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This is a question Devastating Put-Downs

Amorous Badger says: I once saw a former manager of mine being asked to 'sit down and let your mouth have a chance to speak' by his senior. What's the best heckle/putdown/riposte you've ever seen? (Hint: Recycled 'Your mum' jokes does not make an answer)

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 15:15)
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Clowns

A mate of mine was at the circus when a clown decided to use him as his fall guy. Clown somersaults across the ring and ends up in front of my mate:

"Tell me sir - are you the front end of an ass?"

"No" growls mate

"Then are you the backend of an ass"

"No"

"Then, sir, you must be no end of an ass!!" cries the clown triumphantly.

"Fuck off you red-nosed cunt"

Cheers
(, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 1:26, 16 replies)
Ah yes.
Viz. Very, very early Viz.

You are to be commended.
(, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 1:30, closed)
And John Cooper Clarke was telling it before that, though it was more of a shaggy dog story then.

(, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 1:54, closed)
*That's*
where I got it from. Been trying to think for ages where I heard it first.

cheers
(, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 1:56, closed)
I can say with certainty that one is at least 35 years old
so yes, predates Viz by a few years.
(, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 10:02, closed)
"I'm a human being"

(, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 1:35, closed)
I am a human doing.
That didn't happen, did it?
(, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 3:27, closed)
No
But never let the truth get in the way of a good story
(, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 4:09, closed)
Who'd ever think of letting truth get in the way of a good story
when we have Legless to do it for us
(, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 10:57, closed)
*stifles giggles*

(, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 15:12, closed)
Isn't that Clay's catchphrase?

(, Mon 28 Nov 2011, 1:40, closed)
Yes, I'd heard this is what constitutes wit in Australia

(, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 6:32, closed)
Classic Legless

(, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 7:00, closed)
cheers.

(, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 7:05, closed)
cheers

(, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 7:30, closed)
Frasier

(, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 9:42, closed)
You appear to have missed out the vital 3 hours of that joke.
Well done! :-)
(, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 13:50, closed)

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