Constipation
can be awafully troublesome. Last year I hadn't had a bowel movement in almost a month; my stomach was in constant pain and it felt like I was carrying a solid concrete block around with me.
I'd tried everything; laxatives, drinking water, excercise - pretty much anything I had read or heard about, and I was giving up hope of ever shitting again.
One of my close friends offered another solution to my agonising dillema and she pulled from her handbag a wrinkled, dark brown object. Handing it to me she said, "Here, try this, it'll do the job".

By now I was desperate, I ate the object she gave me and within 2 minutes 'GRRROOOOAAAAAN BLOOAAAAAHHHH', my bowels collapsed. I ran, hunched and clenching my sphincter tightly, to the toilet where almost a months worth of faeces was emptied from my quivering body over the course of an hour.

And that was my best ever prune.




Oh, pun! nevermind.
(Monkey the Chicken Twitter: death_stairs, Thu 5 Mar 2009, 17:24, Reply)