Out for a drink with my girlfriend
And a few of our friends at the local pub on a Friday night. There was plenty of banter and everyone was getting nicely sloshed as the evening went by. As the drink flowed the conversation inevitably began to get dirtier and dirtier, you know how it is. Eventually we got on to the topic of our sex lives. When everyone’s last shag was, how often we did it, etc etc. Wanting to join in with the fun, I remarked that I could go all night long, and that I must have the sex drive of a rabbit.

“Yeah, and you’re hung like one as well” said my darling girlfriend. Everyone laughed. Even people on nearby tables who’d overheard laughed. I'm sure even the barstaff enjoyed a few surpressed giggles.

So I grabbed her with one hand by the throat, picked her and choke-slammed her with full force straight into the hard wooden floor. I stood there admiring my work, watching her writhe around on the floor, struggling to breathe with tears in her eyes while everyone else just stood there, open-mouthed. It was without a doubt my greatest ever put-down.
(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Mon 28 Nov 2011, 10:00, 13 replies)

It is the only way they learn.

( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 28 Nov 2011, 10:02, closed)

yay....
...domestic violence yay!
( bigmeuprudeboy is using powerpoint or paint...have MERCY, Mon 28 Nov 2011, 10:11, closed)

guarantee she was underage too. double awesome
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Mon 28 Nov 2011, 10:12, closed)

obviously

(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Mon 28 Nov 2011, 10:15, closed)

Get your coat,
you've pulled.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 28 Nov 2011, 10:22, closed)

I'll get your coat
You've pulled a gentleman.
(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Mon 28 Nov 2011, 10:23, closed)

Buy my coat.
You've pulled a Jew.
( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 28 Nov 2011, 10:24, closed)

If only there was a website
where we could pool all of these jokes together, like an encyclopaedia of sick jokes or something.
(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Mon 28 Nov 2011, 10:30, closed)

I know dude.
Just carrying on the thread here, did not realize there are rules to posting.

You fuck nugget.

Cough Where did you get yours from then. Cough
( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 28 Nov 2011, 10:31, closed)

just get a room you two.

( Trollman, Mon 28 Nov 2011, 10:37, closed)

a room with a jew?

(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Mon 28 Nov 2011, 10:37, closed)

Jewry's Inn?

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 28 Nov 2011, 10:58, closed)

:P

(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Mon 28 Nov 2011, 17:06, closed)