Smash the system
August 2004, Stornoway, Isle of Lewis.

Traveling through the area with friends we stopped at The Heb in Stornoway.

It's going to be a good night, according to the friendly locals. A band who used to play in the mid-1990s have reformed and are gigging here tonight.

And we weren't disappointed.

A truly ripping set, one which lasted well beyond the 2am licence agreement of the bar.

This was brought to an end in IN THE MIDDLE of a song, Rage Against The Machine to be precise.

2.10am, the police coming striding in the back door and signal to the band to stop playing.

The band oblige instantly, cutting the song short, which is fine, but the timing couldn't have been better:

"Fuck you I won't do what you tell me . . . .Fuck you I won't do what you tell me . . . . oh, yes, sorry officer."


Smash the system!
(Barry Subchimp, Fri 12 Nov 2010, 15:11, 21 replies)

Ahhh the Heb
Back when it was called The Hebridean me an a mate popped into Stornoway one morning. We had three jobs to do;

1. Get some diving cylinders filled.
2. Get a drum of diesel for the boat.
3. Hire a van for the purpose of carrying items one and two.

It was a simple plan, and we fully expected to be back at base by lunchtime.

Items one and two were achieved in double quick time, but we did have an hour to kill while the cylinders where filled...and the Heb' was open.

So we had a couple of rounds, a pint of heavy and 2 large Trawler Rums to a round....and then we realised that the Van Hire place was open til 6pm.

At 5:55pm we staggered into the van hire shop, shit faced doesn't cover it, but 'luckily' this was Stornoway and the van was supplied.

30 minutes later I was was unconscious lying next to a crashed van soaked in diesel from the ruptured drum. I still carry the scars.
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Fri 12 Nov 2010, 20:27, closed)

You fucking idiot.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 12 Nov 2010, 20:54, closed)

In what way?

( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Fri 12 Nov 2010, 20:55, closed)

'LOL drink driving'.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 12 Nov 2010, 21:10, closed)

Feel free to go back 20 years and tell myself

( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Fri 12 Nov 2010, 21:15, closed)

You old fucking idiot.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 12 Nov 2010, 21:20, closed)

That's better
a bit of fucking respect
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Fri 12 Nov 2010, 21:25, closed)

Are you a qualified diver?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 12 Nov 2010, 21:49, closed)

eh?
Not at the time, I was too young. the guy who'd hired the van was passing out at the wheel. It was dark, pissing with rain on a moor road in the middle of nowhere. I didn't even manage the first corner.
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Fri 12 Nov 2010, 21:55, closed)

You were too young to dive but old enough to get wrecked? I got my first PADI at 12 years old.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 12 Nov 2010, 21:58, closed)

Pob Accredited Diving Instructor?

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 12 Nov 2010, 21:59, closed)

Sorry I read that as 'driver'
Yes, i worked on and off doing light commercial work, underwater demolition and occasional instructing.

At the time I was 16 and we were collecting scallops.
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Fri 12 Nov 2010, 22:19, closed)

So I take it you know if they go bang in the back of a van, you ain't walking away from it, at least not likely.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 12 Nov 2010, 22:36, closed)

Yes
the three and a half thousand psi did cross my mind as the van rolled over.

A couple of years later a guy I know got his leg blown off filling an out of date cylinder at a Malta dive school.
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Fri 12 Nov 2010, 22:47, closed)

A mate of mine had a dive centre in the TRNC, all low-level tourest stuff (ain't much to see there anyway)....
... but someone firebombed his van with 6 full bottles in the back ready for an early morning one. It took out most of the building.

You're lucky to be walking mate, let alone doing a com dive.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 12 Nov 2010, 23:03, closed)

If only you had died :(

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 12 Nov 2010, 21:48, closed)

I let you down very badly

( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Fri 12 Nov 2010, 22:30, closed)

How did it last 'well beyond' 2AM but managed to get broken up 10 minutes after curfew?

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 12 Nov 2010, 20:53, closed)

10 minutes, that's about 3 and a half RATM songs, hmm? "Well beyond" is relative.
(spaffwrap indulged his power socket fetish on, Sat 13 Nov 2010, 3:14, closed)

I hate RATM
Fuck you I won't tidy my bedroom.
( stopmeandslapme Cometh the hour, cometh your mum, Sat 13 Nov 2010, 8:01, closed)

"Thank you, I will do what you tell me"

(Littlesirjohn sprung up his head and so amazed them all., Sun 14 Nov 2010, 18:45, closed)