Never Mix Your Drinks
My Grandad always used to say "never mix your drinks", and to a degree that's a valid point.
Never mix anything with Baileys with anything else.
Anyway, this is more or less an excuse to make a massive post about the London Bash, on Thursday night, which I'll do tomorrow, when I'm not so tired.

How to make a tit of yourself to bunch of internet people, and fuck up a first "date"


Er... In summary:
Got on the train at 9.
Opened vodka at 9:30.
Got to London.
Went to a hotel in Russel Square for a meeting and to do a site survey.
Finished working there at 3:40.
More vodka.
Had to get to Waterloo to meet ancrenne for the first time at 3:49.
Ran, fast and hard
Met ancrenne.
Drank a 4-pack of Strongbow, got stopped by the police for "loitering".
Went to pub (The Cove, same as where the Bash was happening).
Had a few drinks.
Went to hotel to drop stuff off.
Had some Red Diesel (cider and black with vodka).
Went to pub.
Met you guys.

~~~~BLACKOUT~~~~

Woke up next to ancrenne.
At this point she tells me that I'd stumbled around the street that night, and been a bit sick in a bin.
When we got back to the room, I'd sat on the end of the bed, and very quietly thrown up a sticky red slime (a combination of cider and black, vodka and stomach juices, as I hadn't eaten anything that day) over myself.
Then passed out.
She'd washed my jeans for me, in the hotel sink, and got an iron to dry them with.
She's fuckin' awesome, that was far above and beyond the call of duty, and didn't seem to phase her at all.
So... Woke up this morning, horrible, horrible hangover.
Spent rest of the day wandering about London with her, during which time we made an illigal protest in Parliment Square and sat in a pub laughing at two old men who kept jumping up from their table to note down the numberplates of passing busses.

So, the moral of the story is not to mix cider with vodka. Or maybe it isn't...

If anyone wants to fill in what happened from the point where I was outside talking to bill, I'd be more than happy...
( Cawl, Sat 21 Jun 2008, 2:27, 61 replies)

sorry...
but I did bum you...
(feedingtimeatthezoo day 1 of his bikini diet started, Sat 21 Jun 2008, 3:42, closed)

heh
You were just as I expected, though a bit more lairy, and I'm attributing that to the booze.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Sat 21 Jun 2008, 9:02, closed)

sounds like a good night
but who's going to pay for ancrenne's therapy?
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Sat 21 Jun 2008, 11:04, closed)

You were just as I thought you'd be
Only you sound just like my friend Leo which is a bit unnerving
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Sat 21 Jun 2008, 11:38, closed)

Morning Ancrenne
How's it going?

Oh and why were you barefoot? I meant to ask you at the time but forgot
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Sat 21 Jun 2008, 11:49, closed)

He he!
You were well spakkered mate. But in a nice way. The arm licking part was only marginally disturbing, but if it makes you feel better, I haven't washed it since...

Oh, and Hi CHCB, Hi Ancrenne! Great to see you both on Thursday, you lovely people. I've missed out on all the other threads that have been going on 'cos I was so knackered last night. So a big *smoosh* to everyone that was there.
*EDIT* Hi Becky - thanks for the fluffy comment!
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sat 21 Jun 2008, 11:49, closed)

Ok....
I'm slightly worried about the huge number of drunk misbehaviour points that you've got to play with now...
( Cawl, Sat 21 Jun 2008, 11:53, closed)

Ancrenne
Yep, she'l be there in August. With fucking bells on!
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sat 21 Jun 2008, 11:55, closed)

I'll be on
Better behaviour in August.
( Cawl, Sat 21 Jun 2008, 11:57, closed)

It was only when we
walked into the second bar/stripjoint that I noticed you were sans shoes and was thinking WTF?

I can't bear shoes either, but there's too much nastiness on the floor outside for me to go barefoot.

Morning Davros :)
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Sat 21 Jun 2008, 11:58, closed)

I wouldn't worry
She'd probably find it hysterically funny.

Right, best be off. Can't sit here typing all day you know!

Byeeeeeeee!
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sat 21 Jun 2008, 11:59, closed)

But the vodka for breakfast
Was needed.
Because I had to go on the Undergound.

And it was so worth it to see the man sitting opposite me's expression.

EDIT: We went to a strip bar?
Why can I not remember that?
