This is a true one
Was in the pub the other week with my mate Steve. He starts chatting with this group of ladies. He's at that stage of being so pissed that when one blows him out he simply shifts his attention to the next in line. Not caring at all that the new object of his affections has just heard his lines being used on her mate stood next to her.

So, he leans on the bar and slurs to this new girl: "People say I remind them of Tom Cruise."

She shoots back: "What - you're short and weird?"

I very nearly bought her a drink.
( SpankyHanky, Wed 11 Mar 2009, 11:35, 1 reply)

Another acceptable riposte being
'What - rumours that you're gay just WON'T go away no matter what you do?'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 11 Mar 2009, 12:49, closed)