Rant part 3.
Advert Breaks
Not only are they getting longer, louder and more frequent but the editing chimps on British Tv have got into the habit of cutting to a break when a character is in the middle of a bastard sentence.
Lazy Journalists.
Just once I'd like to see a football game between England and Germany not hyped up with endless dreck about '66. While we are at it, if you have to do something about sci-fi then put down the bag of cliches about anoraks and "Beam me up Scotty" and Klingons and come up with something different.
Mariah Carey Syndrome.
Sing the song, dammit. We don't need to hear you wailing and squeaking over the top of the chorus. (Actually, I never need to hear anything by Carey, Beyonce or Leona Lewis ever again but hopefully you get the point)
Magazine Snot.
I don't know what the technical term is but it's that horrible gum that attaches CDs to the front of magazines. If you are lucky then you can remove it without tearing half the cover off, the residue never quite leaves the back of the CD so it glues itself to anything and everything and getting it off your fingers involves way too much effort.
Women.
Ladies, ladies, ladies, can I just point something out to you? Every now and again I will want do something that I enjoy. Watch a tv programme, visit a shop, maybe even break out the playstation. I am actually allowed to do things like this from time to time even if you can't see the point yourself. So I would appreciate it if you don't sulk and I would really appreciate it if you don't stand there making snide comments. I have just spent three hours trailing around behind you looking at fucking cushions so I reckon I should be allowed to look at Cds for ten minutes without you rolling your fucking eyes.

And lastly, and probably a tad pedantic.. Don't call me a Northerner. I am from Staffordshire. I am a Midlander. And no, I am not a Brummie either.
(Big D, Tue 6 May 2008, 18:59, 10 replies)

Oh fucking hell
not the old "anyone north of Watford is a northerner" chestnut, that gets on my tits like nothing else.

/also Midlander, not Brummie.

Fucking southern pansies.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Tue 6 May 2008, 19:03, closed)

I'm from Staffordshire too :)

( RiverBlues Hello, Tue 6 May 2008, 19:04, closed)

@Emvee
works both ways, if I go anywhere out of London I get called a cockney, pisses me off no end. (I should add real cockneys think I sound posh).

It's not nice being pidgeon-holed.

Or corn-holed.
(Reverend Samson Fapohunda B3tan, B3tan, B3tan, B3tan, Tue 6 May 2008, 19:09, closed)

I *clicked* this
for magazine snot (hahaha)
( my_cat_has_no_shoes meh meh meh MEH MEH, Tue 6 May 2008, 19:13, closed)

AARGH. This.
Yes. I grew up in Leicester and Stalker Girl (of course, bigoted twat that she is) delighted in introducing me to people as her "Northern friend". NO YOU IGNORANT CUNT I AM FROM THE MIDLANDS. The fact she hated anyone from further north than Canterbury because her "ex" had ditched her for someone with a "comedy Northern accent" from Lincolnshire and her subsequent obsession with "chips and gravy and a battered Mars bar" and "t'pit" and other pointless stereotypes that made me want to kill her.
( Maladicta, Tue 6 May 2008, 19:14, closed)

@Operating B3tan
I know where you're coming from...I get the same when I go home to Walsall - "Yow'm posh incha?" I took my girl back there once and on leaving the pub it was pissing it down. One of the local girls said to my missus, "Lookit yow with yer fancy black umbrella!"

She remains under the impression that umbrella technology hasn't spread to the Black Country to this day.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Tue 6 May 2008, 19:22, closed)

@emvee
Or bum-holed.
(Vice Admiral Sir Charles Cockbrush KCB MBE DSO, who is finding it increasingly difficult to log into b3ta.com wants to duck your aunt and kick your puppy, Tue 6 May 2008, 19:55, closed)

You get a click
for being from Staffordshire too.
(man_d is being watched by experts on, Tue 6 May 2008, 21:45, closed)

Magazine Snot
Linux Format magazine refer to it as "Shrek Snot".
( Amish Information Systems hates misplaced, commas, Tue 6 May 2008, 21:51, closed)

I'm also a midlander
Time to stand up for the rights of midlanders everywhere!

Sister: "can you name one city in the Midlands?"
sister's boyfriend: "er...Nottingham?"
Sister's boyfriend (not quite finished): Wait, isn't that in the... North?"

-~-
New friend: "Well, you're not from the south... are you from the north?"
Me: "I'm from the Midlands"
New friend: But, you're not from Birmingham!"
( Peapod Has returned to the fold on, Wed 7 May 2008, 0:22, closed)