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This is a question Things You Still Can't Do Properly Despite Being a Proper Grown Up

An Inflatable Bearded Whumpus asks "What can't you do properly despite the fact you're a fully grown and responsible adult?"

Nothing instills confidence more than overhearing a builder on the site opposite muttering "Righty-tighty, lefty-loosey" to himself.

Basically, stealing the idea from this thread on reddit.

(I helped save b3ta! chthonic, Mon 2 Feb 2015, 10:13)
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A horse walks into a bar
The barman says "This is a clear breach of the Food Hygiene Act 2006. Does anyone know whose horse this is? Maybe if we offer it some Cheesy Wotsits we can coax it outside again"
(I helped save b3ta! cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Mon 9 Feb 2015, 23:01, 11 replies)
At which point the horse says:
'Fuck off and get me a drink you humourless cunt.'
(zebideedoodah likes florence but prefers venice, Mon 9 Feb 2015, 23:36, closed)
sorry, I'll amend this story
A horse walks into a bar

Oh, how the bartender laughed!
"Look!", he cried clutching his sides in paroxysms, "A horse! In the bar!"
(I helped save b3ta! cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Tue 10 Feb 2015, 1:05, closed)
Oh, that old chestnut.

(I helped save b3ta! edjogs Collared doves are shit., Tue 10 Feb 2015, 8:57, closed)
You're such a mare.

(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 10 Feb 2015, 10:53, closed)
A horse walks into a bar in Kesgrave.
Everyone takes turns fucking it up the arse.
(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 10 Feb 2015, 9:45, closed)
^^This isn't a joke, it's the front page of the East Anglian Daily Times.

(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 10 Feb 2015, 10:00, closed)
The next right-hand page features 'Dolly, 7, from Edinburgh'.

(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 10 Feb 2015, 10:03, closed)
Barman says "I've got a drink that's named after you."
"What...Dobbin?"
"No, Red Rum!"
"Well you're an idiot. You even believe I can talk."
(I helped save b3ta! edjogs Collared doves are shit., Tue 10 Feb 2015, 12:46, closed)
It couldn't say much due to being small, right?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 10 Feb 2015, 14:09, closed)
Did it have a 12 inch penis?

(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Tue 10 Feb 2015, 14:36, closed)
Had it heard of Ku Klux Knievel?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 10 Feb 2015, 14:46, closed)

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