*snarl* much anger I sense in me...
I apologise in advance for ranting as I am a lady and ladies' hormones do affect them in certain ways. But then I guess this is the point of the question, so I suppose I'm not sorry.

- First and foremost, and most obviously, stalkers: at the moment Stalker Girl from the Stalked QOTW is making my life exceptionally awkward by having suddenly decided to start acknowledging my existence again and no amount of ignoring will stop it, to the point where as much as I try to block her out I still get "Hiiiiiii!" followed by her life story whether I want it or not, usually full of how wonderful her "boyfwiend" is and how happy she is. Does wanting to say "die in a fire" to her make me a bad person? Also judging by the last time I told someone I hoped they died it happened.

- Secondly, text speak and email speak - anyone over the age of 13 who still uses any of the following: u, 2, 4, dat, dem, dis, da, ur, or otherwise type as though they have trouble dressing themselves, should be culled, or rigged up to an electric shock keyboard to program it out of them before they are allowed on the internets.

- In conjunction with this, people who ignore my MSN statuses when I say I am away from my lappy or I am busy, I might actually be either away from my lappy or busy with something, and if so, do not bother me with your inanities, particularly if you can't string a sentence together without netspeak.

- Passive-aggressive guilt trips - again, Stalker Girl used to be a master at this; any time she found out I was going to the pub with anyone other than her "well think of me, alone and upset and surrounded by sharp objects..." would land in my inbox.

- Drama of all kinds - you know, people who incessantly enjoy stirring everything up either for their own amusement or because they have issues with someone - if that's the case, talk to them, don't put some kind of mad overdramatic jihad on them. Emo MSN screen names included. Mine doesn't count, it's in Latin and no one but me knows what it means.

- Online "fandoms" - I guess I ask for a lot of this by having a LiveJournal, so it's inevitable that once in a while I'm going to come across someone who believes that two random Harry Potter characters are secretly in love and write endless stories about their secret sexy time. Case in point: Stalker Girl's epic fanfiction, featuring herself made sexy at the centre of a ridiculously over-the-top underage rapefest, and ultimately being impregnated by her own father. Hellooooo, daddy issues. The fact that if it exists, you can find pr0n of it on the internet has scarred me for life several times (Top Gear slash? Why? In the name of all that is holy, why?)

- Clipboard people in the street - Canterbury is very prone to these, unfortunately, and so far the most useful method I've found is either to use the very small amount of totally nonsensical Welsh I know how to say, or else to turn the iPod up as loud as it goes for a short period of time and just blindly ignore them. I came unstuck like this in Pervland when on pretending to speak no Italian the guy rumbled me and spoke to me in English-for-retards and wouldn't let me go till he'd gone through all his sales talk, finishing with "do you understand?" and then me telling him that while it's terrible that there are little babies with teh AIDS, I am a poor student who is scraping by in Italy (not true, I was paying €100 a month for my accommodation and while it was crap, I had plenty of money to spend on random stuff like pizza and shoes and trips to Rome and internets). I neglected to say I was already feeling both upset and murderous, having just had a most traumatic afternoon, but that was enough to get him to leave me alone.

- People who abuse animals - a story about a woman who let her Alsatian starve to death came up on my BBC news feed a little while ago and it made me cry. (Animal Hospital used to reduce me to tears regularly, too.) They should all be forced to live in the cunty shack before being put on spikes, along with child murderers, sex offenders, paedos and the Pussycat Dolls.

- Chavs. Chavs chavs chavs chavs. Especially the ones who think it's amusing to call you a 'hobbit' or a 'midget'. I am not a midget, I am just naturally short, like you are naturally pants on head retarded and ugly. Another problem apparent in Canterbury.

- Searching for jobs - I am preparing to take my finals at uni and need part-time work for the time being, extending to full-time once my exams are finished next month. However I was silly when I was at school and preferred spending my weekends slacking off and doing homework to getting a Saturday job like the troglodytes in my year so I am lacking in experience, which puts employers off. How though am I meant to get experience if no one will hire me?

- People who assume because I watch anime, I automatically watch hentai, because all anime is hentai, apparently. No. Just no. If I did watch hentai, I would not admit to it in polite company or at all even, but the principle is the same. No.

- Rap.
( Maladicta, Fri 2 May 2008, 1:21, 15 replies)

phew!
What a highly articulate ouburst Vyvvian, I just hope she wasn't watching.

