Cat pimp
My mum is a cat pimp and offers the services of her champion pedigree toms to kitties on heat whose owners are willing to pay a few hundred quid for the privilege.

One time, this rather obnoxious, snooty cow, who could quite easily have featured in the film Best in Show, brought in her equally snooty, overly-fluffed, inbred, pugfaced puss for a thorough servicing from prime stud 'Snowwitch Mists of Avalon Trojan Warrior' (the names get worse, believe me).

Pugface tried her very best to gain the stud's attention....arse in the air, choccie starfish on display at all times, meowing like a Yoko Ono record on 78 and rolling around on the floor in a desperate attempt to get buffed into the next century.

Trojan Warrior, however, wasn't in the slightest bit interested. He preferred to turn his attention instead to the giant lop-eared rabbit that ran free in the kittie pen, and mounted himself upon him, ready to give him a good rogering. For his efforts he was rewarded with a series of swift bunny kicks to the feet, body and head.

My mum, embarrassed and desperate to get the money, tried everything to get them to mate that weekend, but alas, Trojan Warrior only had eyes and spiky cat cock for the thunder-footed, big-eared one.

So, that's the sordid world of cat dating for you.
( gypsy turnips, Sun 16 Sep 2007, 13:03, Reply)