Puns
Tell us your best ever puns - get them out of your system now and let's not see them again.
Suggested by MatJ
( , Thu 5 Mar 2009, 12:52)
Tell us your best ever puns - get them out of your system now and let's not see them again.
Suggested by MatJ
( , Thu 5 Mar 2009, 12:52)
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Shop Haunting
Have a pearoast
When he was a bit younger, my brother got a part time job at a fishmonger's. Really unpleasant work - gutting fish, throwing away the guts and making them look presentable for the customers. The owner of the shop used to pay well though, purely because the job sucked and that was the only way he'd get someone to stay there long enough. Fish gutting and scaling is an art, and you need practice in order to stay good at it.
Now, having spent a bit too much on beer one week, brother dear was needing some overtime pay. And stayed late for three nights in a row, catching up on fish gutting. Nothing happened on the first two nights. On the third night, so I'm told, it was creepy. It was summer, but the inside of the shop was cold. Not just the fish storage or the counter but the whole shop. This wasn't solved even by turning the heating on.
He kept hearing whispers. Fragments of words in the background, always coming from the shop front. Every time he went out there, no-one was there. Obviously, after a while you'd get a bit creeped out.
After finishing up, he heard the whisper one last time, saying something like "hello?". He went out to check... and saw something there. A thing, in a black robe, transparent. Like the stereotypical image you have of Death. But stinking of fish.
It stuck a finger out at him and said in a loud clear voice.
"I'VE COME FOR YOUR SOLE"
( , Wed 11 Mar 2009, 21:51, Reply)
Have a pearoast
When he was a bit younger, my brother got a part time job at a fishmonger's. Really unpleasant work - gutting fish, throwing away the guts and making them look presentable for the customers. The owner of the shop used to pay well though, purely because the job sucked and that was the only way he'd get someone to stay there long enough. Fish gutting and scaling is an art, and you need practice in order to stay good at it.
Now, having spent a bit too much on beer one week, brother dear was needing some overtime pay. And stayed late for three nights in a row, catching up on fish gutting. Nothing happened on the first two nights. On the third night, so I'm told, it was creepy. It was summer, but the inside of the shop was cold. Not just the fish storage or the counter but the whole shop. This wasn't solved even by turning the heating on.
He kept hearing whispers. Fragments of words in the background, always coming from the shop front. Every time he went out there, no-one was there. Obviously, after a while you'd get a bit creeped out.
After finishing up, he heard the whisper one last time, saying something like "hello?". He went out to check... and saw something there. A thing, in a black robe, transparent. Like the stereotypical image you have of Death. But stinking of fish.
It stuck a finger out at him and said in a loud clear voice.
"I'VE COME FOR YOUR SOLE"
( , Wed 11 Mar 2009, 21:51, Reply)
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