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This is a question Puns

Tell us your best ever puns - get them out of your system now and let's not see them again.

Suggested by MatJ

(, Thu 5 Mar 2009, 12:52)
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The local Asda manager
wants to get shot of his wife, after asking around he hears of a local man who is whispered to be a hit man. They meet and the hit man introduces himself as RT, ok RT how much to kill my wife, he replies 1 pound.

RT goes on to explain how much he likes killing and the 1 pound is purely to keep it business like.

The Asda manager says he can do the deed in Asda during a quiet period as he can guarantee his wife will be there at a certain time.

…..So its late evening and RT turns up and the manager points to the booze aisle and he calmly walks up and strangles her with his bare hands, as she lets out her last gasp a member of staff walks around the corner sees the act and runs but RT is too fast and catches him by the chest freezers, RT grabs him and strangles him to death also.

But unfortunately another member of staff sees him, but again RT is to fast and strong and he is strangled next to the quilted toilet tissue.

RT calmly walks over to the manager collects his 1 pound and leaves.

Headline in the paper reads……..




RT chokes 3 for a pound in Asda

Standard apologies about the length apply
(, Thu 5 Mar 2009, 17:47, Reply)

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