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This is a question One Night Stands

Freddie Woo says: "I was young and desperate, she was older, divorced and was sick on me. Seemed an acceptable criticism at the time." Tell us about your one night stand disasters, or lie about your triumphs.

(, Thu 13 Mar 2014, 16:05)
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One Night in Hong Kong
A couple of years ago I went on holiday to Hong Kong. One night I ended up in a bar and pulled a Filipino bird. We got a taxi back to my hotel. By that time of the night I was pretty drunk and knackered. Not wanting to disappoint her, during the taxi ride back to my hotel I popped a little blue pill I'd picked up from a "traditional" Chinese pharmacy just in case of this situation occurring.

We got back to the hotel and got down to business. She was young, lithe and would've easily got my soldier standing to attention without the medicinal aid I'd used regardless of how drunk I was. Eventually she left, she was a domestic helper and had to return to her employers ready to start back at work the next day.

Being rather sweaty now after the fun we'd just had, I decided to clean myself up. I went into the bathroom, ran the taps and jumped in the tub. Unfortunately by this point the drunkenness combined with the relaxing-ness of the hot bath meant I quickly found myself needing the toilet. Adding to that I was still sporting an erection that would put a horse to shame well... long story short, I pissed in my own mouth.
(, Thu 13 Mar 2014, 22:53, 13 replies)
That was rubbish.
Sorry, but it was.
(, Thu 13 Mar 2014, 23:02, closed)
as a 'pissing in my own mouth' story goes
it wasn't that bad
(, Fri 14 Mar 2014, 11:03, closed)
Much as I enjoy the whole "pissed in my own mouth" meme,
I can't really get over the fact that an erection is generally an impediment to pissing.
(, Thu 13 Mar 2014, 23:35, closed)

(, Fri 14 Mar 2014, 9:58, closed)
Oh my.

(, Fri 14 Mar 2014, 11:59, closed)
I miss the correctly spelt Ringo.
You could rely on him to come running to defence of any liar, perv or nonce you were mocking.
(, Fri 14 Mar 2014, 12:22, closed)
Serious business,
this "internet".
(, Fri 14 Mar 2014, 19:21, closed)
See ... I don't really understand telling obvious lies on th'internet.
And I deffo don't understand defending those lies when people point out the obvious holes.

But to jump in and defend somebody else's obvious lies ... that's just fucking odd.
(, Sat 15 Mar 2014, 11:02, closed)
This might explain the original lies..
(, Tue 18 Mar 2014, 22:05, closed)
And that joke
about the man being granted three wishes by a genie definitely didn't happen either it's all a conspiracy I tell ya
(, Fri 14 Mar 2014, 11:03, closed)
I get my kicks above the waistline, sunshine.

(, Fri 14 Mar 2014, 12:29, closed)
Oh, very clever, nicking my post. Well done, Murray Bloody Head...

(, Tue 18 Mar 2014, 1:09, closed)
Hope you paid her?
Domestic Helpers earn pitiful amounts of money in HK and you should have given her at least HK$1000 for her time. Just for reference you didn't pull her...
(, Sat 15 Mar 2014, 10:16, closed)

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