Language
Right - too many of you Brits are laying into Americans for their dodgy spelling, time to level the playing field methinks.

First off, the reasoning behind the way Americans spell things is a culmination of phonetics (note how it isn't spelled as it sounds, weird that) and, this is the kicker....

That's how it was way back f*cking when, when you f*ckstains came over the damn sea to colonise the new world.

I'll let that sink in for a bit. Got it? No? Then I advise you to go back over some of your more historical written documents. Don't worry, I have time to wait, while you do that I'll keep going.

Anyway, things that really get my back up are the spellings of:

color - spelt colour
honor - spelt honour
armor - spelt armour

WTF? When did we start playing bloody Scrabble. Now i'm not claiming innocence on this, we've f*cked the language over a barrel ourselves (mostly in how we chew on words and spit them out, rather than speaking clearly). Words such as:

organize - it's an 's' not a 'z' dear, try again
generalize - no, close but still seem to be a bit confused
prioritize - NNNNGGGHHH

This pisses me off no end as my name is - for those of you who can't guess from the user name - Charles, often shortened to Chas. The number of people who spell it with a 'z' is astronomical, and I hate every.single.one.of.them.

I'd make a length joke, but I'm too f*cking angry to be witty - so instead I'm gonna take some prescription pharmaceuticals and go sit in a dark room cursing the world...... penis.
(UncleChuckles "Cthulhu fhtagn", Fri 2 May 2008, 14:07, 12 replies)

Shouldn't phonetics
be spelt as 'fonetix' then? After all, that's the way it sounds.
(Pavlov's Frog figures no-one really reads sigs anyway, Fri 2 May 2008, 14:11, closed)

I've often wondoured
about the British infatuuatioun with the letteur "u". Where did it coume froum? Why was it deemed necessary to have all these sileunt letteurs eveurywhere? It makes it difficuult to read at times withouut mentaully heauring it souund like someoune with a mouuthfuul of rotteun cheese.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Fri 2 May 2008, 14:19, closed)

Just the variabililty of language, I guess
However, if someone decides to take issue with my pronunciation, I am not afraid of using cheap shots.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Fri 2 May 2008, 14:22, closed)

another american word
that I can't get my head around is aluminium. there's another "I" in there. Or is that ever so complex series of sylables too challenging for you?

we gave you your language, be greatful. America is the chavvy child using txt spk whilst Britain as parents struggle to keep the language from deteriorating.
(Katzilla Follow Me! @Kat_Zilla (I don't promise funnehs), Fri 2 May 2008, 14:27, closed)

Should I point out the irony
of "greatful"?

Nah. Be grateful that I didn't.

(arf)
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Fri 2 May 2008, 14:34, closed)

Aluminium
was originally aluminum. It was changed to "Aluminium" to make it fit in with existing element nomenclature.

And the apparently excess "U"s in the English language is a product of its derivation and each words etymology, coupled with the invention of the printing press. As it'd be nigh-on impossible to create (economically) a book with every different spelling of a word used, printed text standardised around the spelling of the inventor of the printing press.
However it came about, it's still the accepted standard (or "correct") way of spelling English- the one the rest of the world will (or, rather SHOULD) be learning- and everything else is at best a dialect.

The problem with phonetic spelling is it varies from region to region- a "problem" to me could be a "prahblem" to a Yank. If I was to pronounce "Color" [coh-loh-r] and "Colour" [cul-luh-re] without knowing that they were supposed to be the same word, I'd pronounce them quite differently. Mainly because I'm a pedantic Englishman living in Scotland who's having to fight to keep his accent...

Anyway, that's my rant over. And I'm proud that I avoided tomayto/tomato, potayto/potato singing... lets call the whole thing off. Bugger.
( uberdeity Wondered why Owen Lars knew of the term "hell" on, Fri 2 May 2008, 14:38, closed)

"That's how it was way back f*cking when, when you f*ckstains came over the damn sea to colonise the new world"
Ergo, you can't spell or have any proper understanding of grammar as you are descended from…

'f*ckstains came over the damn sea to colonise the new world'

And if you want to swear, just fucking swear you fat warmongering imbecile

BTW in ‘London, England’ we spell Chas as C.U.N.T

Toodles
x
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Fri 2 May 2008, 14:41, closed)

Warmongerer
Coming from the laughing stock that once controlled a quarter of the globe - there is a case of 'pot' and 'kettle' if ever I did hear one.

Oh, and fuck off - happy?
(UncleChuckles "Cthulhu fhtagn", Fri 2 May 2008, 15:00, closed)

You really seem to
have got the poor old Pom's backs up there. I'm Australian and don't care if you don't put a second "i" in "aluminium" or a "u" in "colour".

But I don't care to have computers telling me not to do it. I also prefer "kilometre" to "kilometer" as that is the spelling in the SI system of units. I deliberately write "-ise" and not "-ize" too.

One thing I have spotted recently is "I could care less." That means they do care, when their apparent meaning is that they don't. Where does this come from?
(Redemption blamed it on the Bossa Nova since, Fri 2 May 2008, 15:11, closed)

true but we realised
one country trying to lord it over the rest of the world was a bit cunty so we created a commonwealth and helped many of our former empirical lands their rightful independence

I’m glad Nmeriker has no similar ideas of world domi..

oh, sorry!
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Fri 2 May 2008, 16:54, closed)

Let's see if this helps..
Professor- professes
Contractor- contracts
Juror- does whatever a juror does.
Calculator- calculates

Colour- does nothing
Honour- does nothing
Flavour- does nothing
Armour- does nothing

The u aids distinction between solid, identifiable nouns, the ones you can point at, and the ones that don't have a presence of any sort.

Armour being an exception, because this is English, and all rules need an exception.
( Thinker, Fri 2 May 2008, 18:47, closed)

"honor" is spelt differently in American
because there it means something completely different. See also "defense".

It would be handy if words like "truth" and "justice" were spelt differently too.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Sat 3 May 2008, 14:33, closed)