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Jeccy writes, "I've seen people having four-somes, fights involving spastics and genuine retarded people doing karaoke, all thanks to the invention of the common pub."
What's happened in your local then?
( , Thu 5 Feb 2009, 20:55)
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Quick Question.
Has anyone, other than me, been visited after the pub by the Invisible Pub Monkey?
He's the one who throws your clothes all over the house, destroys the kitchen, rifles your wallet (you went out with fifty quid, had 7 pints and now have 7p left), sends *highly* inappropriate texts from your phone at 3am and then shits in your mouth and leaves.
Or is it just me?
Cheers
( , Sun 8 Feb 2009, 11:17, 8 replies)
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i think the monkey is me. sorry about that. btw, when clearing the shit from your mouth, you didn't perchance find a house key did you? swallowed it for a bet, now i'm stuck outside in the snow. bastard.
( , Sun 8 Feb 2009, 11:19, closed)
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reading a few of your recent posts I fear that you could well be right.
You may be the physical avatar of the Invisible Pub Monkey.
You should start your own religion.
Cheers
( , Sun 8 Feb 2009, 11:24, closed)
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i always hankered after minions...
remember, you heard it here first.
all hail loaf the messiah! hail dammit! STOP walking away from me dammit, i shall smite thee!! *smites feebly*
( , Sun 8 Feb 2009, 11:26, closed)
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then wander off.
I woke up this morning to find he'd joined a game of Conqueror but then got bored and left it running. He also put "Me and the minibar" by Dresden Dolls on repeat in winamp. Just that one song. Still playing this morning.
Baffling.
( , Sun 8 Feb 2009, 11:54, closed)
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..bastard once photocopied someone-else's bank statements, put my underwear in the breadbin, left a bottle of wine in the bathroom sink, half-ate two tins of sardines with crackers and left the lights on with Stevie Wonder's "Illuminations" on repeat.
( , Sun 8 Feb 2009, 16:27, closed)
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If I go out with 50quid, drank 7 pints i'd still have 43 quid left :)
( , Sun 8 Feb 2009, 17:05, closed)
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Went out in a pair of black shoes.
On the walk home through the snow suddenly realised that not only had £50 disappeared from my wallet but I was wearing flipflops.
Today I got my shoes back from a local pub.
I have no idea what happened.
( , Mon 9 Feb 2009, 1:20, closed)
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