Rant. Part one.
"Skedule"
It's pronounced shed-ule, numbnuts.
"Oh.Is it raining out?"
When I trudge in soaked to the skin you really think you're being witty, don't you? What you don't know is that every time I hear this - which is neither original nor funny btw - a little counter in my head ticks down another notch. When it reaches zero I will kill you all.
Cyclists.
If I'm on the road in a car you give me evils for being a capitalist polluting pig. If I'm on the pavement you give me evils for daring to be in your way. That's assuming you don't just try and run me over. You are the most arrogant people on the road. And you are also stupid enough to think that disputing right of way with a Volvo is going to end well.
Adverts.
If you really want me to buy your product then a good place to start is not irritating the hell out of me. Shouting at me is one way to do this. (I'm looking at you, Barry Scott.)
The other one I detest is adverts along the lines of "Men, aren't they stoopid, hur hur."
(Way too many to mention.) Seriously? Do you not actually want my money then? Because expecting me to identify with that halfwit onscreen has not endeared you to me.
To be continued.
If anybody wants me, I'll be over here glowering.
(Big D, Fri 2 May 2008, 17:09, 4 replies)

Glowing prose
"a little counter in my head ticks down another notch. When it reaches zero I will kill you all."

Simply beautiful. Thank you.
(Leo Sasquatch hates being the grown-up, Fri 2 May 2008, 17:14, closed)

The adverts one
is a biggie of mine.

Apparently, most adverts are aimed at women as apparently they do the most shopping. So, apparently, the best way to sell them stuff is to make them feel superior by making men look like idiots.

Also, it seems the way to sell things to men is to make them feel like a secret agent for using this particular deodorant/razor/woodstain.

It's all bollocks. The only ones I like to think affect me are the amusing ones.

*Goes off to buy vibrating laser guided razor*

*Falls down hole*
( baw__bag contains traces of nuts on, Fri 2 May 2008, 17:34, closed)

and it can be pronounced
skedule as well you know

(me, im a shedule man myself, just being a pedant)
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Fri 2 May 2008, 17:57, closed)

Schedule
Indeed can be pronounced skedule, but its an Americanism. You Aluminumbnuts
(lordy lordy, Fri 2 May 2008, 18:06, closed)