Of speed cameras and petty po-lice.
So there I was, sleeping, as I tend to do at half past two on weekdays. Suddenly, Beeper! Hazmat!
Off I rush to the fire station, and once there I am told to "Get Peter, he's at work." Said Peter works for the company who's truck was involved, so it was assumed that he had some sort of helpful info. Off I went in our nice Golf GTD (Protip to fire departments: Car dealerships can be thankful), blasting down the Autobahn at 230kph. There was some construction, with the normal three lanes reduced to two, but I'd driven through there only hours ago and nobody was on the road, so I kept my speed up. It was actually quite fun, since our Fire law says (in part, and paraphrased) "Anything that furthers the legal duties of a fireman is legal".

I was almost through the construction when it happened. Red flash. "Yup, speed trap," thought I. "No worries, got me flashers on."

Everything went well on the call, we finished up at about daybreak. I came home exhausted, only to find a cop car in my driveway. The two cops got out, and presented me with a picture I recognized: A blaze-orange Golf GTD, with "Feuerwehr" written back-to-front on the hood. Complete with air horns and light bar. There was a man in the driver's seat, and he was wearing a yellow-black-reflective stripes outfit.

"We're taking you down to the station," they said.
"We called the fire department, they said it was you driving, and you certainly look like the guy in the picture," they said.
"220 in an 80? You'll never drive again," they said.

"Fuck off. I had my lights on, you can even see it in your stupid picture," quoth I, and went inside for coffee.
(GermanGuy invaded on, Mon 31 Mar 2014, 4:22, 16 replies)

Yeah, COLOGNE AND FRANKFURT, HAVE SOME MORE!
We should have Dresden'd you lot back to the stone-age.
Just saying like.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Mon 31 Mar 2014, 5:38, closed)

a dullard says what?

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 31 Mar 2014, 8:20, closed)

a story
an actual story. not a pointless pun. not a repetitive and deathly dull tirade against trolls and no YOUN MORE UPSET. not someone trying to censor the website so that it only contains stuff of which they approve. a story.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 31 Mar 2014, 9:52, closed)

Hardly surprising that no-one recognises it

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 31 Mar 2014, 9:53, closed)

i didn't say it was a good story or a bad story
but every time anyone tries to post anything, they get a tonne of bricks down on them. shambles and AB should be forced to spend a whole week being sunny and nice to people. i think it might kill them.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 31 Mar 2014, 10:00, closed)

Don't project your personal misery onto me, pet.
I'm the cheeriest motherfucker anybody is likely to meet.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 31 Mar 2014, 10:23, closed)

go on then, take the 7 day challenge
7 days of posting nothing but caring, supportive or fluffy replies.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 31 Mar 2014, 10:30, closed)

Why?
Why would I pander to the desperate crybaby doppers on here?
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 31 Mar 2014, 10:33, closed)

because it's a challenge
a personal quest, to find the inner fluff
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 31 Mar 2014, 10:36, closed)

This whole English comprehension thing is a bit of a challenge for you, isn't it?
I don't need to find my inner fluff. I just don't see any need to waste it on the tragic subhuman dulls on here.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 31 Mar 2014, 10:46, closed)

i understand you perfectly
i understand that the idea of having to be nice to people terrifies you. it's ok, peaches. it's ok.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 31 Mar 2014, 11:02, closed)

These aren't people.
Christ. You've been here long enough to know that.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 31 Mar 2014, 11:05, closed)

Golf GTD?
Living the dream, man!
( Ghoti Fingers, Mon 31 Mar 2014, 8:45, closed)

It's the Honda Civic of the terminally dreary.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 31 Mar 2014, 9:43, closed)

www.feuerwehr.tulln.at/uploads/pics/kommandantenfzg_golf.jpg
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 31 Mar 2014, 20:40, closed)

This is what happens when you don't drive a Honda.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 31 Mar 2014, 9:50, closed)