It's been a long time since I've sent one, so I'm not too sure
Due to having a touchscreen, I'm unable to text after a few pints.

I did once send a rather graphic text to my girlfriend of the time, telling her what I'd like to do to her, etc. Her name was Carrie, my sisters name is Cara. I even managed to text it to her house phone. Luckily she realised it wasn't meant for her rather quickly, and deleted it. I didn't realise until she told me a month later.

Alt Q: Nah, that'd mean you couldn't material to have a drunken wank to after a night out.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 16:29, 1 reply, 15 years ago)

I'm so rubbish with being drunk and horny
I'll be all "Oh I am going to do so many dirty things to you when we get home" and then as soon as I get in I just pass out on the sofa with my coat still on, probably snoring a little bit.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 16:31, Reply)

hahahahaha

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 16:33, Reply)

I tend not to get told that sort of stuff until we actually get home
so many a time I have decided to continue an evening with spliffs at a mate's place after being out on the town, little releasing that my mrs is fizzing away.

outrageous
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 16:35, Reply)

fizzing?
that's distasteful.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 16:43, Reply)

I agree
'Frothing' is far more accurate, surely?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 16:45, Reply)

Same with this ex
Once met her after she'd been out with mates, she was insisting she'd been horny all night, wanted me when we got in, she'd rock my world, etc etc.

2 minutes from her house she stops me for a kiss and a cuddle, and falls asleep on me, stood up. Not her greatest moment.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 16:36, Reply)

I wouldn't have thought it possible
but a friend of mine tells a story of falling asleep whilst he and his Mrs were actually doing the deed in the Mediterranean sea.
(Cave Duck, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 16:46, Reply)

that's just dangerous
he could have drowned.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 16:47, Reply)

+in her clunge

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 16:48, Reply)

I do that.
I get them back to mine, and then go: "No, I want to sleep now."
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 16:39, Reply)

I once told Wiggy he could wake me up early for middle of the night sex and I would be up for it
he believed me.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 16:43, Reply)

That's just cruel!

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 16:44, Reply)

In my defence
I full intended to at the time, but obviously at 3am I was well zonked.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 16:48, Reply)

Ahh, fair enough then
I've only ever once woken up in the night, and ended up having sex.

He was very gentle
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 16:54, Reply)

I bet he stroked your face and went "shhh....shhh...go back to sleep"

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 16:55, Reply)

Aye, just wish he hadn't pulled my hair so much
Nah, in reality the girlfriend woke me to go get her a drink, as she'd hurt her ankle. I came back upstairs and she was naked. It's all good
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 17:00, Reply)

One of my brothers friends took a girl back to his
Both knew what would happen, as they got in he nipped to the bathroom to 'freshen up', per se. He got back to his room, and she'd fallen asleep. Gutted, he shifted her so she could sleep comfortably. About 10 minutes later, he's falling asleep, and she wakes up. Both still horny as hell, they go for it again, but they're so tired, they keep falling asleep.

Eventually they give up for the night, realising they've both lost their chance. Before she leaves in the morning, she puts her number in his phone, and invites him to text her when he's next free.

They've now been married 3 years.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 16:44, Reply)

sometimes I wish those stories would end with
"she's now dead, having never known his touch"
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 16:48, Reply)

That sounds more like a Chompy story
Then again, they don't feel his touch due to the gloves
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 16:50, Reply)

Or
"Two weeks later, he found she'd given him AIDS"
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 16:51, Reply)