Sitting on (public) toilet seats
is an absolute no-no in my world.

I have a complete horror of what nasties might be lurking on that well-used ring of plastic. Trained from a very early age by dear old mum not to sit down, I have, like many others, perfected "The Hover".

No way is my delicate little bum making contact where others have gone before.

I have, of course, trained my own daughters similarly (except when they were tiny, and I used to carry Flash wipes) and doubt I could ever make myself actually sit down.

It does take a certain skill, does it not? Especially when travelling. My best "Hover"? In an overnight coach to London, hammering down the M6 at stupid o'clock in the morning, bus bouncing all over the place. I never made contact once (and I was gagging at the smell the whole time). Why do bus toilets smell so bad?
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Thu 10 Apr 2008, 20:56, 8 replies)

They smell because.....
Apart from your good self, those buses are full of students, oap's and chavs who don't give a shit if they miss the seat when they wee.
( girlinthehole, Thu 10 Apr 2008, 21:09, closed)

Yeah, you could well be right
You certainly see a different side to life on long-distance coaches.
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Thu 10 Apr 2008, 21:17, closed)

On an American long-distance coach
When I was on my tour of the States, I saw this in the bathroom of a Greyhound bus



Maybe the toilets of National Express coaches would smell nicer if they had these signs.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 10 Apr 2008, 21:25, closed)

oh gee
It might be because under the bus you have a large swirling slurry cocktail, with the fumes rising upwards into a small enclosed cabin, where people add to the smell by pissing on the floor. Not really surprising is it?
( Moonraker isn't the droid you were looking for, Thu 10 Apr 2008, 22:14, closed)

As I once saw in a bog...
"There's no point standing on the seat
The little bastards can jump 10 feet"
( jim_bob can herd cats., Thu 10 Apr 2008, 22:17, closed)

oooh, I had this exact same hover indoctrination
cemented into the psyche.

Glastonbury festival toilets are a place you would HAVE to hover, eh? With the mix of plentiful alcofrol, and the usual others, affecting the old vestibular systems; the dark, the horror of the dark and what lies behind as you fall backwards. On to the seat. On the last night.

ever so slight ick
(maggotriddendirtbox fast, feral and sharp as a tack since, Fri 11 Apr 2008, 0:09, closed)

Ahhhhhh THE HOVER...
the hover is goooooood...
(Beejster, Fri 11 Apr 2008, 4:00, closed)

Is "The Hover"
purely a female thing? Im a bloke and as long as the seat isnt covered in shit/piss/whatever Im not really bothered where I plonk my arse.
(kitescreech still here, Sun 13 Apr 2008, 18:17, closed)