cut a hole in the top of a melon, scoop out the seedy middle and fill it with some alco-punch. Garnish with a crazy-straw and a cocktail umbrella and, wallop, the bearer will look like a tool, but it's a good leveler and novelty talking point. Plus, they can eat the booze sodden fruit as a snack.

warm for 30 seconds in the microwave and insert penis before removing it and re-inserting. Repeat as required.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 20:43, 1 reply, 15 years ago)

30 seconds 750W
20 seconds 850W

Get those mixed up and it's straight to the burns unit and all you'll be left with is a QOTW story that no one will believe.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 20:50, Reply)

I am sure that Cunty-Hanky has a story like this in his collection

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 20:52, Reply)

No doubt

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 20:56, Reply)

A story where his 'friend' did this and then
began-to-scream-in-an-overly-laboured-and-painfully-predictable-wankertastic-metaphorical-manner-with-too-many-hyphens.

And then something to do with the writer being an utter knobend.

But if you don't like it don't read it!
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 21:03, Reply)

ha ha POTD

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 21:07, Reply)

Well, if you think it's shit, I get A LOT of gazzes telling me how great my stories are.
Even though they are badly written, cack-handed attempts at smug self congratulatory 'comedy'.

So if you don't like it, DON'T READ IT.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 21:09, Reply)

The most worrying thing is that he trying to breed apparently. I fear for the future of the human race.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 21:39, Reply)

So I heard
The mind boggles.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 21:43, Reply)