That's a new one
Sounds like an opening paragraph from a Jackie Collins book. (or whoever the buggery writes erotica for women).

I had a waking dream this morning, I was half awake, and my alarm on my phone wouldn't stop going off. In my dream, it was the countdown on a bomb I was trying to diffuse. It was only after about 5 minutes I realised that the bomb and my phone alarm made the exact same noise, and I snapped out of it. Very odd.

In other news, my sister went into hospital on Friday at 6pm to be induced. The baby finally appeared at 4am this morning. I think she'll want to sleep for at least the next 3 days. She's had a little boy named Noah.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 8:44, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Awesome use of the word 'diffuse' there.
Also, happy uncle... ness.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 8:46, Reply)

Arse.
Cheers!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 8:51, Reply)

Noah sounds a lot like Noel.
Now every time you hear his name, you'll be haunted by an image of my smiling, sunburned face.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 8:53, Reply)

That is mildly concerning
On the upside, I already know someone with a son called Noah (I was very tempted to say 'I know a Noah', but decided against it).

It's Spikeypickle, for those of you who remember him.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 8:56, Reply)

Send him a \o/ from me.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 8:59, Reply)

Shall do

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 9:00, Reply)

They induced her
and it still took 3 days?

FFS, WD40 would have done it quicker than that!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 8:46, Reply)

3 gels it took
I'm not too sure what it means, and that's fine by me
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 8:52, Reply)

I don't know either
But I'd guess it's the fanny equivalent of an enema.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 8:53, Reply)

I texted my brother in law, telling him that if the baby wasn't out by tonight, just take in a plunger and get it yourself
He sent me back a laughing text, my sister also read the message, and sent me a text with *ahem* colourful language.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 8:57, Reply)

You should have given him a calving rope.

( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 8:58, Reply)

Or a hoover

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 8:59, Reply)

Wow!
More than 3 days giving birth? Ayayay!
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 5 Oct 2010, 8:47, Reply)

Who built the ark?

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 8:48, Reply)

Joan.

( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 8:51, Reply)

Angel Gabriel

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 8:53, Reply)

Evan.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 8:53, Reply)