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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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A duck waddles into Boots...
...and asks for a chapstick.
The assistant puts it in a bag and says "That will be £1.95"
The duck replies "Would you put that on my bill."

Alt Q - 'Twat.' (But that was muttered rather than said.)
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 14:38, 1 reply, 15 years ago)
How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 14:48, Reply)
The process of evolution.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 14:49, Reply)
Poke it's eyes out
and call it stevie wonder
(Bazongaloid, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 14:50, Reply)
Put it in a microwave
till it's Bill Withers.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 14:53, Reply)

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