Spleen venting time...
Car alarms.
Honestly, what's the fucking point of car alarms? Has anyone EVER on hearing a car alarm thought "Oh no, some miscreant is attempting to steal somebody's car. I must investigate and prevent the commission of this crime."? No they haven't. All everybody thinks is "Bloody car alarms, they make such a horrible noise don't they?"

People who say "aks" instead of "ask".
Why are so many people incapable of pronouncing this prefectly simple word - it looks nothing liks "aks". Just say the word "ass" and put a kicking k on the end. Simple.

People talking about "racialists".
Yes Jade Goody, I mean you. The word is racist, not racialist. Learn English.

Blatantly lying adverts.
Especially those for lipstick and mascara. Look closely at the bottom of the screen when they do the close up of the "after" shot of using the latest product and you'll see the words "enhanced in post production". So, what you're saying is that the shot of impossibly beautiful model with perfect lips/eyelashes isn't actually the result of using your product, it's been done on the computer. Gits.

Shampoo adverts I.
The ones that promise to nourish your hair and do fuck knows what else to it. Fact - hair cannot be nourished, it's dead. Only the root is alive. You can coat it in whatever gloop you want, but at the end of the day that expensive shampoo is just soap for your head.

Shampoo adverts II.
I don't know the name of the product, but it's the one with "light reflecting technology". Erm, hair already reflects light otherwise we wouldn't be able to see it.

February 23rd 2008.
The day my life lost all purpose. She knows why.
( JugglerJAF It's curtains for you.Lacy gently wafting curtains, Mon 5 May 2008, 9:11, 5 replies)

.
www.onelook.com/?w=racialist&loc=scworef&scwo=1&ls=a
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Mon 5 May 2008, 9:13, closed)

Its usually colonials
That do the "aks" thing, plus make that sucking noise. Fucking hate it, if I'm talking to one of my that there London colleagues, and they say "aks" or make that noise, I cut them off.
( Duke Of Belmsford has got 99 records, but Jay-Z ain't one, Mon 5 May 2008, 9:50, closed)

Yes! Car alarms are fucking stupid
what is even more stupid? There are rape alarms that SOUND LIKE CAR ALARMS.

"Help, I'm being raped! Better set off the alarm!"
*everyone within half a mile radius*
"Fuckin' car alarms!"


(how do I know this? One of my 'friends' who constantly drops round to our house and doesn't leave came round really late at night. To get our attention, she didn't ring us, didn't knock, no she stood outside in the street and let off her rape alarm. argh!)
( Hampster Squared has stuff at www.tilla.co.uk, Mon 5 May 2008, 10:00, closed)

OED
If it's not in the Oxford English Dictionary, then it's not English!
( JugglerJAF It's curtains for you.Lacy gently wafting curtains, Mon 5 May 2008, 11:12, closed)

23rd February 2008
I turned 25.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Mon 5 May 2008, 11:13, closed)