It took me four hours to get home from Mrs Monkeysex's last night
A journey that takes an hour and a half at most by car.

Absolutecockmunchingcuntingpigfuckingarserapistbastardsfromhell.

But at least I got to watch all the naughty videos we made on my phone the whole time I was waiting for trains, and look at the pictures I took of her in her tiny little hotpants.

HOTPANTS RULE.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 5 Jun 2008, 9:54, 38 replies)

Your dating Kylie?
She kept that quiet.
( girlinthehole, Thu 5 Jun 2008, 9:56, closed)

Eurgh.
No! Kylie looks like a little boy with her midget-like proportions and lack of arse and boobies.

Mrs Monkeysex is all woman :D

Edit and hello to you too!
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 5 Jun 2008, 9:59, closed)

I've missed you Bert.
*Breaths sigh of relief*
( girlinthehole, Thu 5 Jun 2008, 10:04, closed)

Who likes short shorts?
Bert likes short shorts.

Oh yes he does.

Hi Bert!

*waves*
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 5 Jun 2008, 10:04, closed)

You know the rules Bert
Pictures, or it didn't happen.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 5 Jun 2008, 10:04, closed)

oh and
Hellooooo!!!!!

*waves frantically until arm is overcome by cramp*
(Bazongaloid, Thu 5 Jun 2008, 10:05, closed)

Hello everybody!
I do indeed love short-shorts, and I have pictures, but they're for my own personal use, I'm just not the kind of guy who shows his friends pictures of his Mrs. I love her to bits.

Doesn't stop me bragging about it here though.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 5 Jun 2008, 10:06, closed)

I'm fucking busy today
And...
*frowns*

I need some hotpants-awesomeness.
( Cawl, Thu 5 Jun 2008, 10:06, closed)

*points at Kaol*
*laughs*

I can send you pictures of myself in short shorts if you'd like?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 5 Jun 2008, 10:07, closed)

Yeah, that'd be nice
*smiles*
( Cawl, Thu 5 Jun 2008, 10:08, closed)

If Kaol is busy
does that mean lots of people got hurt by big clunking machines?
(Bazongaloid, Thu 5 Jun 2008, 10:08, closed)

If your girlfriend is wearing hotpants..
then she must be young.
( girlinthehole, Thu 5 Jun 2008, 10:08, closed)

Oooo, ooooo, oooooo
send them to me too please!
(Bazongaloid, Thu 5 Jun 2008, 10:08, closed)

@Al
You can have a pic of me in my dungarees. *smile*
( girlinthehole, Thu 5 Jun 2008, 10:09, closed)

I sometimes wonder what B3tans class as busy...
'cause somehow when we're "busy" we still find time for B3ta. I'd love to know exactly what'd happen if they were so busy they couldn't get on.
(Belgaer is, Thu 5 Jun 2008, 10:09, closed)

@BGB
She's 21, I'm 26, but I still feel like a pervert being with her. I look older than I really am, and I've always preferred older ladies, but this one's pretty special. I want your dungarees picture! Dungarees are the sign of a truly adventurous woman!

@Kaol, I'll gaz you some disturbing pics as soon as I get the chance.

@al I hope so, I keep leaving wrenches and crowbars in dangerous machinery near orphanages, but nothing ever seems to happen.

EDIT Ok al, you can have pictures too, but do you really want to see me in my girlfriend's hotpants with my cock hanging out?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 5 Jun 2008, 10:10, closed)

"does that mean lots of people got hurt by big clunking machines?"
Nope, it means that some moron has decided they want a new brochure designed and printed by the end of tomorrow.
*fumes*
( Cawl, Thu 5 Jun 2008, 10:13, closed)

The return of Burt
Heralds a return of very strange conversation. I hope you are going to be back about more often now sir monkeysex.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 5 Jun 2008, 10:13, closed)

A brochure?
Do you sell horrific accidents to people who want to claim insurance?

@PoD I doubt it, I wish I could but work are getting arsey about internet usage, and I'm STILL waiting on my bloody router from Tiscali. Stupid Tiscali.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 5 Jun 2008, 10:14, closed)

@burt
That can be arranged...

Nah, we make furniture.
( Cawl, Thu 5 Jun 2008, 10:14, closed)

I never get too busy for B3ta
Because I can come in on Saturday mornings to catch up.

Yes! I'm that sad.
( girlinthehole, Thu 5 Jun 2008, 10:15, closed)

@Kaol
is it special furniture designed to break and cause injuries? -don't you work in Health & safety.

I hate being too busy to b3ta, it sucks, and those forums earlier this week scared and confused me.

Thank goodness you're back b3ta, I love you like a ginger step-child.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 5 Jun 2008, 10:17, closed)

Firstly, BGB
dungarees please!

second, Bert - dirty old man, dirty, dirty old man. I love it.

Finally, ancrenne - we do notice when your gone!
(Bazongaloid, Thu 5 Jun 2008, 10:17, closed)

@BGB
What are these "Saturday mornings" you speak of?
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 5 Jun 2008, 10:17, closed)

awww
I feel all happy and warm now that we're all back here, all happy and warm.

*warms hands on embers of old b3ta server*
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 5 Jun 2008, 10:19, closed)

@ancrenne
I wonder the same, particularly as I'm not on in the evenings....

*feels like a hanger-on*

*weeps*
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 5 Jun 2008, 10:19, closed)

No-one's ever truly gone...
They're all with me, somewhere. I'd miss you too much otherwise.

*glances over at all the b3tan models on his shelf*
(Belgaer is, Thu 5 Jun 2008, 10:21, closed)

I'm not on
in the evening much either since the bird finished her french exam and actually has time to talk to me again. So I make my presence felt during the day.

*feels up presence*

I won't be on at all tomorrow as I have to go to our brighton office and have my six monthly review.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 5 Jun 2008, 10:22, closed)

Vipros and ancrenne,
The best thing about this place is that you can come and go and still slide in the conversation as if you've never been away.
( girlinthehole, Thu 5 Jun 2008, 10:22, closed)

b3tan models?
*imagines Belgaer with collection of voodoo dolls in the form of us*

*worries*

*gets pain in abdomen*
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 5 Jun 2008, 10:23, closed)

hee hee
slide in

That ones for tourettes who hasn't been on much recently.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 5 Jun 2008, 10:23, closed)

@BGB
And if you ARE on here all the time, nobody judges you...
( Cawl, Thu 5 Jun 2008, 10:23, closed)

it is good
I have to restrain myself from jumping into real life conversations these days, with some ridiculous comment.

made the mistake of telling someone about the pony-punching, baby-jetwashing thing from yesterday...I was generally regarded as a bit odd anyway....
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 5 Jun 2008, 10:24, closed)

@Kaol
Amen to that.

I did enjoy talking to new people on the B3ta forum but it's very nice to back. Would be nice if some of them came on qotw to chat.
( girlinthehole, Thu 5 Jun 2008, 10:25, closed)

@K2k6...
Pretty much. I got Al a shovel recently. He looks dashing with it.

There's a few people who don't have pictures in their profiles, so they may not look how they're meant to.

Oh, and I've got to resculpture Kaol. He sent me a nudey pic yesterday and I'd over estimated his uhm... "Prowess".

*gets out scissors*
(Belgaer is, Thu 5 Jun 2008, 10:26, closed)

@Belgaer
Do you have ears on your model of BGB?
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 5 Jun 2008, 10:30, closed)

I have quite large ears.
I hope he's captured their beauty.
( girlinthehole, Thu 5 Jun 2008, 10:33, closed)