I was doing a stand-up comedy gig and this bloke heckled me.
"Why don't you tell some jokes?!" he said.

"Don't tell me how to do my job!" I retorted, "Do I come to your place and teach you how to sweep up?!"

He was completely floored and everyone laughed and said how funny and cool I was and how shit and unfunny he was, and how they all hated him.

The end.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 28 Nov 2011, 14:10, 9 replies)

That is because you are a comedy god Vagabond, I have bought every DVD you have released.

( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 28 Nov 2011, 14:44, closed)

omg i like so totally am lol

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 28 Nov 2011, 15:18, closed)

I totally want to be in you.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 28 Nov 2011, 15:20, closed)

A lot of gays say that.
THAT MEANS YOU'RE GAY! LOL!
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 28 Nov 2011, 15:24, closed)

I totally want to be gay in you.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 28 Nov 2011, 19:30, closed)

A young lad fresh out of University gets his first job,
he turns up on his first day and his new boss puts a sweeping brush in his hand and tells him to sweep the floor. Incredulous, he protests, "sweep the floor? Are you kidding me? I've got a degree from Oxbridge don't you know!"

"Oh I'm sorry," apologises the boss, taking the sweeping brush back. "You do it like this," he says, demonstrating a sweeping action.

It was hilarious and everybody laughed at all Oxbridge graduates forever.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 28 Nov 2011, 14:48, closed)

^TRUFAX^
100% TRUFAX
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 28 Nov 2011, 15:19, closed)

Close the pod bay doors.
We have ourselves a winner.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 28 Nov 2011, 15:20, closed)

Billy Connelly
AICMFP
( jakedamusss I understand, and dont care., Mon 28 Nov 2011, 23:00, closed)