Bonk
My girlfriend and her mate were strolling into Norwich city centre one fine afternoon. When waiting to cross a fairly major road, a big old truck coming down the hill last control, and started coming toward them.

In true movie tradition, instead of darting out of the way, they stood there screaming as the truck skidded, expecting death.

Instead, the truck hit the traffic light they were standing next to, which now started to fall on top of them, screaming was resumed as the big black bastard descended, expecting at least serious injury.

As fortune would have it, the traffic light stopped just above them, presumably tethered by the concrete base, and they breathed a collective sigh of relief.

Then one of the circluar plastic casings that house the individual lights fell off, and bonked my missus on the noggin.
( SigmaX0 Dear Die Hard. You rock!, Thu 5 Aug 2010, 10:09, 10 replies)

Racist.
(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Thu 5 Aug 2010, 10:15, closed)

Pfft, sounds like something out of Wile E Coyote.
(I have been known to refer to stubborn bin liners as 'black bastards' before; in retrospect I'm glad no-one was really listening.)
( Bob Todd whee, Thu 5 Aug 2010, 10:16, closed)

They went into a bar for a drink to calm their nerves
but the door was just painted on.
( SigmaX0 Dear Die Hard. You rock!, Thu 5 Aug 2010, 10:21, closed)

My boyfriend used to
refer to the cat as 'That black and white bastard', makes me giggle.
( bland is bland, Thu 5 Aug 2010, 12:32, closed)

i can top that
my dad had a big black cat called laveric, he was never called by this name though, instead he was called things like : Nigger, Nig-Nog and Wog. actually didn't notice the racism after a while until a friend came round and was shocked by the voice of my dad in the other room shouting that Nig-nog was at the window and wanted to come in.
(That Random Guy, Thu 5 Aug 2010, 15:43, closed)

I once had a cat I called Mog
he'd originally been called Mig-Mog by his first owners.

He was very large and black. The wife called him Mig-Mog. The husband actually called him Nig-Nog out of her earshot.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 5 Aug 2010, 16:00, closed)

A lovely image
of scream, phew, scream, phew, "bonk".
(Smale is stuffed, Thu 5 Aug 2010, 11:37, closed)

That's the soundtrack...
....to me playing night time hide and seek with passing vict....women.
(NoveltyCondomHead Clanks Wams., Thu 5 Aug 2010, 12:14, closed)

Its like...
A slapstick version of Final Destination

*click*
(EvilMeister, Thu 5 Aug 2010, 12:14, closed)

deaths way of saying "next time cunty chops"

( prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Thu 5 Aug 2010, 16:55, closed)