Can't Make Me
I was recently told, by my c*ntflap of a boss, that I am redundant and I will not be needed in the office much after the beginning of December.

So for the past 3 weeks I have thought sod it and have been coming in to work about half an hour late. Apparently, this is deemed outrageous in the eyes of Mr C*ntflap and I have been told that, although I'm being f*cked off in 3 weeks due to the apparent lack of work, the office will collapse if I'm not at my desk on time every morning until that time...

Therefore, brace yourself, on Wednesday I came to work - on time - but without brushing my hair. Yeah - take that mega-bonce, c*ntflap boss. You can make me be on time but you can't control my barnet. Ner ner ner ner ner. I amaze myself with my bravery sometimes*.

* could be a complete lie. I could hate myself every ounce of the working day as I continuously let myself be walked over like a doormat just so I get a half decent reference. Meh.
(Senora Veranos cannot and will not so ner..., Fri 12 Nov 2010, 14:33, 8 replies)

shit in a shoebox and hide it in the aircon
they won't find it till after you've gone.
that'll show 'em.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 12 Nov 2010, 14:35, closed)

I was thinking
of something along those exact same lines. First, however, I thought I would spend all my redundancy cash on the largest pile of prunes, devilled eggs and curried beans I could get my hands on...
(Senora Veranos cannot and will not so ner..., Fri 12 Nov 2010, 14:38, closed)

if you do that, you'll have to line the box with plastic
or it'll seep out before you get a chance to hide it
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 12 Nov 2010, 15:03, closed)

that sounds like the voice of experience!
(Lip Up Fatty Fatty Reggae still loves BBQ food on, Fri 12 Nov 2010, 15:06, closed)

I ADMIT NOTHING!

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 12 Nov 2010, 15:07, closed)

Hide a fish in the suspended ceiling.

( idonthaveafunnynickname Drink-Aware? Sure. I'm aware I want another drink., Fri 12 Nov 2010, 18:40, closed)

sod the reference
due to the danger of being sued by an ex-employee for giving a bad reference, most companies these days simply confirm the dates between which you were working for them. COme in late, extend your lunch hour - there's nothing they can do about it :o)
(TheFlyingOnion. looking forward to, Sat 13 Nov 2010, 9:38, closed)

if they give you a negative reference
without yer actual proof they can be sued for defamation & all sorts.
This is why a lot of companies say "yes he wporked he from x to y and was made redundant due to lack of business" and leave it at that - nothing even vaguely contentious.
( Fathter Puddytat Kill Kill dat widdle boid is mine on, Sat 13 Nov 2010, 9:54, closed)