it, don't you, you dirty bitch?"
She breathed heavily and siad,
"Actually, that's...kind of annoying. I only just washed my hair this morning."
"Oh. Sorry..." he replied sheepishly.
"Just get behind me and give me a good ramming."
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 15:56, Reply)

"With pleasure miss," he said
gratifying her with the delicacy of his address, to one of her low station (hands and knees,) and with the alacrity indeed of one of her father's sheep, thrust himself with close to criminal force and hitting his mark with ease.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 15:59, Reply)

That sounds like a really nice job, actually.
Though I'd have to restrain myself from putting in surprise Brian Blessed impressions halfway through the less exciting stories.

(Or just sneaking some of my and Amberl's erotic novel in there.)
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 15:32, Reply)

It was,
Took me a while to get into the whole hearing yourself taped thing.
( girlinthehole, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 15:45, Reply)

And how often did you succumb to the temptation to slip words such as
"Knackers"
into the recording?
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 15:57, Reply)