A certain popular author.
One thing, the one thing that's guaranteed to make my blood boil is a certain hack children's author by the name of JK Rowling.

Is it because she's richer than Midas, yet wants to sue someone for putting together a database?

Is it because she tries to play the "plucky single mother" card, when she's the most middle class person on the planet?

Could it be that I dislike her because the current Education Authorities have put her first book on the A-Level syllabus?

Maybe it's because she made millions by ripping off better authors?

Boarding School? Enid Blyton. Ancient ethereal evil searching for rebirth? Tolkien. Wise old wizard who finally sacrifices himself to save the young hero? Obi Wan Kenobi. Plucky yet neglected young orphan? Big book of easily-identifiable characters. Ginger loser and bossy pre-teen female? Aforementioned big book.

Is it her cringeworthy puns? Diagon Alley?

Is it her eye for endless fucking merchandising opportunities that would put Krusty the Klown to shame?

Is it the "Adult Covers" so that fuckwits can look intelligent on the train as they desperately try to hide the fact they're reading a book for ten year olds?

No. It's because she looks like a cross between negligent MILF Kate McCann, and a cracked leather sandal.

(Edited due to improper spelling. Damn me)
(Psycorp603, Fri 2 May 2008, 13:49, 10 replies)

I still think she's reasonably hot
and that she deserves every farthing she's got- after all, she did the one thing that I never thought I would see happen in my lifetime.

She got an entire generation of kids to READ.

As for suing that jackass- she only did so when he tried to publish the database and make money from it. Had he merely left it as an online reference he would have been fine- she gave it her blessing, even. It was the money-making part of it that got her riled up, as it should.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Fri 2 May 2008, 13:58, closed)

Its certainly not her fault
the public are a bunch of consumer monkeys and bought the shit she peddled.

hang on, i own the first 4. fucksocks!
(Halfy By light alone, Fri 2 May 2008, 14:03, closed)

Master H. Potter
is a rehash of the hero of Ursula le Guin's "Earthsea Quartet."
(Redemption blamed it on the Bossa Nova since, Fri 2 May 2008, 14:04, closed)

Pet Peeves - Spelling mistakes
Diagon - ally?? Diagon Alley??
(morrigan456 made sex wee on, Fri 2 May 2008, 14:05, closed)

Ooops.
Ah. I made a spelling mistake. I hate spelling mistakes...

*disappears in a puff of hypocrisy*
(Psycorp603, Fri 2 May 2008, 14:55, closed)

derivative of so much
When I was a kid I read some of the Just William and Billy Bunter books, the prototypical "public school japes" I see in her output. As for the plucky young orphan... I wonder where the Dickens she got that idea? Please, sir, may I have some more?
( bnt what, me worry?, Fri 2 May 2008, 15:15, closed)

A-level English syllabus? Potter?
*snarls* If Harry Potter is literature to rival Tolkien, Dickens, Nabokov, Salinger, Joyce, Chaucer and your favourites here, then a grilled cheese sandwich is haute cuisine. DO. NOT. WANT.
( Maladicta, Fri 2 May 2008, 15:18, closed)

Going back a second...
"She got an entire generation of kids to READ."

Is that true? My cousin's kids bought the books and left them unread, on a shelf, while they waited for the films to come out.

Are there any statistics that show how many kids read HP then moved on to other stuff?

Not being arsey, just genuinely interested - it's an argument I hear a lot, but one that goes against what I've actually seen (from an admittedly tiny sample).
(Psycorp603, Fri 2 May 2008, 15:41, closed)

three words
"the worst witch'

read this then talk to her legal team
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Sat 3 May 2008, 2:38, closed)

she wrote some entertaining books
that people seem to like.
It's snowballed as some things are wont to do and she's made loads of money out of it. Well done her.

I don't particularly care whether they are the best books ever, they were fun. As for originality, that's the kind of complaint that can be levelled at pretty much any book or film created in living memory.

My main problem with your rant, though: complaining about awful puns while on b3ta... Do you go to the seaside at weekends and piss into the ocean?
( Mockingbird Practitioner of SCIENCE, Thu 8 May 2008, 10:13, closed)