( Cawl, Sat 21 Jun 2008, 12:02, closed)

Ok
so it wasn't but judging by the interior it REALLY looked like one. And they didn't have cute bar staff. Hence I buggered off
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Sat 21 Jun 2008, 12:08, closed)

Oh...
I remember the doorman of the Cove not letting you in.
And then not batting an eyelid when I winked at him as you walked up the stairs with me.

I only remembered about the second bar when ancrenne told me about it.
( Cawl, Sat 21 Jun 2008, 12:10, closed)

Hmmm...
See, what I don't remember is having more than two drinks.
I also didn't take any money out.
So who bought me drinks, so I know who to thank next time?
( Cawl, Sat 21 Jun 2008, 12:20, closed)

He was
scowling at me later on when I was jumping on a chair with Bert. Bet he regretted letting me in LOL.

I think it was somewhere around 11.30ish Ancrenne as I left not long after

I bought you cider Kaol
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Sat 21 Jun 2008, 12:21, closed)

Next time my pretty
enjoy your festival

I'll probably be on here most of the day as I'm determined to get all of these tracks uploaded for my mate (hard drive erased) and it's taking aaaaages.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Sat 21 Jun 2008, 12:27, closed)

In that case
Thank you very much for the cider *grins*

Also, you're lucky I didn't snog you :p

I've gotta get my stuff together, find a clean shirt and have a shower, I'm running a bar from 1 to 1 today, so I won't likely be online later.

*waves*
( Cawl, Sat 21 Jun 2008, 12:29, closed)

Kaol=muppet
the end.

EDIT: Bye ancrenne! Lovely to meet you!
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Sat 21 Jun 2008, 12:30, closed)

Oh...
What did I do to you then MM?
( Cawl, Sat 21 Jun 2008, 12:31, closed)

Nothing
I've even been defending your face rape. But the above events justify my comment.
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Sat 21 Jun 2008, 12:32, closed)

agrees
Kaol you are a muppet, albeit a loveable one.

*waves to MM*
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Sat 21 Jun 2008, 12:33, closed)

Fair point...
MM, did I give you the present?
Or is that something I lost while drink?

I guess "muppet" is better than "wanker", so... *shrugs*
( Cawl, Sat 21 Jun 2008, 12:33, closed)

I have my prize
it is sitting on my kitchen table
*beams*

*waves back to becky*
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Sat 21 Jun 2008, 12:34, closed)

See, that alone was worth
You coming for...

Either of you know how I managed to slice my finger open?

Also, did I steal fags from either of you?
( Cawl, Sat 21 Jun 2008, 12:36, closed)

No
and no.

I didn't realise quite how drunk you were TBH
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Sat 21 Jun 2008, 12:37, closed)

Oh...
Yeah, I'm quite good at hiding how drunk I am.
I blame my parents for that one...
( Cawl, Sat 21 Jun 2008, 12:38, closed)

The face rape should have given it away
but I'd never met you and didn't know if it was just an Essex greeting or summat
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Sat 21 Jun 2008, 12:40, closed)

I assume I didn't do it to you...
It's funny when I do it to guys, but a little horrible if I do it to women.
Not that it's something I've done before.
Ever.
( Cawl, Sat 21 Jun 2008, 12:42, closed)

One album down
12 to go. I'm off for a wander to find chocolate
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Sat 21 Jun 2008, 12:43, closed)

No you didn't
For which I am eternally grateful (no offence)

@becky - see you in a bit.
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Sat 21 Jun 2008, 12:45, closed)

Exactly...
I'm glad I hang onto some moral, no matter how much I have to drink.
I'm off to work now, speak to you soon, bye!
( Cawl, Sat 21 Jun 2008, 12:52, closed)

Tata
.
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Sat 21 Jun 2008, 12:53, closed)

Hello!
I don't have a hangover today. But the sticky red slime made me feel sick.

My abiding memory of Kaol (aside from being a stand-up blokey) is the fact that he showed me his knife (not his penis) in the pub. He even made me hold it (not his penis).

Then, when he was closing the knife, he cut his finger. And, soon after, he licked my hand.

*daydreams*

What a guy! :)
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Sat 21 Jun 2008, 12:55, closed)

drunk misbehaviour credits
Ancrenne may just have settled her drunken karma overdraft.