Animal abusers need the same thing happening to them only 10 times worse because they should know better.
(Lurkaloid awarded wanking black belt on, Fri 2 May 2008, 1:27, closed)

Call me dense, or sleepy, but
who wasn't watching?
And yes, animal abusers deserve human-inflicted karma. It makes me want to become a batty old animal lady and care for them all.
( Maladicta, Fri 2 May 2008, 1:39, closed)

text speak
is the devil's shorthand. if i see a post written in text speak, i will make a conscious decision to ignore it. it's laziness and stupidity personified.
(LIMES, Fri 2 May 2008, 2:14, closed)

Rap??
But why should rap fall under your vitriol? True, a lot does sound like a south bronx mule being rubbed with a blender but I defy you to not slap your leg or tap your feet or whatever you kids are into thee dys when watching moogs and elementals tea rap video. Its called 'cup of brown joy' and twas in last weeks newsletter and was called "all the awesome" by someone i believe.

(i am not actually moog or elemental, for the record. just a bit of a fan.)

that is all
(Formaly Over say's hello, Fri 2 May 2008, 2:15, closed)

@ unloved
I'm not sure why I have such a violent dislike of rap, I just know it doesn't appeal to me and never has - case in point, Goldie Lookin' Chain and their ilk.
( Maladicta, Fri 2 May 2008, 2:20, closed)

@ SmashMonkey
Infuriatingly enough there is one person on my MSN list who also doesn't know that Busy or Away mean I am either busy or not at my laptop and she types using all the words I mentioned there "ooo u appear 2 b away lol". Drives me mental.
( Maladicta, Fri 2 May 2008, 2:21, closed)

*Clicks*
For the Canterbury bloody chuggers.

I'm sick of being approached and propositioned by a trustafarian fifteen year old who starts by saying, "Hello pretty lady" before he launches into his set text on why I should hand over my pennies to his charity for dead socks.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 2 May 2008, 10:27, closed)

...
TOP GEAR SLASH?! What the hell?

And in defense to Goldie Lookin' Chain they are a piss take band.
(lei, Fri 2 May 2008, 10:41, closed)

@ chickenlady
They are the bane of my very existence and have a lot to do with why I very rarely venture into town these days (well, that and work is taking over my life so the only fresh air I get is walking to and from the library). It's when they actually reach out to stop you and say "got time for a chat?" that I hate.
( Maladicta, Fri 2 May 2008, 12:29, closed)

@ lei
True, but GLC do embody everything I think is wrong with the musical industry, after all satire is a difficult concept for the average chav to grasp...

Yes, there is Top Gear slash out there. I have not seen it, but I know there are communities devoted to it. And I thought the traumatising dream about Jeremy Clarkson I had was bad enough...
( Maladicta, Fri 2 May 2008, 12:31, closed)

If it's out there
someone has written porn of it. Probably badly-written porn, too.

The idea that anyone can make anything cringe-inducing has been confirmed for me by the revelation of a community for furries who are into martial arts. Martial arts. Furries.

. . .don't the costumes make that a bit difficult? I want to ponder it and yet my brain refuses.
(louveciennes , Volvospotter, Fri 2 May 2008, 18:25, closed)

@ louveciennes
I've long since given up trying to understand furries. Who came up with the concept? Why? What is the point of drawing a squirrel with manly or womanly parts and making it have sex with another squirrel or a fox or a badger or a moose?
( Maladicta, Fri 2 May 2008, 19:24, closed)

Stalkers...
I don't know how you put up with someone like that stalkergirl, I'm so glad that I can be so intensely annoying that I can be left alone when I want to be.

And msn statuses? I'll go away for 10 minutes or play a fullscreen game, come back and there's a big long list of messages varying from "where are you?" to "why aren't you talking to me?" and finally ";_; I hate you!" all because they cannot understand that I am not bolted to my PC when on msn messenger. Cue phonecall to get me out of the doghouse -_-
(Brigadier Arthur Charles, Mrs, Sat 3 May 2008, 1:15, closed)

@ Brigadier
I try very hard not to have anything to do with Stalker Girl, but she really is denser than a very dense thing; if you took someone off your Facebook friends, blocked them on MSN, ignored their emails till you blocked them too, ignored their texts, phone calls and every other attempt to make contact, then moved to Italy for six months without a word of contact before spending an entire six months on top of that blanking them every time you saw them, would you think they'd get the hint? No.

I actually change my status whenever the girl I mention not wanting to talk to is online and I don't feel like deciphering her chavspeak; she also sees Stalker Boy regularly as he is doing some kind of internship back at our old hated school - well, I hated it, he loved it - in order to gain some marks from uni...
( Maladicta, Sat 3 May 2008, 1:50, closed)

Work
I had a real problem with finding a job after I left uni. Everyone wanted experience, and there were no jobs offering the experience to get the better jobs. What's the point of working for 3 years and getting in debt if your degree only gets you supermarket work? Grrr.
(pacman_40 Pocket Kleenex: for the wanker on the go, Mon 5 May 2008, 0:48, closed)