Cue sledging but here goes.
My father used the word 'smorgasbord' in a conversation with me on the phone about ten minutes ago and I now know that I don't know what smorgasbord means despite having heard it several times in my life.

What words did you have to look up to get the meaning of?

Alt Q: Daddy or chips?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:43, 65 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

A fucking lunch thread at 11.45?
I've had two cups of coffee and an apple so far today.

On the plus side, I get a new bike from my house insurance. My old one wasn't in Brick Lane.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:46, Reply)

It's not really a lunch thread, but I needed an alt.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:48, Reply)

Oh ok
Sorry for the rage. I usually have my lunch late.

Chips.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:54, Reply)

Bitterness
I used to know what it meant but since frequenting B3ta it's come up so often that it's lost all meaning

Alt Q - no idea yet. Have to venture into town at lunchtime so am weighing up various options. Any recommendations? Don't say Subway. Went there yesterday
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:47, Reply)

Get a jumbo sausage supper, with extra salt and vinegar
2 buttered rolls
2 pickles
1 pickled egg
1 turkish delight
1 can of diet coke


job
fucking
done
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:50, Reply)

...from?
You are Gordon Ramsay AICMFP
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:51, Reply)

followed by a cholesterol test for pudding

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:51, Reply)

The turkish delight is pudding
The cholesterol test is done as part of the autopsy
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:55, Reply)

MUNCHY BOX!!!!!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:57, Reply)

:)
Harbringers of doom and fecal impaction. I have never had one myself, but one of the kids in the street has the nickname of Munchy Box, which I find endlessly amusing

Did you go and see Enter the Void yet?
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:59, Reply)

not yet, but 100% definitely will

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 12:05, Reply)

I'm going next Thursday
With the possibility of taking a few of the 500 shrooms i picked at the weekend ;-)
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 12:09, Reply)

Get in there, old son

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 12:13, Reply)

None. I was born with a prodigious vocabulary already in place.
Alt: I like my father, I don't like chips.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:50, Reply)

I had to look up "prodigious" and "vocabulary" and "already" and "with"

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:51, Reply)

prodigious vocabulary

massive buttplug
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:51, Reply)

Obviously we have to test you on this
A delay of longer than 10 seconds replying and I call Wiki

1. Defenestration

You'll be delighted to learn that I am once again in a thoroughly vile mood today
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:54, Reply)

why what's up Flatley?

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:54, Reply)

Nothing new from yesterday
but thank you for asking mate. Nowt that couldn't be solved by burning every Aviva building in Norwich and York to the ground, having first removed the few colleagues of Ms Foxtrot's that I like, and secured her a phenomenally generous redundancy package. And installed another uber-company so that Norwich's economy doesn't completely collapse
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:56, Reply)

I'm pretty certain if you introduce a person of ethnicity to Norwich the entire population
will look slightly puzzled before imploding.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:58, Reply)

You're almost right
imploding chasing them out of town with pitchforks and flaming torches

Impressive Norfolk knowledge there
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 12:01, Reply)

You don't want to know what's 'up Flatley'.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:58, Reply)

I know Michael Flatley can move his legs in a most impressive fashion
but Irish dancing really isn't all that. They only have to dance with the bottom half of their bodies. Straight back, hands on hips, lots of kicking, that's it. No hips, no rib cage, no shoulders, nothing. To become truly good at it is so much easier than it is to be good at Ballroom
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 12:15, Reply)

the art of throwing someone out of a window

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:56, Reply)

I call Wiki
Also, you're not Monty - 0 from 1 for Mr Boyce
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:57, Reply)

I call "being reasonably articulate is part of my job"

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:59, Reply)

I actually have no idea what you do for a living
Am guessing lecturer or translator
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 12:03, Reply)

I am CEO of a communications agency so signing off copy etc goes with the territory.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 12:04, Reply)

I am both impressed
and annoyed that I cannot think of a rejoinder that won't make me look like a petty little man who wishes he earnt more money
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 12:06, Reply)

It's a science, actually.
You get a BSc rather than a BA.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:58, Reply)

You crazy fool.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:58, Reply)

To do it right you've got to calculate angles and trajectories and stuff,
arts students just can't handle it.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 12:02, Reply)

Excellent.
Battered is right and I could have told you that were I not mocking TGB in her thread.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:57, Reply)

I believe you, annoyingly
Please explain the difference between centrifugal and centripedal force
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 12:02, Reply)

pedal pulls to the centre, fugal away from it

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 12:03, Reply)

Do you mean centripetal?
If not, the answer is that you've made one of them up.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 12:04, Reply)

In my defence
I got the term from an XKCD comic that I can't be bothered to look up, my having spelt a word I'd never previously heard of incorrectly is entirely plausible

Fuck this, why am I dabbling in science? Answer me this eye-boy, what, in dancing terminology, does CBM stand for?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 12:07, Reply)

contra body movement

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 12:11, Reply)

Seriously, did you look that up?
I find it very difficult to believe that anyone who hasn't taken Ballroom classes would know that
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 12:16, Reply)

My sister used to be a dancer

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 12:18, Reply)

Obvious question alert
Would I have heard of her?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 12:20, Reply)

No - she gave up years ago.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 12:22, Reply)

Bobblehead is a cunty paedo farce.
Hope that helps.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 12:06, Reply)

Right then, time for jargon
In popular office parlance, what is a "Seagull manager"?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 12:08, Reply)

someone who flys in, flaps around a bit, craps on you, steals your lunch, craps on you again and then fucks off
Typically used to describe management consultants
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 12:10, Reply)

Jesus, you actually know EVERYTHING
Right, how many days does it take Venus to orbit the sun?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 12:11, Reply)

I haven't got a fucking clue
and will be honest about this instead of resorting to Google
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 12:15, Reply)

254
and your honesty is both refreshing and unfamiliar in this environment
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 12:17, Reply)

Right answer this: in 1778 Which country introduced the first state controlled brothels?

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 12:16, Reply)

I have no idea
but I admire you for knowing your audience
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 12:17, Reply)

France.
Next: Chromophobia is the fear of what?
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 12:19, Reply)

colours? hue?

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 12:20, Reply)

Colour. Correct. 1 point.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 12:22, Reply)

Scared of colours?
That would be very inconvenient.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 12:24, Reply)

England?

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 12:18, Reply)

My turn
Which is the highest football league stadium in England.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 12:19, Reply)

Football is shit.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 12:19, Reply)

incorrect, West Bromwich Albion's ground The Hawthorns

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 12:20, Reply)

Didn't they do over your lot AT HOME this weekend?

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 12:22, Reply)

what are you talking about I'm a Bristol Rovers fan. Ummm up the gas?
yeah it was fucking embarrassing. But they played better than us and deserved it.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 12:23, Reply)

Piers Morgan, who is both a cunt and a massive Gooner, once said
"Supporting Arsenal is like datign an Italian woman - you never know what you're going to get but it's bloody exciting finding out"

I would argue that women who occasionally spontaneously combust at home are to be discouraged
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 12:32, Reply)

I knew that!

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 12:47, Reply)

you would bastard!

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 12:51, Reply)

Do you know what an Autohagiographer is? I'll give 20 seconds...

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:57, Reply)

the answer is someone who speaks or writes smugly about their own accomplishments.
Also known as Vipros
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:59, Reply)

hahaha

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 12:10, Reply)