(Rich T has a clever and witty sig, Sat 21 Jun 2008, 13:06, closed)

* click *
coz Ancrenne's a star, and coz Kaol's worthy of Ancrenne's sterling service.

Afternoon everyone.

* is still sad for missing out *
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Sat 21 Jun 2008, 13:09, closed)

Afternoon Mr.
You did miss a good night, but there's always August. Or any other that's been organised.

Oh, and my meeting on Friday was an utter waste of my fucking time. And consequently, that of taxpayer's money.

Still, I got pissed the night before with some top people, which more than compensates.

MM and GMF, I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to chat more, but I agree with Becky's summation of you both :-). Same for Bert and Enzyme (Enzyme's carnation was very fetching). Ancrenne, you are a legend indeed, Kaol - nice coat and a great line in licking; Becky's a star. CHCB - always a pleasure to be in your company, Al's a top bloke, Wanderlust and Gayer - you recognised me as I walked in and pointed me in the right direction - thank you. Bill and the Wookie - good, solid blokes, both of you. Devil-in-Tights - go for it (a view echoed by many).

Ah, fuck it - you're all brilliant. Have a gold star all of you. And thanks ever so for coming and making my stay a pleasure.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sat 21 Jun 2008, 13:16, closed)

'noon DG
Will be at the July one and also most of the subsequent ones, but now that you've all met up in the real world, I'm nowt but text on your screens.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Sat 21 Jun 2008, 13:21, closed)

Just popped in to say...
fab story Kaol, and I work very near Russell Square, so next time you're there for a meeting, tell me. Spending the afternoon getting told off by plod for loitering sounds like much more fun than work!

Oh, and come to Exeter!
( thealternativefact, Sat 21 Jun 2008, 13:26, closed)

noon clendrix
* hugs for also not being at the bash *
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Sat 21 Jun 2008, 13:32, closed)

*hugs back*
What's even worse for me is that I have to miss the August one too!

Still, we'll always have Exeter...
( thealternativefact, Sat 21 Jun 2008, 13:34, closed)

To Exeter
* raises glass of Spunkchup *
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Sat 21 Jun 2008, 13:46, closed)

@Kaol
Hahahahahahahahahahahahah!



Sorry, but that's so funny.


There but for the grace of God go I.
( girlinthehole, Sat 21 Jun 2008, 14:15, closed)

noon BGB
* raises another glass of Spunkchup *
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Sat 21 Jun 2008, 14:22, closed)

@mistaspakkaman
Hello there : )


I'm just off the have my afternoon Saturday nap. One of my guilty pleasures from a past qotw. I don't need to have a nap, I just have one because I can.
( girlinthehole, Sat 21 Jun 2008, 14:27, closed)

Hi BGB
Just replying to e-mails and doing a bit of work while keeping b3ta on in the background.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Sat 21 Jun 2008, 14:31, closed)

activity update
baking bread
cleaning flat
conversing with flatmate
getting ready to host dinner party* tonight


*not as high class as it sounds**

EDIT: **in fact, not high class at all!
( thealternativefact, Sat 21 Jun 2008, 14:38, closed)

Didn't know there was a bash on
otherwise I would have gone, as I happened to be down Lahndan yesterday.
(Half of Stephen Fry's right buttock pissed on your dog on, Sat 21 Jun 2008, 16:45, closed)

It was Thursday, Mr Half Buttock
Apparently they all had a great time.

*sulks*
( thealternativefact, Sat 21 Jun 2008, 16:47, closed)

'noon all
It was an ace evening. CHCB has posted some photos on Flickr, there's a link on one of the other long threads, don't ask me where though.
(Bazongaloid, Sat 21 Jun 2008, 16:51, closed)

Go to calendar...
and there's a link to Flickr on there.

Great pics.
( thealternativefact, Sat 21 Jun 2008, 16:57, closed)

Quick question:
Is there anyone on here who's good at using photoshop please?
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Sat 21 Jun 2008, 18:28, closed)

aye
unless it involves detailed and delicate mouse clicks - I have hand tremors and can't do much in terms of precision.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Sat 21 Jun 2008, 19:02, closed)

Cheers CHCB
I've managed to fix it myself :)
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Sat 21 Jun 2008, 19:09, closed)

.
.
Chat continues here, here and here
.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 23 Jun 2008, 1:20, closed)