Football and pubs
My local is a good football watching pub. Loads of TV's, all the channels, loads of seats (including a load of fold-away ones that turns the main bit into a virtual cinema) and, more importantly, it;'s fairly neutral. I say "fairly" because it is in Manchester, so there tends to be more City / United supporters in than any others.

One saturday afternoon, me and a couple of ManYoo supporting mates headed down for the usual "quick three matches and 12 pints" routine. The late game of the day was Newcastle vs ManYoo. By the time this match was due to kick-off, the pub was full of people who had been there most of the day and were feeling quite merry.

Just before kick-off, some studenty-looking lad (the pub in question is in Withington, which is a very studenty area) wanders in, wearing a Newcastle United shirt, scarf and bobble hat. He looked like a proper tit.

He found a space near the front and plonked himself down with his pint of tapwater.

Now, in this game, ManYoo didn't play particularly well and this lad was continuously giving it "Come on Newcastle! You can beat these! Come on the Maggers!" and so on. People were not impressed.

At half time, I was heading towards the bog on a path that would take me past this brave Geordie. The bloke walking in front of me, who could accurately be described as "a big, fat, scarey looking ManYoo supporting bastard", grabbed this lads bobble hat and kept walking. The lad objected, but could do very little about it, given the size difference between the two.

When the scarey bloke got into the bogs, he chucked the bobble hat in the unrinal and pissed on it. I pissed as quickly as I could, so I could see what happened next. The bloke fished the bobble hat out of the piss-trough, wandered back into the pub and plonked it back onto the Geordies head, then dried his hands on the lad's scarf.

I was creased laughing, which confused most people until the lad went "Eeeurgh! You've pissed on this!" The rest of the pub erupted in laughter. The lad left.

The only thing that spoiled it was ManYoo staged a comeback...
(ScousersPet, Wed 11 Feb 2009, 12:06, 5 replies)

That lad was never a Geordie
Tap water in-fucking-deed.

Probably a Mackem in disguise.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 11 Feb 2009, 12:55, closed)

He was a student
After the first couple of weeks of term, they all drink tapwater or cordial and soda water...
(ScousersPet, Wed 11 Feb 2009, 13:45, closed)

Damn right!
After all, football is the most important thing in the world.
(MrC. Having the most boring username on b3ta since 2004, Wed 11 Feb 2009, 13:00, closed)

It is?
Damn, I need to change my... everything.
( gareth_alien will be human again at, Wed 11 Feb 2009, 14:11, closed)

He wasn't a Mag at all!
For a start, no self respecting Jawdie would refer to Newcastle as "Maggers!".

Also, his tipple would be brown ale.

Also, I liked this story, as I am a Sunderland supporter, and there's nowt better than covering the Scum in piss. :-D
(ShaunyBoi has been surviving fires since, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 12:06, closed)