How to confuse a racist.
"Fucking immigrants! All coming here, stealing our jobs!" raged the racist. This blindsided me- I'd never heard him come out with anything like this before.

"What?"
"You heard me, fucking immigrants and asylum seekers, stealing our jobs and houses, fishing in the rivers!"

This was totally new on me. Usually this occasional drinking buddy was quite placid, a bit mental, and he loved the weed like there was no tomorrow, and not to be trusted at all around Mars Bars, but I'd never heard him go off on one before. So I decided to ask the question- one I never ask, because I'm never sure if I will like the answer or not.

"So... so you vote for the BNP now then?"
"Yes! Course I fucking well do!"

Well that told me then. I asked him why, and got the usual rant from those who make up for what they are lacking in brain cells by having a very large mouth. And his was in full flow, as he covered the usual bits paraphrased from Enoch Powell's speeches. Oswald Mosley would have been proud of this bloke right about now. But as he ranted and raved, with me quietly sipping my pint, something went *click* in my head. And when he stopped for a breather, and before he could start again, I asked him a simple question.

"So do you have a job?"
"N-no! I'm waiting for something more in my skills range!"
"But have you been to the job centre recently?"
"Yes, I have! But all the jobs are fucking shit! Fruit picking, MacDonald's, medical orderlies and all that! I'm not doing all that!"
"So there are jobs available but you don't want to do them?"
"Fucking too right!"
"Right then. So you don't want to do those jobs even though they are available. I'm guessing this is because you consider them beneath you? Thought so. Right then, consider this. You don't want to do those jobs, but some immigrants want to do them. It gives them dignity, and they can earn money to send back home after paying their way here. They do the jobs you and I wouldn't want to do- shit jobs, admittedly, but they keep the economy ticking over. Do you know the reason why America became such an economic giant? Immigration and a cheap labour force. That is what these guys provide. They pick our fruit, clean our shoes and sweep our streets. They build our houses, and repair the potholes. You might not want to do it, but they keep the economy going, and they only take these jobs because people like you are too idiotic to swallow their own pride and actually get off their arse and work for a living."

The pub was starting to take an interest at this point, they could see something interesting was going to happen.

"But... but..."
"No buts. Accept you've been an idiot and get back to the job centre, I'm going to leave you now because I don't spend my valuable time in the company of bigots. Bye now!"

And I left the pub, the pub giggling at the now silent racist idiot, as he wondered what the hell had just happened to him.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Mon 5 Apr 2010, 18:31, 24 replies)

That was his first mistake.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 18:58, closed)

Christ.
Confidence is a good thing - believing in yourself. Arrogance, the belief that others are inferior, is not. You are an arrogant tosser, sneering at other's efforts, and generally reducing the friendly atmosphere of QOTW (one of its prize attributes). Even if this story is not true, it is well argued and well written. The sentiments are spot on. But you'd rather mock and sneer. It makes you look petty and juvenile.

/rant
(McChinaman banned, Tue 6 Apr 2010, 4:07, closed)

He is petty and juvenile.
In this case, he's probably right to be I'm afraid. PB couldn't argue his way out of a wet sock.
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Tue 6 Apr 2010, 16:51, closed)

Mainly because you've never actually heard me participate in a proper debate.
Usually because we're all too pissed/stoned/wired to care.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Tue 6 Apr 2010, 19:48, closed)

I'd imagine this REALLY happened.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 19:03, closed)

Phew. That's some weapons-grade sarcasm you've got there!
(kind of thinking the same thing though- L'espirit d'escalier & all that).
( Tab Hunter Make this useless process end and so, begin again, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 19:18, closed)

It did.
I live in Wakefield FFS.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Mon 5 Apr 2010, 19:08, closed)

hahahah
good work, king of the liars
(Dr. Geoff Honkington woof, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 19:15, closed)

You can go fuck yourself with a cactus as far as I am concerned.
You really do make for a shit teacher.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Mon 5 Apr 2010, 19:27, closed)

hahah i do like a good non sequitur
me not believing your hard man internet tales makes me a bad teacher?

that's an astonishing leap of logic even for you
(Dr. Geoff Honkington woof, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 19:43, closed)

Hardman internet tales?
Christ you can be so stupid sometimes. Then again, so am I for replying to your bile-filled posts. I find it astonishing that I am forced to share oxygen with such a pathetic waste of DNA such as yourself.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Mon 5 Apr 2010, 20:12, closed)

Meep meep!
*barely concealed, simmering sexual-tension alert!*
Get a room you two!
( Tab Hunter Make this useless process end and so, begin again, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 20:16, closed)

He'd be unable to walk after I'm finished with him.
He'd have an arse like a teapot.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Mon 5 Apr 2010, 22:40, closed)

Arf!

( Tab Hunter Make this useless process end and so, begin again, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 23:25, closed)

"arse like a teapot"
Bwahahahahah
(Sadarse works like Mist condensing mud flaps, Tue 6 Apr 2010, 0:04, closed)

I saw Chris Addison a couple of weeks ago and he asked the following question
How do you confuse a Daily Mail reader?

Tell them the natural prey for immigrants are paedophiles...
( Jimbuktu See? Right here, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 19:33, closed)

He must steal his material from the viz then.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 22:00, closed)

Sounds a bit epic.
If it was me, I'd have raised an eyebrow four hours later when I'd thought of all the shit I could have said.
(Scritty Bakerman., Mon 5 Apr 2010, 21:07, closed)

Frankly, looking back, I'm surprised he didn't deck me.
Probably too surprised to do anything about it.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Mon 5 Apr 2010, 21:23, closed)

Really?
Anyway, I find more often than not, it's the fucking ignorant and naieve fucks that make that classic comment 'All coming here, stealing our jobs'

People have no idea and get this bullshit statement from the Mail or the sink estates they come from. Just no idea what the fucking hell spills from their mouths and when questioned, have no answer.

Like your little scenario
(Eeevil You are losers, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 21:18, closed)

AWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOGA!

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 6 Apr 2010, 10:17, closed)

Sound the Honda Accord horn?

( jim_bob can herd cats., Tue 6 Apr 2010, 11:29, closed)

now, i was there, and that's not exactly how it happened now is it jimmy boy.

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 6 Apr 2010, 14:28, closed)

Piss off Gobbo.
I'll bet you've never even crossed Offa's Dyke.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Tue 6 Apr 2010, 19:49, closed)