1970s public information films
As a nipper in the 1970s, I'd spend my Saturday mornings watching Tizwas or Swap Shop, generally feeling quite contended and calm unless DIY was on the agenda.

However, my Saturday morning entertainment was ruined by those horrific public information films, which were accompanied by stern voiced narration (by the likes of Donald Pleasance, David Prowse and Jon Pertwee amongst others) and creepy keyboard music. The film makers seemed to harbour an obsession with electricity too, judging by the amount of pylon induced roastage that was shown in all it's charred glory across the family TV set.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=m0xmSV6aq0g

The one involving the boy flying a cable-controlled model plane underneath pylons had me whimpering with a cushion over my face, while the one about not playing where you shouldn't (ie playing on substations) had me running out of the room.

The one which caused the most lasting damage though was the film warning you about the perils of running along a beach. For those of you short of memory or years, the camera panned across to a small boy running along at the seaside without a care in the world. All of a sudden, the film stops with a lingering shot of the boy's foot mid-run hovering *just* above a broken bottle.

To this very day I cannot walk into seawater barefoot.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 10 Apr 2008, 15:39, 8 replies)

ugh, yes!
The substation one. And one about playing in grain or sand or something where the child either drowns or gets sucked up into a grain lorry.

It's hazy, but scary.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 10 Apr 2008, 15:41, closed)

I hated the one where all these kids on a farm got killed
In numerous grisly ways, like falling into a pit of slurry, or being munched up by a combine harvester. I can't believe they used to show that to children-gave me nightmares for weeks.

The one with the guy slipping on a rug was quite funny mind.
(jimbowensspeedboat is your secret Austrian cellar baby, Thu 10 Apr 2008, 15:51, closed)

^^
My brother bought an entire DVD of those!

Who's idea was it to let Alvin Stardust do a road safety advert? The most vaguely threatening man I've ever clapped eyes on.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Thu 10 Apr 2008, 16:34, closed)

Aaaargh!
The beach one is still fresh in my mind too...

And those 'Charlie says...' adverts.

Just scary...
( snee held his breath since, Thu 10 Apr 2008, 16:34, closed)

God, they were brilliant
In a 'don't go outside kids, cos you're all GOING TO DIE' kind of way.

I reckon that the people behind them were secretly engaged in developing games console technology, so that when the ads had run their natural course, children would take to the comfort of their own bedrooms and grow morbidly obese, safe in the knowledge that if they were going to die it would at least be of their own inertia rather than getting murdered by Alvin Stardust on a busy road by a deep and stagnant lake.

And breath, and click.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 10 Apr 2008, 19:11, closed)

JIMMY NOOOO!!!!
That one where the kid kicks a ball into the power transformer station *shudders*

My brother bought that DVD of the public info films. I still knew the lyrics to "Learn to swim".
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 11 Apr 2008, 10:53, closed)

Harry Enfield
Did anyone see the Harry Enfield spoof public information film made just before the 1997 general election?

L is for Labour

L is for Lice
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 11 Apr 2008, 11:41, closed)

What the juddering fuck...
...is that "Splink" message at the end of the video all about? Is it me, or is that the most confusing and pointless acronym ever?
( Olembe Refuses to write in this space, Fri 11 Apr 2008, 16:49, closed)