weeelll i know nothing about fonts
so i'll just say hi, how are the pants?? and then hijack your thread to tell you of the lolhilarious/incredibly offensive thing that happened to me last night.

couple of nights ago due to an unexpected vodka drinking incident i had to leave my car parked quite a few roads away from where i live. went to retrieve it and someone has kindly scratched it for me. not badly, should polish off, but enough to irritate me. there is also a piece of paper tucked under the windscreen wiper. all it says is: CALL ME and then a mobile number.

oh how nice, whoever scratched it is owning up, i thought. naively. and called it. only to find myself talking to some random bloke with a really heavy accent. eventually, and i mean after about 15 minutes, i managed to establish that it was "juan", the 12 year old till jockey from the BP garage on the a4 where i usually fill up. and he basically said:

"i leave number because i see you always and i think nice car, nice lady, niiiice car, and then tonight i see car, maybe we go for drink sometime in nice car?"

his priorities were so clear that i am not sure whether to laugh a lot or to be absolutely outraged!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 9:51, 8 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

fuck him for his cheek.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 9:53, Reply)

creepy
be outraged and laugh a lot as well
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 9:55, Reply)

He should have scratched his number into the paint.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 9:58, Reply)

Grass the cunt up to Immigration.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 9:59, Reply)

Creepy
some sort of weird points to him though for having balls. Please tell me you withheld your number or you'll never get rid of the cunt.
(berk, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 9:59, Reply)

this would have been wise
dammit
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 10:06, Reply)

you can just block his number if you want.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 10:07, Reply)

Haha
Heeey chica! Moy moy quinto sexy boobies! I like your caaar, choolaaa, hook me up for a drink?
( Kroney, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 10:02, Reply)

I'd take him up on it
after all, its clear from your profile picture that you're a fatbody.
( WormuIus, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 10:13, Reply)

is that even a real noun?
anyway you shouldn't be wasting time looking at my photograph and insulting me. you should be kissing my arse so that maybe i would instruct one of your barristers to give you some money so that you could afford real porn and wouldn't have to look at girls on here for free!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 10:25, Reply)

What What What?

( WormuIus, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 10:34, Reply)

You should have said
"Thank you for the offer, you're very kind, but I couldn't date anybody with your name. You see in my experience, once you seen Juan, you've seen them all."
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 10:24, Reply)