elbows on the table
I grew up with constant nagging from my socially aspiring mother:

Don't eat with your elbows on the table.
Don't slurp your soup.
Don't take pieces of food out of your mouth, even if it's a golfball of gristle.
Don't lean down to your plate; bring the food to your mouth.
Don't dribble, smear or drip.
Don't enjoy your meal - consider it a test of etiquette.

Well now I'm free of her and I eat like an absolute pig. I break all the rules and I don't give a toss if the table looks like a party of monkeys have eaten there. And I don't say please or thankyou.

Eating is about pleasure.
(Brand name, Fri 12 Nov 2010, 11:48, 8 replies)

Yeah!
You sound like a real pleasure to eat with.
(flimflam_machine, Fri 12 Nov 2010, 11:52, closed)

A guy I used to be mates with chewed with his mouth open.
It was fucking disgusting.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 12 Nov 2010, 12:02, closed)

I had one who smacked his gob with every single mouthful. It didn't matter what he was eating - it could be a single cream cracker, but he would still sound like a dog at the water bowl. It actually devolved to physical violence on more than one occasion.
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Fri 12 Nov 2010, 12:23, closed)

Eating is indeed about pleasure
so don't fucking ruin it for others by spraying them with pieces of half-masicated food, you peon.
(ElectricSexPants would like to be the Sultan of something, Fri 12 Nov 2010, 12:08, closed)

Each of those
sound like metaphors for oral sex etiquette.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Fri 12 Nov 2010, 12:28, closed)

Yours or other people's?

(Vice Admiral Sir Charles Cockbrush KCB MBE DSO, who is finding it increasingly difficult to log into b3ta.com wants to duck your aunt and kick your puppy, Fri 12 Nov 2010, 13:00, closed)

charming!
If you ate like that at my table, i'd take your plate away
And ask you to eat off the floor like the pig you are behaving like.
Elbows on table, no probs, but noisy messy eating is a right turn off
(insomniac-surfer oh go on then, just this once, Fri 12 Nov 2010, 13:54, closed)

You ignorant fucking slob
Nom nom nom look at me everyone i'm eating. Aren't i clever? No your not. I bet your personal hygiene has a similar level of depravity.
(boarders You won't catch me with my trousers, Fri 12 Nov 2010, 18:26, closed)