The only thing I'm good at is art but I haven't done any for a very long time : (
*hits self with brick*
( girlinthehole, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 13:01, 2 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

The tate modern would probably pay you a lot for a video of you hitting yoruself with a brick
You could call it "Tribulations of a solo soul through the impassive medium of brick"
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 13:04, Reply)

For my end of year show I had a video of an ex SAS soldier hitting me across the face.
It went down well.
( girlinthehole, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 13:08, Reply)

Hmm
A new neighbour pops round next door to introduce herself, chats to the mother, and notices three kids.

She asks the first one, a little girl, "What's your name?". "Rose." "That's lovely, do you know why?" "Because when I newly born a rose brushed against my head."

Then she asks the second, another girl, "And what's your name?". "Daisy." "Ooh, that's lovely too, why?" "Because when I newly born a daisy brushed against my head."

Finally she asks the little boy "and what are you called?" "BREEZEBLOCK!!!" *belms*
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 13:05, Reply)

A variation
A mother has three children. Rose, Petal and Wardrobe. One day Petal approaches her mother and says "Mum, why am I called Petal?" and her mother replies "Well, when you were a baby, a petal floated in through the window and landed on your pillow". A few days later Rose approaches her mother and says "Mum, why am I called Rose?" and her mother replies "Well, when you were a baby, a rose floated in through the window and landed on your pillow"

A few days later Wardrobe approaches her mother and says "MnnghMnghmnngggh".
( Kroney, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 13:12, Reply)