New York Methodists...

In my capacity as fanatical puritan, I was once invited to speak at a service at the young ladies’ branch of the local New York Methodists (NYM).

The congregation consisted of girls aged 18-22, and each one was blessed with stunning good looks, shapely thighs, firm, pert buttocks, and supple breasts that were humongous in their pendulate gelatinous magnificence.

As I began my lecture, I noticed that they were becoming visibly aroused as I discussed how sex, deep, sensuous penetration, and the exploration of each others bodies in girl-on-girl action was a very bad thing indeed.

The next time I glanced up from my notes I realised that they had all stripped off out of their convent girl uniforms, exposing their sultry bodies to the light through the stained glass windows…and as they began to probe each other with their tongues, they glistened with moistness and sweat.

Next thing I knew it was like an explosion in a chopped liver factory – there were arms, legs, dildos, gash and buckets of kebab meat flying about the place…and the moans and sighs of ecstasy were beginning to drown out the church organ.

Obviously, I was appalled.

“I cast thee out! - You're all going to Hell!” I cried to them, reciting the bible and throwing crucifixes in the general direction of the animalistic carnal live lesbian display, before spurting holy water over their nubile young bodies as they writhed around, passionately plunging tongues ever deeper into various crevices and orifices.

...


Now I tell you something…I may not be able to do puns, but I know how to treat 'homo-NYMs' as 'sinner-NYMs'...
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Tue 10 Mar 2009, 10:19, 2 replies)

Erm...Can I explain...?

From Wikipedia...

By definition, puns must be deliberate; an involuntary substitution of similar words is called a malapropism.

To pun is to treat homonyms as synonyms.

Henri Bergson defined a pun as a sentence or utterance in which "two different sets of ideas are expressed, and we are confronted with only one series of words".

oh, forget it!

*goes back on holiday*
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Tue 10 Mar 2009, 10:25, closed)

This is great...
Teaching only with added porn... This could take off, you know. Cheers.
( SpankyHanky, Tue 10 Mar 2009, 11:44, closed)