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This is a question Lies that got out of control

Ever claimed you could speak a foreign language to impress friends, colleagues and/or get laid? Make a twat of yourself - and I couldn't possibly comment - saying you were the godson of the chairman of BP? Tell us how your porkies have caught up with you

(Thanks to augsav and Sandettie Light Vessel Automatic for the suggestions)

(, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 13:03)
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I was at a festival a few years ago
and one of the girls we were with had arthritis, so she was allowed a wheelchair. Her arthritis wasn't so bad that she couldn't walk at all, but long queueing, etc., was painful for her. We mostly used this wheelchair to smuggle booze into the arena as they never checked her.

One night in the arena she had already gone back to the tent but had left us the wheelchair full of booze. One of my perfectly abled friends was sitting in it when it started to rain. He got up to go and get a beer and asked me to sit in the chair so it wouldn't get wet, which I did.

Whilst I was sitting and quietly enjoying the music, a really drunk guy stumbled over, didn't see me sitting down, and fell fully across my lap. Suddenly, a cavalry of nearby lads leapt over to save what they saw as this poor disabled girl from being trampled by some oaf. They yanked the guy off me and threw him away somewhere before running back to me and checking if I was ok. I didn't want to dampen their heroics so I let them believe they had rescued me and were all wonderful human beings, karma would surely reward them for their good deeds.

At this point, my friend came back with his beer and told me to get out of the chair.

"I can't" I whispered.

He repeated his order more forcefully that I vacate the chair. I pleaded with him that if he could just wait until these lads had left then he could have his chair back.

He wasn't having any of it, so he grabbed the handles and tipped me bodily out of the chair and onto the floor. The ground was a bit muddy so, forgetting myself, I leapt to my feet and jiggled around like Michael Flatley trying brush the mud and grass off. As I was doing this I looked up to see the group of heroes all scowling at me.

"Er....it's a miracle?" I ventured.
(, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 13:23, 11 replies)
I was expecting the lads who rescued you to suddenly beat the crap out of the dude that tipped you out of the wheelchair!!

That IT Crowd episode also sprung to mind reading this :)
(, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 13:30, closed)
yeah I thought that as I was writing it
maybe I should have played dead and got him a kicking for making me muddy.
(, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 13:37, closed)
"I'm disabled!"
comical ep that :D

and *click* for story too
(, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 14:03, closed)
'.....Leg disabled'
and a *click* for the story, too. nice one!
(, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 16:38, closed)
(, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 14:33, closed)
why have I not heard that story before in all the years i've known you??
And who was it? (I need to take the piss!!)

P.s even though I didn't know it was you till I scrolled down, I had a feeling 'i know someone like that!'
(, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 19:16, closed)
I don't think you know the lad involved
he's one of the ozzie crew. The one who got a new face because he didn't like his old one.
(, Tue 17 Aug 2010, 15:52, closed)
A click for you...
... A very good yarn indeed!
(, Tue 17 Aug 2010, 13:17, closed)
Particularly good!
Clicks for you.
(, Tue 17 Aug 2010, 13:25, closed)
You get a click because...
...this reminds me of the time my mum pretended to be disabled to get a front row seat at a Tom Jones gig.
(, Tue 17 Aug 2010, 13:30, closed)
that's full of win

(, Tue 17 Aug 2010, 15:52, closed)

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